Silver Wing

My name is Andy.

I was lonely for most of my childhood. Surely this shouldn't be the life of a child; parent-less, always ending up with foster parents who don't give a shit—aren't they the ones who want a child?—and becoming independent when I shouldn't have been. I should have been dependent on someone...but who? Who was that someone when there was no one around for me?

She showed up one mundane Monday night, just as the chilly air settled in my heater-less apartment room. Her first words were not words that could be exchanged in any casual conversation; she was definitely an incongruous kind of girl.

"Do you believe in angels?" She sung in a mellifluous voice. It was only fair; she had headphones over her silvery hair, maybe she was humming to a song. If the headphones on this girl were not bizarre enough, than a certain stranger in my room was definitely not inconspicuous.

At first I had the mind to piss myself; a girl with silver hair, silver eyes, and silver wings. I was contemplating whether to bolt out of the door and down the stairs, out in the cold to sanity, or rather insanity, but the coldness was keep my best at best: ignore the creepy silver-winged girl.

"Andy." She hummed my name and my strained, red eyes whipped to meet her silvery shining ones lit up with a smile. I admit, this was the first time someone—or whatever something she was—said my name in such a...nice way.

"Hah! I knew it! You are the right boy. Good," she sweetly hummed as she floated about.

You’d wonder why I wasn't freaking out as badly as a sane person should have. It's partly because the girl was obviously no harm, judging by her lack of evil aura emitting or any trace of venom in her voice, (although maybe her strange happy-go-lucky attitude was an issue; as to how she knew my name, that was another) the other reason was the feeling of warmth and light emanating from her which to me was irresistible and undeniable.

Her silver wings outstretched and she held out her arms. I got a good full look of her. Minus the wings and rare coloured eyes and hair, she could've been a normal teenage girl, my age, really pretty. Really weird.

"You want warmth." She stated rather than questioned, and before I could utter a protest in response, her wings had elongated and engulfed my body into hers and she whispered "sleep" into my ear in which I responded by holding her petite form and drifting into a soundless slumber I had long since been without.

Let's hope that whole whacky experience back there was a consequence of me somehow dying in between Monday morning and tonight. There's no way this girl could be real...no way her wings are actually...touching....me.........

"Andy, Andy," she sung, and as I groggily opened my eyes to gaze at her glowing, brightly lit smile I realized her voice was quite high. Too high for my ears to take as I adjusted and sharpened my senses.

I slid myself out of her embrace and noticed a wire was wrapped around my wrist leading up to headphones on my own head, matching hers. There was no music sounding through mine.

Looking up ambiguously at the silver-winged girl she grinned widely and unwrapped the chord, taking off the headphones, happily humming a soft tune.

"W-what are you doing here?" I asked in a croaky voice, unaware that my apartment room seemed less of a pig-sty and more of a cozy nest. "D-did you clean up?"

Here was a silver stranger, who I'm not even trying to throw out of my apartment, and she cleans it? What kind of stranger slash angel thing does that?

"Andy, I've been sent to you because you feel like your life is going nowhere, correct? Therefore, I've been sent as your guardian angel. Please take care of me," she smiled kindly, though if her almost incomprehensive words were true, then isn't she taking care of me?

"Guardian angel? You think I'd take you for real with your music, costume, dress-up get up. Please, I'm not an idiot," I huffed hoarsely and realized as I scrunched my nose up that I, in fact, smelled hardly nice at all.

"Yuppers, I'm Andy's Guardian Angel. Please do not think you are an idiot. You're quite intelligible," she smiles and it’s the smile that gets me off the floor and to the bathroom. I felt queasy.

I took off my shorts and turned on the shower while pulling down my pants and standing in my boxers.

"Andy, I've been informed that you need to get you life straightened. Please hurry up and shower so you can attend school," she whisked in and out like me in just my boxers was something she saw every day.

This silver-winged angel was starting to get annoying. Did she think I was going to take her seriously when she dressed up like some wannabe teenage girl with her skirt, high socks and whatnot? Those headphones were definitely bizarre; what kind of music does an apparently fledged angel listen to?

"Andy, what do you do after school? Andy, do you at least have any acquaintances? Andy, do you have a girl that is more than a friend. Is the term 'girlfriend'?"

The whole time I was walking to school, she was trailing behind, twirling her incredibly long headphone wire around her finger while pointing daggers of questions at the back of my head. If she thought I was going to turn around and answer, she was dead wrong. I wondered momentarily if should I ask why the wire is so long and it just leads back to her? Bee-zar.

"Andy's current foster parents aren't taking care of him properly," she suddenly said, not a question, more of a statement, but who the hell was she talking to?

