For the Hopeless

Hayden smiled innocently at Aven across the antique oak table in the center of the dining room, pretending not to notice as the elfin woman fidgeted nervously, deep in thought. A man groaned from the makeshift bed on the floor behind her, but she paid him no mind, figuring he likely wasn't conscious enough to make sense of any conversation that took place in his presence.

"So, you and Dameon, huh?" she began brightly, as if she had not an inkling of the emotional turmoil brought about by that very subject. "You guys make quite the cute couple. How are you getting along?"

The woman's cheeks reddened, her eyes flicking to Hayden's innocent face for the briefest moment, and she said, "Well, I guess. He's a really sweet guy, and he's shown me nothing but kindness since I came here."

I'll bet he showed you more than his kindness, Hayden thought, though her smile remained as sweet and innocent as ever. "But he left you here, all by yourself, while he ran off to save Bailey. That wasn't very nice of him, was it?"

Aven's blush darkened, and her hands began to fidget upon the tabletop once again. "Oh, I don't know. I've only been here for a short time, and Bailey's been around forever. He had every right to leave me in order to go after her." But Hayden noticed the hint of jealousy to her tone, and her smile grew a bit wider because of it. "Besides," the elf went on, her fingers slowing in their twisting and shifting about each other, "I'm not technically alone. He left you and Samara with me." She turned her face to the girl and forced a small smile. "Your company is enough for me."

"Still, though," Hayden began, resting her chin on an upturned palm and trying not to gag at the woman's saccharine words. "Wouldn't things be so much more pleasant for you if Bailey was just a bit less..." She paused, pretending to search for the blindingly obvious words. "In the way all the time?"

Aven looked shocked to even hear those words, beginning to shake her head immediately. "Oh, no. Without Bailey, I would probably be dead right now. Why would I ever want her out of the way?"

Hayden shrugged and sighed, rapidly losing interest in the subject. She knew a lost cause when she saw one, and she'd never seen a bigger lost cause than Aven. She was just too...perfect; the nice, sweet girl that wouldn't hurt a fly, let alone a woman who saved lives on a daily basis. "Of course," she said dryly as she stood, her chair nearly tipping over when the legs snagged on the arm of the unconscious man behind it. "Who would ever want Bailey dead?" She began to make her way out of the room, having to carefully wind her way through the maze of grimy bodies on their little makeshift beds on the floor as she went, and Aven watched her go with a look of hurt confusion on her gentle face.

"Oh, well...I'll talk to you later, then," she said softly, sadly, and Hayden merely grunted in response.

What the hell had made her think that Aven would be a good tool to use against Bailey? If being left alone by a bitchy teenager hurt her delicate little feelings, how would she feel about killing someone? She just wasn't capable of it.

On to Plan B, it seemed: magic.

-?-

"Thank you for taking care of these people while we were gone," Dameon said, dropping tiredly onto the old, creaky swing on the front porch. "I can only imagine how much trouble it was to arrange them all."

Samara shrugged, the barest hint of a smile on her lips as she looked at the man. She began to move her legs again, gently propelling the swing forward and backward, forward and backward. "It was no trouble, really. I just picked the dead ones from the pile and had them help me to move the rest of the bodies." Dameon's eyebrows raised in shock, and she laughed lightly. "Did you forget that I was a necromancer?"

"No," he answered, a bit of shock still swirling behind his eyes, though he offered her a smile. "I just didn't expect you to be so casual about it."

She grinned, looking to the sky as the glittering white of snowflakes began to drift slowly down once more. "I've been doing this sort of thing since I was younger. It's nothing new to me."

Dameon's smile faded into a small frown, but she pretended not to notice, hoping he would let go of the sad thoughts she knew had entered his mind. Alas, she wasn't so lucky, and he asked softly, "How long have you been without your parents?"

She kept her eyes on the cold, gray sky and shrugged absentmindedly. "It feels like years, but it's only been a few months. I've been practicing my necromancy since long before they were gone."

