Just Off Suicide Avenue is Sevenfold Street

SEVEN YEARS LATER

I looked down at the tombstone I’d been visiting more and more recently. In the cemetery, I was comforted more by the silence than I was by the craziness at home. Sighing, I took my normal spot to the left, leaning with my back against the side of the tombstone, my gaze going over the empty field that eventually turned into beach. I had run away again, though this time it’d only been gone for about an hour now. Stress was getting to me so much easier than it used to. At twenty-five, I often felt like I was forty-something. I picked up one of the lilies from the bunch I brought and twirled it in my hands. I didn’t have to speak to the silence to know my Uncle Jimmy was listening, where ever he was. Just a few more minutes passed when I heard a car pull up into the gravel parking lot, a door slamming shut. I knew who it was.

“You’re the only one out of our entire thirty-plus person family that has the balls to come to me when I’m in a mood.”

“Because I’m the only one who has nothing to lose from fighting with you.” I looked up to my brother, who looked like our father’s identical twin instead of mine. “Can I sit, or are you gonna be a bitch about it?”

“It’s still a free country, last time I checked.” I heard the scoff and I’d bet half my bank account Brian rolled his eyes as well. He sat down next to me, scooting over as I did, allowing both of us to brace our backs on Uncle Jimmy’s tombstone. He pulled his legs up, laying his forearms on his knees.

“What got to you this time, Bree?” I shrugged. During the past seven years, Brian and I got as close as a twin brother and sister possibly could. I’d poured my thoughts, hopes, dreams, and fears out to him too many times to count. He did the same in return. We ended up being the perfect siblings in the end. “Don’t shrug at me.”

“Don’t be a dick.”

“Just tell me what’s up, Beejy.” I smiled softly at the feminine form of ‘Beej’ that had been given to me a few years ago. “You haven’t not told me anything in years.” I sighed and looked to the ocean in the distance. The waves were coming in slow, no doubt in my mind that the local surfers had abandoned trying for today.

“Got really stressed again and I didn’t want to explode on anyone.” I mumbled. “It’s harder this time around, I think.” I pulled my own legs up, wrapping my arms around them and lying my head on my knees while I looked at my brother. “I mean, the first time they all left for tour, it wasn’t that bad. You know, everyone was still young and shit. Now, Connor and Hannah have little Juliann. Gianna and Salvatore have Quinn and Liam-“

“We could teach those two a lot, you know.” I narrowed my eyes.

“We are not teaching those twins anything we know. They have to figure it all out themselves. It’s part of life.” Brian shrugged. “Anyways, you and Rora have baby Adrianna Lee on the way. Billie is still having the time of her life as Conrad’s fiancé. I know Simone and Carmine want kids, especially Carmine,” Brian smirked at the reference to the Italian man, “but they want to keep touring and working with the band so they hold off. Mom and Dad and everyone else certainly aren’t getting any younger, which means we take over Vicious Homicide soon since Simone already forfeited her share. You’re having a grand old time bouncing around as band manager to several extremely busy bands, which is stressing Rora out, which is causing problems for your unborn child, by the way.” I watched my brother’s face fall as I said my last comment.

“I know.” He whispered. “I’m taking a break from all of it. This is my last week at Vicious Homicide until Adrianna is born.” There was a moment of silence as Brian moved to mock my position. Our eyes were locked, icy blue on icy blue as we continued to talk. “What about you? I know you worry about everyone and all the girls go to you ‘cause you’re the oldest female, but I know that’s not what’s stressing you out the most.” I bit my lip for a second, not contemplating letting my thoughts spill out, but trying to figure out how to express it all.

“It’s,” I paused, “it’s everything.” My voice was soft as I spoke. “I have that ever irrational fear that every girlfriend has of their boyfriend cheating on them. I have that inkling of doubt in my mind that maybe someday soon Nixon won’t want to wait for me anymore. That he wants what everyone else around us has and I won’t be ready. I get lonely in our house when he’s gone. Just like you, I’m juggling bands, but from behind the scenes so I can work at home. I don’t sleep well at night, if I can even sleep, because I’m worried about everyone on still on tour. Charlie is coming to me every afternoon, nearly breaking down from all the shit he’s taken on in high school because he thinks he has to prove himself to everyone. I think he’s being picked on, honestly. And he won’t tell anyone. I’m lucky I’ve gotten him to talk to me even a little and he doesn’t want to quit anything or talk to Uncle Matt and Aunt Val.”

“He sounds like you and me quite a few years ago.”

“Yeah, but he won’t pull a vanishing act, Brian. He may have the funds, but he’s only fifteen. He can’t access them. That may be the only thing stopping him right now.” My brother shrugged.

“So, everyone deals with it when it happens, if it happens. By the time he turns eighteen, I’m sure it’ll be all under control, though. Just keep helping him. At least you’ve recognized the signs. When we were younger we didn’t have anyone who realized it. We know better than anyone what he is going through. I’m here to help as well.” I nodded.

“And the rest of it?”

“You know Nix will never in a million years cheat on you. You remember what he said on stage that one day?” I smiled uncontrollably.

“How could I ever forget? ‘My promise is to be with you and only you for eternity. My promise is to wait with you for the day you will willing take my last name as yours and the government legally recognizes you as mine and mine alone. I promise you the world…’” I mocked easily, the words echoing in my head as I remembered Nixon speaking them.

“He meant it every word. I swear to you that you have nothing to fear. Nixon only wants you to be happy. And, so, you get lonely. Get a damn dog, for Christ’s sake. Take a break from work. We currently own one-fourth of Vicious Homicide records, each. You can do whatever the fuck you want.”

“But-“

“Don’t fucking interrupt me.” My brother snapped. “I don’t care what’s right or what’s wrong. You take a fucking break if you need it, you got me?” I helplessly nodded. “If you can’t sleep at night, it may just be the stress keeping your brain active. If it keeps up after you take a break from everything, go see someone about it. No sleep isn’t good for you.” Another car pulling up slightly caught my attention, but I didn’t bother turning to see who it was, though my brother did. The slamming of a car door and heavy, familiar footsteps made Brian stand up. I turned my head, looking out to the sea once more. “I’m going home to my pregnant wife now, Bree. I expect to see you at family dinner in a few hours.” I numbly nodded. I focused on the ocean, the far away sound of crashing of waves sending serenity my way.

A person sat next to me, legs covered by blue jeans and pink converse on their feet. The smell of sweat, leather, and cologne is what made me set my icy blues on emerald green. His shirt was a simple turquoise blue v-neck and his jacket was a black leather one.

“I thought you didn’t get off for break ‘til tomorrow?” Nixon grinned at me, my inner girl squealing with joy. He laid his hand on my shoulder, stroking down my arm until he could link his fingers with mine. He brought his other hand up, playing with the promise ring on my right hand. His grin turned into a sexy smirk, his eyes not leaving mine as he kept moving. He slid the ring of my fourth finger of my right hand, and picked up my left hand. Without a word, the promise ring was fit perfect on my fourth finger of my left hand. “Nix?” He brought both hands up to my face, stroking my cheeks with his thumbs before kissing me. It reminded me of the one I had gotten when I came back after those two years. Sweet, then straight to the point, making my knees weak.

“That should have been there a long time ago.” He whispered against my lips. My eyes shifted over his face quickly as I made up my mind.

“Let’s make it legal.” I grinned as I was kissed again. I was finally gonna get my happily ever after.