The Irony Of Your Perfection

"Hello Zack!"

When he squints, Zack can make out Jack Barakat waving wildly and sporadically in his direction. Zack blushes and waves to the skunk haired boy shyly before walking quickly towards the music room. But before he can even get his hand on the doorknob, Jack is by his side and throws an arm around his shoulder.

"Hey man."

Zack looks at his feet.

"Hi."

"So you wanna come over tomorrow?"

Zack shrugs, "I don't know. Maybe." he mumbles.

"Come on! It'll be fun! Plus there's someone I want you to meet. I've known him forever. He's like... my best friend, aside from you of course."

Zack shrugs again. "I don't know. I'll ask my mum."

"Alright. See you tomorrow then." Zack opens his mouth and then shuts it again, quickly. Jack knows him too well. Zack won't say yes or ask his mum, and therefore Jack will call and ask his mother if he can go over. Of course she'll say yes. In fact, she'll be ecstatic and make him go. She says that he doesn't get out much.

As Jack prances away, Zack mumbles some obscenities in his direction and opens the door and slips into the music room.|||

Zack is lying in his bed, the fan rotating around the room on full blast. Apparently the AC conked early this morning. It's about 98° in his room but it feels as if it's 600 fucking degrees in the tiny bedroom.

His eyes are closed and he's wearing nothing but his blue striped boxers.

An annoying buzzing noise is coming from his nightstand, but he's lost in his own world at the moment, and wonders where it's coming from.

Ten minutes later, it's still buzzing. Zack's eyes pop open and he turns his head and sees his phone vibrating violently against the hardwood.

"Eurg..."

He grunts in effort to reach it and swipes it from the top of the nightstand. He opens it and it says, One New Text: jack. b.

Opening it, he reads, com early 2 my house so that u cn meet my frend. lyk now.

Zack cringes at Jack's horrific grammar and checks the time. It says that it's 12:06 in the afternoon. He's supposed to go over at four. He presses "Reply".

Can't. Mum says that I can't go.

He places it gingerly on the sticky covers and goes back to closing his eyes. The bed vibrates a minute later.

plz? u dont want me 2 call ur mum.

You're an ass. Don't you dare.

Not five minutes later, the land-line rings. Zack bolts up and runs down the stairs, just as he reaches the kitchen, he hears, "Hello?"

"Fuck..." he mutters, running back to his room and locks the door. He shuts the curtains and flops back down on the bed. He hears his mum laugh and then someone is coming up the stairs.

"Honey?"

Zack grunts in reply.

"Jack wants you to go over! Go!"

"NO."

"Jack, he doesn't want to go... Yeah... Oh I don't know..."

She's STILL on the phone with him!? What!?

"Alright, I'll try that... Yeah... Okay... Zachary Merrick, you'd better go or I'll come and ask your father to take down your door. Then you won't have any privacy. Plus I'll take your Xbox, guitars, and your iPod away."

An animalistic wail is building up inside of Zack, and it's just waiting to burst forth, but instead, he just grunts again. "That's not fair!"

"Just go, it's not that bad."

"Mum! I'm not good at socializing at social gatherings. You know that!"

"Then here's your chance to- Oh sure. I'll let you go now Jack. He'll be there. Trust me." he hears a small beep of the phone hanging up and then she continues. "Just go Zacky. Please? Besides. It's good to get out of this house. It's too hot."

The temptation of getting into an air conditioned home is too much, as well as not having his Xbox, iPod, and door taken away.

"Fine." he hisses, "But you owe me."

"For sitting there for ten hours of labor, I think you owe me. Now get out of here."

Scowling, Zack gets up and goes into his bathroom, taking a quick cold shower and then throws on an old wife-beater and cutoff jeans. His hair is messed up, so he jams a beanie onto his head. Slipping on his Nike's, he grabs his keys, iPod, and phone and starts downstairs.

His mother stops him on his way out. "Honey, you're not really going out like that, are you?"

He looks down at himself.

"Um, yeah I am. It's so fucking hot outside, I'm not wearing anything else."

"At least something decent. Like a t-shirt? And watch your language." she scolds sternly.

"Whatever. And no, I won't. Just... you want me gone, I'm leaving. Okay? Bye."

She gives him a look but shrugs. "Alright fine. When you get to Jack's house, call me to tell me what time you'll be home. Alright? Your dad and I will probably go out tonight, so you have your keys, right?"

He nods and kisses her cheek and then leaves, shutting the door securely behind him. When it's summer, Zack wishes he had a car. When it's winter, Zack wishes he had a car. Now its summer, so Zack wishes that he has a car... still.

Rolling his eyes, he trudges down the four blocks to Jack's home. There's three cars parked in the driveway. One belongs to Jack, one belongs to his mum, and the third... well... Zack's never seen it before. He figures that it probably belongs to this... "Mystery Friend" that Jack was talking about yesterday.

When Zack gets to the door, he raises his fist to knock on the door, but instead it flings open and Zack accidentally knocks on someone's face.

"Ow! Stop that!" yelps someone, covering their face. Zack's eyes widen, and he gasps.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry!" he says, touching the person's shoulder. Suddenly, they perk up and Zack thinks that, "This definitely isn't Jack Barakat."