"What happened to them?" was the man's next question, though they both knew that he already had an inkling of the answer.

Her gaze became unfocused, haunted, the snowflakes now falling unseen before her amethyst eyes as something so much more violent danced through her mind's eye. "What happened to them all." Dameon fell apologetically silent, his eyes upon the snowy ground before the roofed safety of the porch. "Who's Noah?" she asked after a moment, her voice a small, far-away whisper. Her eyes had regained their focus, but they had yet to leave the sky. "Bailey said the name when you carried her in," she explained, feeling his questioning gaze upon her. "Who is he?"

"By brother," he answered softly, so softly that she could barely hear him. "Bailey's lover. He died in an accident a long time ago."

"He must have been a great man if he stole a devil's heart," she murmured, and he nodded.

"I'm not even half the man he was," he admitted, looking down at his calloused, battle-scarred hands.

"No," she said a bit more pleasantly than before, and he was surprised to see a smile upon her lips, her eyes finally on his instead of the dreary heavens. "You're probably so much more than that."

-?-

Tawny sighed, carefully folding her hands upon her lap. She felt like this was all she'd been doing lately, sitting at Bailey's bedside, watching as Bailey slept, waiting for Bailey to wake up. Nothing made her happier than being at the woman's side, even if she was unconscious, but she was no longer sure of what they had, no longer sure if she was really meant to be the one watching over her. Then again, had she ever really been sure? There was something between them, sure, but was it what she'd thought? Was it as strong as she'd thought?

She put a hand to her spinning head and leaned back in the hard, uncomfortable chair. This was just too much.

After a moment, she took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, forcing herself to let go of those heavy, confused thoughts. She began to listen to the thoughts of everyone in the house around her, filtering into her brain like the soft whispers of the snowfall beyond the window.

Aven was downstairs, lamenting the love Dameon held for Bailey. Dameon, on the front porch, was thinking nearly the same thing. Tawny refused to let herself get sucked into these negative thoughts, however, so she quickly forced her mind to another place, what she thought would be a safer place: Hayden's mind, in the room just down the hall. But there was a vampire in her head, a strange, intimidating wretch of a man, and her thoughts were a buzzing mass of confusion and worry and deep thought, sounding like the buzzing of a thousand bees to the telepath. She pulled out after hearing Bailey's name as a distant, angry whisper.

She just couldn't escape from the woman, not even in the minds of her fellow Guardians.

"You're quite the catch, aren't you?" she murmured to the sleeping devil, placing her bony elbows on her thighs and burying her face in her hands. She decided to try one last thing before surrendering herself to Bailey's thrall. With a soft sigh, she let her mind focus on the thoughts of the only person who might not be thinking of Bailey: Samara.

There was nothing to be heard here, no words and no ideas darting about to make noise. Her mind was the most tranquil Tawny had ever entered, more serene even than the minds of the monks she'd once found meditating during her travels. She saw what the young girl saw, as that was the only thing to fill her calm mind: a small tabby cat and a skinny cat with blue-black fur, chasing each other about in the snowy front yard – Madeleine and the necromancer's cat, playing, without a care in the world.

"Do you plan to stay with us?" Dameon's voice leaked into her thoughts suddenly, casually, as if he hadn't been dwelling on Bailey for what seemed like an eternity.

Tawny felt the girl shrug, the mental image of the two cats prancing about the yard barely covered by the sound of her words when she said, "I really don't have much of a choice, do I? I'm safer here than on the streets, and I'll probably be of more use in the war this way."

Dameon paused for a moment, then asked softly, "Are you taking part in the war to try to find your parents?"

Samara's attention turned from the spastic felines, and Tawny saw Dameon's scruffy face for an instant before the image was covered by an array of dark, heavy thoughts. "I may be young, but I'm not stupid. I know that there's no hope for them." The words were muffled beneath the girl's raging thoughts, but the sentiment was unmistakable. "I'm helping so that what happened to my parents might happen to a few less people."

