Eyes Like Ice

A faint, almost empty smile wouldn't leave Spike's face as he gazed out into the cold, snowy November night. He was standing on his front porch with his arms crossed, impervious to the chilly weather, watching Dominick, Riley, and his beautiful little girl play in the thick layer of snow that covered the ground.

She really was a pretty girl. She had just turned three today, yet she already looked so much like her mother that it was almost scary. Long, straight black hair, pale, pale blue eyes, skin almost as white as the snow in which she played...and that Signum, that beautiful tangle of black curves and swirls that covered her entire back and bound her to a life of servitude. She also wore nothing but black clothing, though that was a similarity that her fathers had subtly forced upon her. Luckily, she seemed to have inherited nothing from her real father except a tendency to get restless on the night of the full moon, meaning that she could still be touched by sunlight.

Over the past three years, Spike, being a vampire, had remained virtually unchanged. Riley and Dominick, however, had both aged, though the changes weren't too severe. They both looked pretty much the same as they had the day Raven had died, albeit a little bit more haggard. Riley, amazingly enough, had become a renowned healer in the city, often sought out by an injured Levellua or vamp or Were and offered money for his services. This had given him what he needed to move out of his father's house and get his own apartment. Spike constantly offered to let the human live in his mansion, but Riley always refused in spite of the fact that most of his time was spent there with Raven's daughter.

Dominick had obtained a few scars on his neck from various fights he'd gotten into, but he was still basically the same as he'd been three years ago. Tough, pretty, cocky, still living with his master and following orders...He spent more time with Spike now, though, leaving the vampire's estate only when he absolutely had to.

"Kastalia Elaine Guthrie," Spike murmured as he continued to watch his child and companions thoughtfully. The little girl pounced on Dominick suddenly, knocking him back into the snowman they had built only moments ago. The Levellua completely destroyed the snowman when he fell. Kastalia giggled happily while landing on Dominick, and Spike's smile returned. He was glad his daughter hadn't ended up like her mother. She needed to feel. The three males still weren't sure how Raven had managed to keep herself going for all those years without emotions.

Spike's smile fell again when he thought of the girl. Her last words to them, the sound of her last breath, how lifeless she'd become...so suddenly...after all that pain...

Kastalia's loud squeal brought Spike out of his sad reverie, and he watched as she struggled to free herself from Dominick. The Levellua had sat up and pulled the child into his arms, grinning and holding her there and refusing to let go.

Riley was on his knees in the snow a few feet away, gazing at the scene unblinkingly. His eyes were unfocused, though, signaling that he was remembering now. A frown wouldn't leave his face as he thought of her...Raven. His beloved Raven...

He remembered her crying, writhing in pain on her bed, then she was just...gone. The doctor had used a C-section to save the child. It had been a miracle that the thing was still alive. Everyone had been alarmed when it had emerged, too. The black-haired baby hadn't made a sound. She'd just looked around at everyone with her big, almost white eyes, as if she'd known what was happening. Then, her eyes had found her mother, lying dead on the bed. Silence. She'd stared and stared and stared, not crying or moving or blinking. Such an unnerving gaze she had...

That gaze was what Riley found focused on him when he left his memories.

Kastalia was standing now, waiting as Dominick got to his feet, brushing the snow off of himself. Her wide, alert eyes wouldn't leave Riley, and her face was set in an emotionless expression exactly like her mother's had always been. All three of the child's fathers both loved and hated that eerie resemblance. But then, the girl laughed and rushed toward the human, the feeling returning to her pale eyes. She threw herself into Riley's arms, hugging him tightly. He grinned.

Dominick's mind seemed to be wandering now, though. That emotionless look had made him remember Raven's chill, her calm, cool composure, the way she was always so beautifully empty...

Her screams from the night she'd gone into labor resounded in his head. That calm, cool composure, gone. She'd been in so much pain, yet he hadn't been able to help her. None of them had. Her tears had been heart-breaking to them. Dominick had gone almost mad at the sight of them.

Mr. Hanwell had followed the group home from the party, claiming he would take Raven's baby as payment for what had been stolen from him, and Dominick had snapped. His Raven was gone. There was no way in hell he was allowing anyone to take all they had left of her, too. Mr. Hanwell had died a brutal, bloody death at the Levellua's hands, and everyone in the room had thanked him for it afterwards.

Dominick came back to reality at a call from Spike.

"Come inside. It's getting late," the vampire said before turning and heading into the mansion. The other two males and Kastalia followed without a word. They were all staying there tonight, anyway.

