Gaskarth

Chapter one...This is where it all begins...

"Um, hey...My name is Maria Miller. I'm here for my appointment to uh...Ya know...Uh..." I paused when the lady at the desk gave me a weird look. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"I'm here to get pregnant." I whispered. Was that even the right thing to say?

"M'kay. Just sign your name here, Hun. And your mom came last time to help you fill the papers out. Correct?" She said as I nodded slowly and sighed.

I was being forced to do this...But it might help my sister. I would rather help my sister live more than anything...I'm not going to college because I had to stay here in Baltimore just to help my mom out with my sister. Our dad is always busy down at the office...

My sister is severely sick. She's only fourteen...She doesn't deserve this.

I'm only using this baby for an organ...Is that even right? Even though this baby hasn't been brought into this world yet...I felt alot of sympathy for it. I wasn't meeting my sperm donor today, but I was looking at all of his information and his picture.

We had to match up the proper kidney with the sperm donor so that this baby would come out healthy so that my sister could get a nice working kidney...

This baby will not be able to have a kidney...I mean...She or he won't get to do stuff like the other kids can. Like do cheerleading or football...She or he has to be very careful in this kind of situation.

And that's what scared me.

I'm not ready to be a mom. It's not an easy task...I mean of course there is a little bit of joy in it, but...When it comes down to taking care of them...That is alot of hard work.

There is so much stuff that you have to do as a mother. And...I'm not ready. I tried to tell my parents that, but...They want what I want...

For my sister to live and carry on with her life. The doctor isn't sure that this is going to work...But everyone in my family wants to give it a try. And they all looked at me for the person to get pregnant...I just graduated from high school.

And I am pressured to become a pregnant teenager...I'm eighteen, but I still consider that to be a teenager.

"Ms. Miller?" I heard someone say as my head shot up towards the door in the waiting room. And there stood a petite woman with short black hair and old fashioned glasses hanging on the roof of her nose.

She shot me a friendly smile as I stood up and took babysteps toward her.

I was dreading this...I couldn't get pregnant. No...I just can't. And the bad thing is...This "sperm donor" isn't going to be with me through the way...And we had to choose a healthy looking person for this. I mean the doctor had to choose, but still...

I don't understand why I couldn't just wait for another year and get a boyfriend and just sex him when we're drunk...And there ya go. Happily ever after. Ugh. But unfortunately...Life isn't that easy...

The petite middle aged woman led me back to some huge office and there sat the guy me and my mom talked to about a week ago...

Doctor Spears.

"Ah, if it isn't little Miss Miller." He laughed and stood up from his desk chair as I put some of my thick black hair behind my ear as the lady shut the door behind her and left the big office.

"Hey, Doctor Spears. I'm here for the uh...Um...The thing." I managed to bring myself to say as he nodded slowly and started to look through some papers.

"Alright, so...Take a seat right there. We have some things to talk about before we do this..." He spoke softly as I nodded and sat down in the chair by the desk. My mom already paid for this...And I was all set. All I had to do was...Get pregnant. I guess?

It sounds so easy...But believe me...It so isn't.

"So your sperm donor...Is Gaskarth." Doctor spears said as I arched my eyebrow up at him.

"Um...What?" I chuckled.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Mr. Alexander William Gaskarth." Doctor Spears said as I nodded slowly and sighed.

"Um, he is healthy, right? Why did you choose him? Did you think he would be a good match for me? Does he have a good kidney?" So many questions and I was pleading for the answers...

"One at a time, Ms. Miller." He laughed slightly and sat down at his desk chair behind his computer.

"This is going to take a while..." Doctor Spears whispered to himself as I rolled my eyes and slouched down in my chair.

"Alright...He is very healthy. That is why I chose him. And...He has no diseases because if he did...Obviously I wouldn't be injecting his sperm inside of you." Doctor Spears laughed loudly as I gulped and nodded slowly.

That was awkward...

"He came in here the other day with his friend Mr. Barakat. They were laughing and they disturbed the whole office, but...If you must know. Mr. Gaskarth said he was only doing it for a dare. Or some idiotic reason like that...But he did get paid. He took everything as a joke if I may add that in." Doctor Spears said in an annoyed voice as I clutched onto the side of the arms on my chair.

"Um...Is that bad? I mean...Will this baby act like he does?" I said quietly as Doctor Spears laughed and nodded.

"Most likely." He half smiled.

"Oh,...Well, talk to me more about this guy. I mean I am having his kid...And he doesn't know who I am...Does he?" I chuckled.