"But not for revenge?" Dameon questioned, and Tawny felt his thoughts growing strong enough to crowd her mind as he pondered his own question.

"No, never for vengeance." Samara turned her attention from the werewolf now, and the sight of the two cats once again filled Tawny's rapidly emptying mind. The only thought Samara had left was an echo of her words, of the sentiment she had spoken. Never for vengeance. And then, there were only kittens in the snow.

Tawny pulled herself free and let go of a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She lifted her head from her hands and was surprised to see Bailey sitting up on the bed, the bright bandages covering her many wounds glowing ghostly white in the room's darkness. She looked as if she'd been watching Tawny, patiently waiting for her to return, for quite some time. She smiled softly. "Welcome back."

"I could say the same to you," Tawny said, her eyes scanning the woman's body to make sure she hadn't missed any of her dozens of injuries. "How are you feeling?"

"Better than you, I'm guessing," she teased, and her smile grew. Tawny tried to return it, but it came out as more of a grimace than her usual sweet smile.

"Yeah," she said, feeling guilty as she watched Bailey's pleasant expression fade into one of worry. "Probably."

Bailey swung her legs over the edge of the bed, unabashed even when she realized that those ghostly white bandages were all she was wearing. Tawny blushed and kept her wide eyes on the woman's face, but she was too worried to notice. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, really," Tawny said softly, her eyes falling to the floor as the rush of her embarrassment disappeared.

"How about we quit this little game before it starts?" Bailey suggested in a less-than-pleased tone. "I know there's something wrong, you know there's something wrong, so let's just talk about it."

Tawny continued to gaze at the floor for a moment, then, finally, she gathered her courage and looked Bailey boldly in the eye. "I don't know if we're right for each other."

Bailey's aggravation vanished completely, replaced instantly by a confused frown. "Where did that come from?" she asked, her tone much gentler now. "We've only been trying this for a few days. We don't know if we're right for each other yet." But Tawny was already shaking her head. She knew better.

"I'm not what you need, Bailey," she said, resolve strengthening her voice. This was for the woman's own good, and it had to be done no matter how much it hurt. "I'm sweet and gentle and caring. I'm tiny and cutesy and a total push-over. I'm not strong enough for you, not romantically, not in the way you need."

Bailey's brow had furrowed, her frown deepening until it nearly broke Tawny's heart right in two. "Is this because of that whole Dameon thing?" she asked, and suddenly feeling too exposed, pulled the comforter around her to hide her bare, bandaged body. "Because of how it made me jealous to see him with Aven? I promise, it isn't what you think," Bailey said almost pleadingly, but Tawny knew that she was lying, that it was exactly what she thought.

"No, it's not about that," she said, then swallowed back the bitter taste that shiny new lie had left in her mouth. "It's just...I know I'm not right for you." Even though you're perfect for me. "I'll be your friend – I'll always be your friend – but I don't think a relationship is what either of us needs, at least, not right now." Not with each other. She got to her feet quickly, nearly knocking the chair backward in her hurry. "Now, I'm going to go check on everything downstairs. You should get some more rest." And she strode swiftly out the door on her tiny doll's feet, leaving it half-open as she hurried to escape.

Bailey's stunned thoughts followed her down the hall. What just happened? And again, louder now, What just happened?

Tawny, come back. It was an echoing cry in her head, reverberating through her skull over and over again. Tawny, come back!

But she was gone, and she wasn't going back.

-?-

"You're not going to be sending her off on anymore suicide missions, are you?" Dameon asked half jokingly as he and Samara picked their way through the living room, checking on the room's unconscious occupants as they went.

"Bailey?" Samara asked, kneeling to check a blonde woman's pulse. "No, I don't intend to. I didn't really mean to in the first place, though, so I can't make any promises." Assured that the woman was alive, she stood, turning to find Dameon staring at her with a puzzled expression on his face. He locked eyes with the young necromancer for an instant before turning to resume his walk through the room.

"Do you know of any other places we should check out?" he asked as he nudged a sleeping man with his toe. The man swatted at his foot and mumbled something, then rolled onto his side, very alive.

