Strange Meetings.

You would think Ronnie and I would be inseparable after what had happened right? You are wrong. It’s been three days. Three days since he has acknowledged me; let alone talked to me. I tried talking to him, but he'd just log off without a word. I tried messaging him, but I received nothing back. I knew it was too good to be true. I couldn't fathom what was going on. I was confused, and I was angry. I was beyond angry; I was pissed. He just used me, he had no decency to try to talk to me. I knew he wasn't busy because if he can spend an hour a day talking to me before this all happened, what’s stopping him from talking to me now?

Two days has passed and still nothing; I was completely fed up. I'd see him online and he wouldn't think twice about trying to talk to me. I knew he was regretting it, but on my side, I didn't regret it. Everything was sweet and passionate. Why couldn't he see how much he had meant to me? I hated him for what he's done, I hate him for gaining my trust and I hate him for breaking my wall. All it was, was a game to him.

I decided to send him a message telling him I was done. However, what really was done when it wasn't anything in the beginning. Nothing but a mindless fuck to him; that hurts the most.

Hit it and quit it right? To "busy" to talk to me conveniently after we fucked. I know you are avoiding me. Well. eff you Ronnie.
This is so messed up. I don't even care to hear your excuses.
At least I have the decency to try and still talk to you.
You have no idea how fucking mad I am at you. I have been for the past week.
But obviously you don't care since you finally got YOUR wish.
Fuck the chick and don't talk to her anymore.
That hurts and you have no clue how much.

Fuck this. I'm over it.
Don't talk to me.
Don't call me.
Delete me.
Delete my number.

From here on out, I want absolutely NOTHING to do with you.

And that was true. I wanted nothing to do with him. As much as I absolutely adored him, I knew I had to try to get past it. It was another "bump in the road" I had to get over.

I woke up the next day with an excruciating headache. I lazily got out of bed and into the bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed Tylenol. I popped them into my mouth, and downed them with a glass of water. I knew it would not work instantly, so I went back to bed and laid there until the pain had subsided. With my luck, it'll take forever. I sighed and decided to get up, regardless of the pounding in my head. I walked over to my ihome and blasted For the Fallen Dream.

I showered and got dressed in gray faded jean shorts and a black and white striped fitted tee shirt. I threw on my knee high converse shoes, blew dried and straightened my hair, and decided to spice up my makeup. Instead of my usual, I decided to go for the Smokey look. It really accented my eyes and as I looked myself over my body long mirror, I was satisfied.

I wanted to head to the shop to help mom get ready for the show. I walked out the door, locked it and walked over to my car. I drove over and walked into the shop and my eyes widened. it was complete chaos in there. I ran over to my mom.

"What’s going on?"
"Oh Dallas, you're here, good. Can you go help Ian with the tables and chairs?"
"Yeah sure."

I ran over to Ian and gave him a hug. We started moving everything into the back storage’s; along with all the computers and anything valuable that could easily break if some crazy things that I know will happen tonight. After hours of setting up, the bands started coming in with their equipment. I helped them tune as well as making sure the sound was decent then decided to make myself a drink. I was exhausted but i knew once the show actually started, I'd be hyper as ever. I rested my head on the counter thinking about my comfortable bed at home when i felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and my smile grew.

"JAKE!" I grabbed the lanky boy by his waist and pulled him into a bone crushing hug.
"Hi Dallas" He laughed hugging me back.
"What are you doing here? I thought you moved." I asked motioning him to take the seat next to me.
"I did, but I came back for the summer. I heard the shop had a show tonight and I couldn't pass up coming to see you."
My smile grew even more.
Jake was one of my best friends in high school. We were inseparable. I did a look over at him and he had definitely changed from high school. Back then, he was still lanky but he always wore knee-high cameos and his plaid shirts were always excessively big for him. But now, it seemed he found a fashion god fairy. He traded his cameos for jeans and actually had on a plaid shirt that fit him perfectly. His old spiky hair now reached his eyes and swiped to the side.