"Um...We did tell him your name, but we didn't show him a picture or any other information. We told him why you were doing it. He just nodded...He didn't seem like he cared when he was filling out papers and what not." Doctor Spears said as I closed my eyes and nodded slowly.

"Would you like to see a picture of him?" He asked me as my eyes flew open and I nodded slowly. Doctor Spears turned his computer toward me...And there I saw Mr. Gaskarth.

He had dark hair with blonde highlights in the bangs. His eyes were very dark. Dark brown to be exact. He was cute...He looked like your average guy. And he looked very unsure through his expression.

"Um...Was he forced to do this?" I don't even know why I asked that. Doctor Spears gave me a curious look, but then nodded.

"He said it was a dare...And the whole time he was talking to Mr. Barakat he said he didn't want to do it...So I'm guessing he just did it for the money." Doctor Spears tried to hold back a laugh as I gulped and nodded slowly. I continued to stare at his picture on the computer screen.

"How old is he? May I have all of his information...Ya know. Just in case something weird happens?" I shrugged as Doctor Spears nodded and looked through more papers.

"His name is Alexander William Gaskarth, but he prefers to be called Alex. And he is twenty one at the moment...He will be twenty two on December 14th of 2009. His mom and dad are Peter and Isobel Gaskarth...He used to have a brother, but he died. He didn't put the reason down on the paper...But anyways..." Doctor Spears paused and flipped the paper over as I started to wiggle my foot. I was so anxious.

I just wanted to go home already and let this be over with...

"He went to Dulaney and graduated in 2006. He doesn't go to college, but he is in a band by the name of All Time Low?" Doctor Spears said with curiosity and looked up at me as I shrugged.

"They don't ring a bell." I chuckled as he looked back down at the papers.

"He doesn't have any severe medical conditions...That's why I chose him. His kidney looks good because we tested him...And that is pretty much all you need to know." Doctor Spears smiled up at me as I forced a smile back.

"Um...Does he seem like the dad type? And where can I contact him? Does he live in Baltimore?" I still had more questions...Wonderful.

"In my opinion Mr. Gaskarth seems like your average slacker. I'm surprised he passed high school. He knocked a bunch of my tools over downstairs in the lab. And Mr. Barakat is attached to his hip most of the time from what I can see..." Doctor Spears chuckled and stared into my eyes as worry filled them. "He does live here in Baltimore...But is on tour most of the time. So he usually lives on the road. That is what he wrote down anyway..." He said as I nodded slowly and itched the top of my head.

"So if you really wanted to contact him, Ms. Miller...Then just stop by here and we will give you his number...Or something." Doctor Spears shrugged as I nodded and sighed.

"Are we ready to do this?" I said nervously as he half smiled and nodded.

"Yes, but first we need to head down to the lab and get you in a gown and stuff...I'll meet you down there. You know where it is at right? I showed you last time you were here..." Doctor Spears said as I nodded and left his office and headed for the elevator.

Doctor Spears was a tall man. He was bald and always wore something nice to work. I mean obviously because he is a doctor...But yeah.

I breathed heavily as the doors came open and I walked out of the elevator and into the lab where there was a waiting room near by. People stared at me as I walked over to the small desk in front of the lab rooms.

"I'm Maria Miller. Doctor Spears sent me down here for um an IUI..." The spunky lady with curly brown hair smiled up at me and nodded.

"Oh, yes! Right this way!" She exclaimed. And might I add very loud...

She led me to one of the big lab rooms and handed me a gown and a bag to put my clothes and stuff in. She left me to change as I stripped out of my clothes and slipped the baby blue gown over my head. I sat down in the big lay down chair and stared at the bright white ceiling.

You're going to do fine, Maria...You'll see. This will all be over before you know it...Just think about Becca. You have to do this for her...She can't die. She doesn't deserve to die...If you didn't do this you would be a bad sister. And you don't want to be a bad sister do you? Of course not so stop having doubts...

I gulped and sighed loudly as the door came open, scaring the shit out of me.

Doctor Spears came in with two nurses behind him. He was in a big lab coat and had a blue mask hanging on his neck as he gave me a reassuring smile.

"You ready, Ms. Miller?" He asked me as I nodded slowly and that dry lump eased it's way up my throat. I can't cry...not here. Not today.

"This might hurt a little." I heard him say as I nodded and stared up at the ceiling as I felt something go up inside of me. I winced in pain and squeezed on tight to the side of the chair.

"Oh, god." I moaned out in pain and then I felt it...

Did that just happen?