He saw Samara shrug out of the corner of his eye. "Nothing like the pretzel place. I only know of a bar that serves Traitors, The-"

"Crimson Fang?" Dameon finished for her, and she turned to him, surprised.

"Yeah," she answered. "How did you know?"

He smiled and shrugged, much like she always did. "Aven took Bailey to that place when she first arrived here. It's already been cleaned out."

"Did I hear my name?" Aven asked, frowning as she walked into the room. Dameon hadn't realized, but she'd been sitting at the dining room table the entire time, hunched over and thinking silently.

"Uh, yeah," he said while turning to face her. "I was just telling Samara about how you led Bailey to The Crimson Fang a while ago."

"Oh," the elf said, seeming quite let down, as if she'd expected them to be having some deep, meaningful conversation about her or something. "All right." She started dejectedly for the stairs, likely preparing to shut herself away in the room she'd been given, but Dameon stopped her.

"Wait," he blurted, reaching for her arm. She turned, and his hand fell awkwardly to his side. He looked to Samara and asked, "Have you had the chance to shower yet?"

The girl smiled knowingly. "No, actually. I've barely had the chance to eat with all the work you've been giving me," she teased. "But if you'd be so kind as to have someone bring me some clean clothes soon, I'll gladly start taking one now."

Dameon grinned. "All right. I'll see if Tawny can help you in a minute. Just take your time in the shower." She nodded once, then vanished quickly to the second floor, more than happy to give the couple a bit of time to talk alone.

Aven and Dameon stood alone for a moment, awkwardly glancing around the room at everything but one another. Then, suddenly, they looked at each other and began to speak simultaneously.

"I didn't mean to run off on you earlier," Dameon blurted.

"Do you want to go to dinner?" Aven asked in a rushed slur.

"What?" they both questioned, then sheepishly laughed together.

"Dinner? That sounds nice," Dameon said before the chance to talk against one another could arise again. "We can talk about why I left earlier."

Aven smiled. "Oh, there's no need to talk about that." But there was, and they both knew that perfectly well. "We'll just talk about whatever pops up. Get to know each other, you know?"

He smiled in return, a bit more genuinely than she had. "Sounds good. Let me just go tell Tawny, and-"

"Tell me what?" the small girl asked from the top of the stairs, just a few seconds before she appeared in their line of vision.

Dameon turned to her with a slight frown, surprised she hadn't been listening to their thoughts before that moment. "Aven and I are going out to dinner." Had her lips just tightened, or was it just his imagination? "Samara's in the shower right now, and she needs clothes. I was hoping that you could help her and maybe keep an eye on things down here while we're gone."

"Sure," Tawny said, making a very obvious effort to keep her voice pleasant. "I'll see what I can do for her, then I'll take over the watch down here."

Dameon smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Tawny. Would you like us to bring something back for you?"

"No, thank you," she answered, not even bothering to force a thankful smile. "I'm not very hungry."

Dameon frowned at the girl once again. "Is something wrong?"

"It's nothing," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Just some personal issues. You should go out and have fun." Now, she forced a smile, and Dameon smiled back uneasily.

"All right. We'll get back here as soon as we can." He took Aven's hand and started for the front door, and they both offered her one last smile before disappearing into the snowy evening, only Dameon wearing a coat.

Tawny could just imagine him slipping that nice leather jacket onto Aven's shoulders when she began to gripe about the cold, both of them completely forgetting about the noble woman whose slender frame had been graced by that very coat only days ago. She could imagine both of them laughing together, relaxing and having fun with no regard for all of the people they had left behind to suffer. She could imagine how the night would end, hours later than either of them had expected, with a trip up to Dameon's room.

It sickened her. All of it. Every last bit.

I just gave her up so that you could take my place, she thought, glaring at the door through which Dameon had disappeared only moments ago. I just gave her up because I thought that you could do better than I could. Are you really going to prove me wrong so soon?