We met the first day of freshman year and some of the upperclassman's were picking on him. He didn't deserve it at all, no one did, so I did what anyone would do. I stood up to them for him. Sasha was popular and everyone wanted to get on her good side, so no one messed with me. They backed off and I had helped Jake up from the ground. He has been one of my best friends ever since.
"I'm so happy you're here! Don't you dare ever think of leaving me again. Or how about you stuff me in your suitcase and take me with you?" I said completely serious.
He laughed, "That would be amazing, but your mom would have a hissy fit if she found out you were shipped off in a suitcase."
I nodded and sighed. My mom worries about everything, but i love her nonetheless.
"So, do you need help with anything?" He asked.
I looked around and everything seemed to be in order.
"Nope. Everything looks pretty smooth." I looked at the clock hanging over the counter.
"We got about an hour before the show actually starts, let’s go somewhere and eat, I'm starved.
He nodded and we left with our arms link.
"So what have you been doing? How’s school?" I asked as we walked into the most fatty restaurant we could find; McDonald's.
"I've been pretty much studying my ass off lately, but thank god it's summer. And school isn't so bad. I've actually been invited to couple of frat parties! Can you believe it?!"
I laughed, “Good for you!"
We ordered our food and got a table. I knew i was starved but by the way i was eating, you'd think I hadn't eaten in days.
"Whoa, calm down chick." He laughed.
My face flushed red, "I can't help it, I'm hungry, and I love fatty foods."
I giggled and continued to eat.
"So while at these frat parties, did you mean any girls?"
He looked up and smiled.
I gasped, "Who is she? What is her name? Why is she not here?" I shouted.
He began laughing.
"Her name is Lauren, She's in my Sociology class and she had to go back home to Florida for summer break. But don't worry; you'll meet her one day."
I clapped. "You are really growing up." I faked a sob.
He shook his head and laughed at himself.
"What about you, any special boy in your life?" I frowned, I knew I should tell him about Ronnie, but this was happy time. I didn't want to ruin it.
"No one." I couldn't look into his eyes, which is a giveaway.
"Liar. What happened?"
I sighed and told him about Ronnie. He looked at me, saddened across his face as I re-lived what happened. I didn't want to tell him, but everything just came out.
"I cant do it anymore, Jake. I hate him and i hate everything he's put me through. I know we weren't together, but i didn't like anyone else. And you know me better than anyone, so bounded to one guy is a huge step for me."
He nodded, "I know, but you should just forget about this guy, he's a douche and obviously he's a no good little snot face."
I laughed, "That's what I told Sasha when Kerry broke up with her."
He smiled at me "Great minds think alike, which is why you're my sister from another mister."
I hugged him.

It was time for us to go back to the shop. We both got up and threw our trash into the trash bin. We made our way back and the place was packed, I walked in and nodded at Jack, the door attendant who was collecting people's money and stamping their hands for reentry.

I looked around to see if I knew any familiar faces. There was a whole bunch of people and I went around saying hi to everyone. I knew HE would be here, but I couldn't' see him anywhere. I was hoping he wouldn't come, but part of me was hoping he would. 86 wasn't just my favorite local band; it was also his. I sighed and pushed my way to the counter where Nikki and Shelly were sitting around talking. I mindlessly joined their conversation that is until I heard Josh, the lead vocalist talk into the mic. I made my way to the front of the crowd, hoping to get a good spot.

"Hey everyone!"
He received screams.
"We’re 86 and we're gonna play some amazing effin songs for you!"
He received more screams and they started with their old hit "disaster." It was catchy and I found myself head bopping to the beat. I looked back to see the people in the back doing random circle pits and singing along. My hand curled up into a fist and I threw it in the air. "OI OI OI OI!"

The set continued and I wanted to get into the pit. I saw Natalia on the side and grabbed her hand throwing her around in a circle receiving laughs coming from both of us. When I had put her down,I turned around to look in the back; bad idea. There he was, staring back at me. Anger boiled through my body and I threw daggers at with my eyes. I swear if looks could kill, he would be dead. His eyes showed sadness, regretful and hurt. By why was he hurt? he did this upon himself. He did this to me; I had every right to be angry with him.

I ignored his plea from his eyes, to get a smile. Instead, I rolled my eyes and tried to forget he was even there. The night progressed more and more and I drank probably three cups of coffee. I was beyond hyper. I was in the pit more times than i could count, and I knew with all the dancing and the body bumpin, I'd end up with bruises in the morning, but I didn't care.

Between intermissions, I walked outside, lit a cigarette and sat on the sidewalk. My head was between my legs. That headache was back again. I held my cigarette between my left pointer and middle finger, while my other hand massaged my head. I could feel someone sit next to me, but I didn't have the energy to look up.
"Can I burrow your lighter?" I knew that voice to be Michael. I haven't seen him all night, so it surprised me to find him here.
"Sure." I stood up and reached into my back pocket, retrieving my lighter. I handed it over to him.
"Thanks." He lit his cigarette and gave me back the lighter.
"When did you get here?" I asked as I took my seat next to him.
"A bit after the show started I guess." He shrugged.
"Do you like it so far?"
"I do! 86 is amazing!"
I smiled and nodded.
"Your mom allows this all the time?"
"Yeah, she doesn't mind the music too much and the guys adore her."
He nodded and it became silent again.
"So, how are you liking work?" I asked.
"It's pretty chill. I don't think I've ever worked somewhere, where I liked everyone I work with."
"Yeah, I wish I could work here. Mom doesn't want it getting in the way of school work, which I think is retarded since it's summer."
He laughed. "What school do you go to?"
"Honolulu Community College. It’s small but my classes are super chill."
"I think I might go there too. I'm getting everything worked out for the fall semester."

I could hear music playing again, so Michael and I got up. I saw Ronnie at the corner of my eye and I could see him looking between Michael and I. I scoffed and walked in.

The rest of the night went by with no problem. However, I found myself staring at Ronnie each chance I got. And it was worse when we ended up standing next to each other. He turned his body to mine, but I turned and walked away. I didn't give him a chance to explain. There wasn't any excuse that would make things okay. I turned back to see him look down and sigh. He doesn't deserve my time.

So why am I the one that feels guilty?