Spike led the way into a brightly-lit parlor. Kastalia's squeal when she saw all of the birthday presents waiting for her on the coffee table had them all smiling.

"Are these for me?" she asked excitedly as she slid her black coat off and tossed it on the couch.

"Of course," Dominick answered with a chuckle. "Who else would they be for?"

"Go ahead and open them," Spike told the child. She immediately began doing just that, snatching up a present and ripping the wrapping paper off of it. As the vampire watched her happily hug the big book Dominick had gotten for her, he frowned, now pondering her future.

It had already been decided that Riley would be the one to become her master once she was out of the academy all Levellua had to go to, but what would happen to her while she was actually attending the training school? What would they make her do there? Would she be all right without her fathers?

Kastalia moved on to her next gift, which turned out to be a book of beginner violin music from Spike. She had taken up the violin the moment she'd heard that her mother had played, and, amazingly enough, none of the males regretted letting her. Sure, she was still a bit bad, but she was improving far more quickly than a child her age should have been, so they knew she wouldn't be a beginner for too much longer.

They all hated that they'd never heard Raven play. The guilt they felt for it was unreasonable, but incredibly great, and they just couldn't overcome it. Someday, Kastalia would be her mother's double in that area as well. Whether that would ease their guilt or strengthen it, they didn't know.

"Thanks, Father," the young girl said as she turned to offer her daddy, who was standing behind her in the doorway with the other two males, a gracious smile. He returned the smile halfheartedly, but didn't reply verbally.

There was only silence as the music was set aside, another present being slowly brought forward. Kastalia fingered the shiny green bow on top of the box for a moment, then she said softly, sadly, "I'm sorry I killed her."

"Who?" Dominick asked, not understanding.

"Mommy. It's my fault she's gone and you're all sad, and I'm sorry."

None of the males knew how to reply to that at first, so there was nothing but silence once more. Then, finally, Riley said, "It isn't your fault. No one can be blamed for her death." Yet everyone in that room felt so guilty. So very guilty...

"Nuh-uh. If I hadn't been born, Mommy would be okay right now." When she turned, her face was tear-stained, the little droplets still flowing from her pale eyes. "I'm sorry." She was sobbing now, her little body shaking and jerking occasionally. "I didn't mean to hurt her. I swear I didn't."

Spike had her in his arms in a heartbeat, stroking her silky hair and letting her cry against his chest. "Hush, Kastalia," he whispered to her. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

Instead of arguing, the crying child merely sobbed, "I want to see her." They all tensed, knowing what she meant.

"All right," Dominick said after a few seconds. "Put your coat on and we'll go."

She slid out of her father's arms without a word, no longer sobbing, though her tears still fell. She retrieved her coat and put it on, then she followed the three men out of the room.

None of them were allowed to take the girl's hand as they walked down the street, heading in the direction of the cemetery. She insisted upon walking several feet away from them, right down the middle of the deserted, snowy road. They all watched her carefully from the sidewalk, though it was highly unlikely that anyone would drive down this street at eleven o'clock at night.

When they reached the city's only cemetery, a large, fenced-in graveyard littered with numerous sturdy old trees, it was the little girl who led the way to the small tombstone that had an all too familiar name written on the front.

Raven Anne Guthrie...

God, they missed her.

The monument was sleek and black. Nothing too fancy or too large, but it was still nice. It was pretty much a little block of stone with some swirly designs etched into the back and sides. The curls and curvy markings always reminded Dominick, Riley, and Spike of Raven's Levellua Signum, which only served to sadden them further.

Utter silence surrounded the small group as they stood before the snow-covered headstone. Kastalia sank to her knees suddenly, her face bearing that empty expression that so eerily resembled her mother's default look. Her small fingers traced the letters and numbers that adorned the stone for a moment, and then, the silence was broken by her soft voice, shaking as she fought back more tears.

"Happy birthday to me...Happy deathday to you..."

The males tensed. Never before had she done something like this. Then again, she'd only recently begun to ask about her mother. She'd visited this tombstone for the first time a few weeks ago, and she'd been requesting to go there at least once a day ever since then. Speaking or singing to the monument or the person it honored had never happened before. Touching had even been rare. But now...No longer, it seemed.

The child broke into sobs suddenly, cutting her song short. "I want my mommy," she whispered between sobs.

Spike was beside her in an instant, his arms around her and his teeth gritted. As she leaned against him and accepted the comfort he offered, he glanced solemnly at Dominick and Riley. They, too, were gritting their teeth, their expressions unbearably sad. It seemed they were all longing to tell the young girl the same thing...

So do we, but it can never be.