Limelight

I wake up and Billie isn't back yet.

I figure he probably crashed in Tre's suite for the night, too pissed off at me to come back to ours. He gets like that sometimes, too mad to face whatever he's mad at. In this case, I guess that's me.

Normally though, he always comes back and apologizes to me. I know he won't let this be the end of us. He isn't like that. He's in love with me and I'm in love with him. We'll be together forever.. Nothing can come between us. Fuck publicity, fuck his phase. It'll all be over soon, then everything will be normal again.

'Keep telling yourself that,' that stupid voice in the back of my head says bitterly, 'maybe you'll believe it.'

I'm starting to realize something about that voice. It goes away when I drink. Maybe I should drink a little more, just until Billie goes back to normal. Then the voice won't have a reason to be there anymore. Okay, sounds like a plan.

I reach for the bottle of Shmirnoff by my bed, only to find that it's empty. Fuck me running.

I remember seeing a few wine bottles down in the hotel lobby, but fuck if they weren't expensive. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to spend a few dollars. I'll do just about anything to get rid of this damned voice.

I make my way to the hotel lobby, which is thankfully close to empty. I buy a bottle of strawberry wine and a few bags of M&M's, an old comfort food of mine. The lady behind the counter gives me a wink when she hands me the bottle, which I ignore as politely as I can. She looks irritated and disappointed when I walk away, but I don't really care.

I was hoping I'd see Billie in the lobby... No such luck, of course.

When I get in the elevator, Tre is coming out of it. “Hey, have you seen Billie?” I ask him.

“No, why?”

“Just wondering..” I feel my heart sink back into my gut.

“You two arguing again?” Tre brushes imaginary dirt off of his jacket. I can tell that he's a bit hopeful, maybe because he still has a mega-crush on Billie. I admit it makes me kind of sad that I'm preventing him from being happy, but Billie's mine and I'm not giving him up.

“No.” Lie. “He just went out last night and I don't know where he is.”

Tre nods. He walks briskly down the hallway. Seems like since that picture got out there, the whole band's falling the fuck apart. Then again, Tre's been giving me the cold shoulder ever since Billie and I first got together.

It's a long walk to the elevator, and a longer walk to the room. A short woman wearing a maid outfit stands at the door, about to go inside. When she notices me, she smiles and blushes, backing up to let me in. I lock the door, just in case she's a fan with some insane scheme to meet Green Day.

Maybe I should be thankful Billie didn't stay the night with Tre. He was more than a little tipsy, and Tre wouldn't have hesitated to make a move on him. Tre's a good friend to me, but not that good. To be honest, I'm not even sure if you'd call me and Tre friends anymore or not. What do you call two people who deal with eachother, but actually share an unspoken, mutual hatred?

'Assholes.'

I've decided every time the voice speaks, I'll take a swallow of this wine. Which sucks, by the way, five star quality my ass. Definitely not worth thirty six bucks.

My phone vibrates and I reach for it, hoping it's Billie Joe texting me. Of course, it's just our manager.

BJ was here last night. Pretty pissed off. What happened?

How do I answer that? Should I thank him? I mean, I've been wondering where Billie was, so maybe a thank you would be appropriate. But if I thank him, he'll know something's up. The last thing I need is someone sniffing around me and Billie, trying to find reasons to split us up. I already have to deal with Tre doing that.

I decide not to text back at all. Seems like the best thing to do. If he texts me again, I'll call him or something, I don't know. I'll figure that out later.

By the end of the hour, I've finished off the bottle. The M&M's are history and I'm stretched out on the bed, staring at the ceiling. It's only a little past noon, and I've got a pretty swell buzz going on. I roll over on my side to stare out the window, watching the bustling city beneath the hotel.

People dash across the crosswalk, talking on their cellphones and carrying heavy breifcases. A couple takes their time down the street, staring up at a statue of some sort. They're holding hands, and the girl's head is rested on the guy's shoulder. I sigh, wishing Billie and I were still that lovey-dovey towards eachother.

I remember when Billie used to hold my hand at the most random times. Sometimes, if we were going somewhere in his car, he'd take one hand off the steering wheel, reach over and grab my hand. I'd look over at him in confusion, and he'd flash that pearly white smile. I'd blush and lower my head, turning my eyes to the window.

Billie doesn't do that anymore. His hands are either on the wheel or on his phone. He hardly paid attention to me at all anymore.

I stand up from the bed and drag my feet across the room. I pull the curtains shut to block out the world. I don't feel like seeing sunlight today. If I had it my way, the fucking sun would be gone.

'Then you'd freeze to death, tard.' the voice hisses in the back of my mind. I reach for the bottle, forgetting it's empty. Fuck..

Maybe freezing to death is what I need. Maybe if I was out of the picture everyone's lives would be easier to live. Damn, I must sound like a whiny little emo kid right now.

What I really want to do is go down to the lobby and buy another bottle of wine. But if I do that, everyone down there is gonna think I'm an alcoholic. Besides, can people sell you alcohol if you're already drunk?

'Who cares? Just do it. You'll never see these people again.' the voice informs me. I nod, and almost reply to it. That's when I decide that yes, I do need another bottle of wine. If I have enough money that is... Hotel prices, sheesh.

I make my way to the elevator, and a woman exits the one I'm about to take. She's holding a stack of snow white towels in one arm, a bottle of shampoo in the other. Her hair is piled up in a messy bun on the top of her head. She's a little sweaty, like she's been working hard on something for a while.

“Hi.” she chuckles as she leaves the elevator. She must either work here or be really good at stealing towels, shampoo and uniforms.

“Hello.” I mutter, walking in the elevator and pressing one. I look to my left and notice she's left her purse on the floor. Knowing how women are about their purses, I pick it up and leave the elevator just as the doors shut. “Ma'am? Ma'am!”

She stops, about to turn the corner at the end of the hallway. I raise my arm up to show her the pocketbook and she sighs, walking back to the elevator to retrieve it.

“Thank you.” she says, blushing from embarrassment. “I would have been lost without it.”

“I didn't know they let you carry purses around while you're working.” I joke.

“Oh, I'm not working,” she admits, “I clocked out half an hour ago. I'm just taking some towels up for my mother in law before I leave.”

“Oh.” I nod. I start to feel my legs turn to jelly.

“Yeah. Well, I don't want to hold you up.” she says, backing away as she finishes her sentence. “It was nice meeting you...” her voice trails off as if waiting for me to tell her my name. She doesn't recognize the bassist of Green Day? Holy shit.

'Don't get a big head.' the voice growls.

“Mike. Mike Dirnt.”

“Mike. I'm Christy. Nice talking to you.” her words are a bit jumbled, and she trips over a small potted plant while walking backwards. She blushes and turns around, dashing around the corner, out of sight.

Christy. Nice name.

I go back to the elevator, which has been waiting for me all this time. I step inside, pressing the one again and preparing myself for the ride down. The bumpiness of the ride throws me off balance and I almost bust my ass.

When the elevator reaches the first floor, I hear the sound of Tre's laughter. I walk down the hallway and find him sitting on one of the leather couches, his legs stretched out across some random guy's lap. Even though his head is down and his dark hair is covering most of his face, I can tell he's laughing, and enjoying Tre's company.

Wait a second.. That's not some random guy. That's Billie Joe.