"Hi there! I'm Alexander Gaskarth, but you can call me Alex, or 'Lex, or 'Lexi or whatever. I'm Jack's like... best friend. Well, besides you of course, cause he talks about you all the time to me. I'm gonna go to school with you guys soon since I moved and stuff. I just moved here from Baltimore because my parents thought that we should and it'd be cool and stuff to go see Jack again ‘cause we grew up together and we've known each other since we were in diapers and stuff. You must be Zack Merrick, right? Yeah, you must be, cause he said you had muscles and tattoos and a nose ring and brown hair an-"

"Whoa 'Lex. Calm down man." Jack says, laughing and looking at Zack.

Zack has a, "Wtf?" expression on his face.

Jack grins and tugs both boys inside the house. Zack says a quick hello to Ms. Barakat as she walks out the door, probably to go shopping.

They go downstairs to the basement and they sit down, Jack's hopes to play video games and talk. Zack sits on the couch and examines Alex closely. He has brown hair with streaked blonde. It's messy, and looks like it hasn't seen a hairbrush in three years. He's wearing a yellow v-neck and grey skinny jeans.

Alex runs over to the television and turns it on along with the Xbox.

"Come on guys! Let's play Halo!"

Jack grumbles. "We always play Halo though."

"What about Halo: ODST?"

"'Lex, that's like, practically the same damn thing. Except it's stupider."

Alex giggles. "Fineeee. What about you Zack? Whadd’ya wanna play?"

"Umm...."

"L4D2?"

Zack perks up. "Sure."

Alex shouts a quick, "Hooray!" and slips the disk into the game console and throws Zack a controller.

Two hours later, they're still at it. Alex is shouting and screaming, "Oh my god! There's a Charger. THERE'S A CHARGER. GEDDIT OFF ME ZACKY." he hollers waving his limbs wildly in the air. Zack is muttering profanities, cursing at Alex. Jack is passed out on the couch.

"What the fuck man!? This is what you get for running off on your own you idiot. Karma Charger bitch." hisses Zack, stabbing himself with adrenaline and speeding off to find Alex.

By now, Alex is half dead and incapacitated. "I'm incapacitated Zack! HURRY. IT'S KILLING ME."

Suddenly, Alex's screen goes dead and in big bold words, it says, "YOU ARE DEAD." just as Zack finds him. A limp Ellis is dead on his screen, and Alex folds his arms across his chest. "You jerk."

Zack snorts in reply and attempts to finish the entire campaign. Alex is pouting beside him, yelling and screaming in his ear. Finally, Zack presses pause and throws down the controller, slapping a hand over Alex's mouth.

"Do you ever shut up!?" hollers Zack.

Alex's eyes bulge in effort to continue speaking but he shakes his head no. Zack rolls his eyes and then yanks his hand away from Alex's mouth when Alex kisses his hand. "What the fuck is wrong with you!? You're just as obnoxious as Jack is."

Alex grins cheekily. Normally, these things would offend people, but Alex is abnormal. "You've got issues." mutters Zack.

"I'm only obnoxious to certain people." says Alex, looking thoughtfully at Zack. Zack shifts uncomfortably under his gaze and mumbles,

"Oh, like who?"

"Like people like... you. People I actually like. And if I annoy you extra, that means I really do like you. A lot.... Knock knock." asks Alex randomly.

Zack's eyes widen. "You're crazy."

"Just answer it. Holy begeezers. Go on."

Zack sighs and runs a hand through his short brown hair. "Um, who's there?"

"Lettuce."

"Lettuce who?"

"Lettuce be friends!" shouts Alex, getting up and running over to Zack and sits down in his lap and looks up at him. "Pleaseeeee? I really like you."

Zack raises an eyebrow, and his nose flares. "You're insane."

"No I'm not. Really. But can we? Please? We'll be best friends like me and Jacky."

"It's best friends like Jack and I." corrects Zack.

"Okay. We'll be best friends like Jackary and I." Alex stares up at him with wide and wondering eyes and pouts.

Even Zack has to admit it's adorable. He finds himself actually kind of liking the kid's obnoxious behavior. He plays with the hem of Alex's shirt and looks at the guy sitting in his lap.

A small smile is tugging at Zack's lips and Alex giggles and pokes Zack's cheek. "Please be my friend? It'll be sooo cool! And we'll play Left 4 Dead all day long! I even promise that I'll never go off on my own ever again so we can beat the campaign all the way through!"

A smile breaks it's way out onto Zack's face, and he sighs, defeated. "Alright. I'll be your friend."

Alex cheers childishly and leans up, kissing Zack's cheek.

A blush sweeps across Zack's face, and he turns away shyly. He has to admit, the kid is too cute for his own good, and he's incredibly good looking, it's ridiculous. Especially when he's yawning, like right now.

Alex lays his head on Zack's chest and closes his eyes, snuggling up to Zack. Zack looks around for help, but seeing that Jack's completely passed out, he has no one. "You're comfy." mumbles Alex into Zack's chest.

Zack's ears turn red.

Alex looks up a couple seconds later, and then takes Zack's arms and puts them around his own waist and then pushes Zack so that he's leaning against the couch, pecks Zack's mouth, and then snuggles right back up as if nothing ever happened.

Zack thinks that he could get used to this.