"Mandy's current foster parents don't know she's run away as of yet." She stated once more. Who the hell was Mandy? I know no Mandy.

"Look if you're trying to get my attention, at least walk like a normal person and I'd really like it if you shut up for one damn second!" I barked as I whirled around on her. She looked down at me with big silver eyes—I thought she might cry—then put her feet on the path walk and looked down in shame.

"Andy? Who're you talking to?" A girl my age questioned in front of me. I looked at her and noticed then that she said my name, which means she must know me. I don't recognise her...

When I looked back there was no sign of the silver-winged angel.

"Um, no one. How'd you know my name?" I said, not meaning to sound snobby, but she smiled despite the certain—maybe permanent—ugly look on my face.

"Oh... I've seen you around...in school," she smiled. Weird, cause I've never seen her.

"Well, I'm Mandy. We're the same. I hate my foster parents."

How the...?

Before I knew it, this Mandy girl worked her way into my life and I actually started to like her. She was spontaneous, daring and sweet at times. I couldn't help but feel the silver-winged Angel fading from my thoughts and this girl filled them up.

Nightmares.

I could never have a single dream without something ominous covering my visions.

"Andy, if you want, I can share with you my peace," she said and held out her hand, waking me up from my cold sweaty self, my eyes peering at this beautiful light.

This was the first time since meeting Mandy that the silver-winged angel has been so close to me.

"Peace?" I questioned in perplex but she just smiled. Even I thought myself, that she was angry with me kind of ditching her for some other fostered teen.

"Come closer..."

We were right up against each other, and when I felt like I was the safest I could ever be, something was placed on my head, realizing it was another pair of headphones, I looked into her silver eyes and felt something stir inside me.

"Feel exactly what peace is."

And peace felt so good. Like indulging on your favourite treat, or flying through the air, high and higher, swinging on a swing. I could feel freedom, taste it even. I felt safe.

So many emotions swirled in my heart; all I could do was let my Angel rock me in her arms in a world full of peace, her gentle, soft as a snowflake kiss touched my forehead and I fell into a black oblivion where her, her light and her silver wings were the only things protecting me from the nightmares.

After that rather peaceful experience, I knew something was wrong with my heart. Emotionally, that is. I could feel it, the pangs, the wrenching, the churning, and the aching. And for her, the silver-winged Angel. These feelings could not be ones of...love. Not towards an Angel, not towards her.

I let Mandy occupy my time. We went out together, movies, dinner, lunch, sticking together in school. It was weird, I knew my Angel was always hovering behind, but lately her paleness and lack of enthusiasm had me worried. I was going to confront her when we got home today, but fate had the day take another turn.

"Wanna go have dinner tonight? I know this awesome place, my friends told me the food was divine!" She said happily. How could I say no?

So we went to dinner, all was fine, up until the night of departure.

"I had a great time," she whispered.

"Yeah, me too," I smiled, raising my brow as to why she was acting weird.

"Listen, Andy, I..." she trailed off and almost refused to look me in the eyes when her head snapped up and suddenly, her lips were closer than they had been just a second ago.

"Ma—" I choked back on words as a wire—headphone wires?—wrapped around my neck and pulled me away.

Mandy watched with confusion, not doing anything with a hypnotized look in her eyes as I was dragged away by invisible head phone wires

"What do you think you're doing!" I cried, gasping for breath and she let me go.

"I was protecting you. Fate has another path for you," she stated plainly.

"Fuck fate!" I cursed and her eyes widened, then narrowed. I've never seen her like this, so forceful and quiet, and I was getting aggravated by her sudden pull away from my life then sudden jump back in just to take me away from Mandy who was such a...nice person! (Up till now I couldn't even think with my mind ignited with anger).

"I don't understand why you're angry... I've been looking out for you this whole time, trying to tone it down because you always get annoyed when I do something to your dislike! You had plans to talk to me just before and this should've ended then," she murmured and it added oil to the flame as my fury raged.

"I don't get you! You haven't been there for me lately, Mandy has! I mean I get you're an angel or whatever, but you don't just go and do something like that in front of someone else! Sometimes, I really just...ugh, I hate you! You're making my life more worse! You're right, this should've ended then. Just leave!" I screamed at her, and for the first time, she took of those headphones off her head and dropped them to the floor.

"Okay," she whimpered and when she looked up with her big bright eyes staring into mine, I could finally see the glistening tears flowing down her face. "Fate will be working with you in due time, Andy."

How could I have made an angel cry?

Before I could breathe another word, she had vanished into thin air, leaving nothing behind but a silver feather and her strange words about fate, me and in due time.

It's been a while. Six months to be exact, since my silver guardian angel girl left. Our parting was on bad terms and I couldn't help but feel guilty every second of everyday. I couldn't even answer Mandy's words when she told me one night that she loved me.

"Andy?" A silky voice broke through the silence and their hot breath touched my frozen neck.

Straining my neck, with the moonlight providing light I saw silver strands and the same shining eyes full of love.

"Silver...?" I whispered so softly I hoped she hadn't heard it because my vision blurred and instead of silver, I saw auburn and blue eyes; Mandy.

"What was that?" She replied, a bit louder, as if she knew I didn't say her name.

"Uh, Mandy, what is it?" I sighed, for the first time in ages, wanting to cry.

Mandy and I had gradually been spending even more time together after my Angel left—she didn't remember anything from when we departed that night when our conflict broke out. We were going out, according to Mandy. It was slow at first but then she started sleeping over randomly and taking me out on 'dates' and trying to kiss me when she knew my lips were vulnerable. We weren't doing anything more than that, but I felt like I just couldn't be with her wholly because it was true... apart of my heart really belonged to that beautiful girl who filled my dreams with joy and her forgiveness, while on the outside, my life was a perpetual nightmare and she had never forgiven me.

"You don't love me, do you?"

I found a letter, a silver tainted letter, I knew it was from her.

Dearest Andy,

I know you've been angry with me lately and I couldn't tell you that if you didn't believe in me that I'd leave, because you wanted it to be so. I...I shouldn't say this because I'm not sure I believe it myself. I fell in love. As forbidden as it is...I couldn't help but fall for a beautiful boy. You, Andy, my love, I love you and I always will. Even when you're angry at the world, or at me, you'll always be the same boy with a kind heart that I've watched over since. My feathers are falling and I'm failing this test...but even though I know even if I told you, you probably won't care, I do care. I care so much for you...

Believe me, Andy, if not anything else, you're life will get better, but only if you put in the effort. Do it for me Andy, know you're not alone. My time is near and you'll probably banish me...but I don't care. I love you, Andy.

Don't ever forget you're not alone. Fate is working with you, Andy.

Love from your Angel, Silver Wing.

I didn't even know tears were running down until a wet blob appeared on the white-silver paper in my hands. Her words "fate is working with you..." Just like her mysterious last words she spoke before I...banished her.

Quickly wiping the tears away, I placed the letter next to her silver feather in solitude on my side table and sat for what felt like an eternity, thinking what if things had gone differently...what if...

I love you too, my Angel, Silver Wing...

Had it not been for that silver-winged girl, I'd probably be the same fuck up I'd been when I started out. She was too happy-go-lucky and I was so not. She was too smiley and all I could show her was the lines on my face, looking sort of ugly as my lips were pulled down into a frown. I'd shouted and screamed at her and she left, because I said to. Maybe if I didn't take her for granted and I'd noticed that her feathers were falling and her skin was paling, maybe then I could've saved her, maybe I could've had her.

My angel, my Silver Wing, I'm so sorry.

Three days later

Mandy and I had broken up; that was three nights ago. I just couldn't give her my heart and she'd never understand why. I'd blame the guilt, or the letter. Three years of nothing and I finally find that letter than explained everything, all she did, for me because of me.

But today I found that maybe my Angel had been too correct. Fate had been working with me.

The Monday night I saw her again, the day I saw my Angel, my heart felt whole and I had been filled. Nostalgia hit me hard.

She was checking out the new CDs on the new released section of the music shelf when I spotted her. I could see her, my eyes weren't lying to me. I could see her body, her hair, and when she turned around, I could see her eyes, her skin... oh her skin how I wanted so much to touch right this moment.

"Silver?" I breathed as loudly as a lion could roar, it seemed, but I had only called her when her eyes averted to mine in confusion.

Her hair was a strawberry blonde—how had I seen silver?—and her eyes were a pretty pale blue shade—that was almost pale grey.

"Uh..." I was lost in her eyes, contemplated if it really was her. No wings, no headphones... just a girl.

Same features, but different...everything.

"How'd you know my name?" She spoke, and I realized her voice and tone was slightly off Silver's mellifluous one.

"Um...I just....um...." I stammered, trying to find words as I looked at everything about her, seeing my Silver–winged Angel.

"Do I know you?" She stared back, eyes just as wide, her mouth slightly parted and her lips...her lips so much like my Angel's, I wanted to kiss.

"No," I finally coughed. "You probably don't. My name is Andy."

"Andy? ...I like it. My name is Silver, but you already knew that."