Lullabies

I didn’t bolt out the car once it stopped like I usually did. Deryck put his arm around me and walked us to class. “Bye guys.” I said kissing Mark and Jonah on the cheek.

“Hey don’t I get a kiss?” Deryck asked. “But you already gave me one.” I said. “Yeah, but you didn’t give me one.” He complained.

I blushed as I stood on the tip of my toes and kissed his nose. He wrapped one of his arms around my waist and carried me to class. “Ow” I said as I felt the pressure against my bruises.

“Sorry I didn’t know that would hurt, but then again you are super delicate like a porcelain doll and beautiful like one too.” He mumbled to himself.

“Thanks.” I said smiling. He smiled back. “Don’t let anyone tell you, you aren’t and if they do it’s because they are lying jealous baboons my dear little teddy bear.” He told me and lightly poked my nose with his finger.

Deryck dropped me off at my first class then left not knowing the danger he would be putting me in.

“Hey Mouse how are you?” Trevor asked coming from behind me then shoving me against the desks. Nobody was in the class yet. “I see you and new kid have gotten real close. Well that’s gonna cost you.” He growled in my ear as he leaned over my crumpled body against the desks.

The bell rang. “Get in your seats everybody.” My teacher ordered as she entered the classroom. I sat down in the middle of the room. Trevor sat beside me and started his enjoyment and my hell.

By the end of class I knew my eyes would be red from holding back the tears from the harsh words Trevor was telling me. He wouldn’t stop insulting me or putting me down. After a long time you’d think I’d get used to it but no each time his words cut deeper and I believe them more and more.

Maybe if I didn’t drive off that day with Jonah and Mark, maybe if I stayed with Creg and known something was wrong.

I guess I know why my parents loathe me and are disgusted by my presence. I truly am a monster and I don’t deserve happiness. I don’t deserve the amazing friends I have.

When the bell rang I bolted out the door with Trevor right on my tail. Once we were out in the hall I stopped and turned to face him.

“You’re right.” I whispered. Trevor’s mouth twisted into a smile. “Really about what?” He asked.

“Me.” He was cackling and tears were clouding his eyes from laughter. He grabbed my arm roughly and held me against the lockers. He looked me in my eyes and shoved his lips onto mine.

I felt his warm tongue invade my mouth and my personnel space. Grabbing my wits, I pushed him back and slapped him across the face.

Turning to leave I saw Mark looking at me with his jaw dropped but humor filling his eyes. Deryck came from behind and gave me a hug and glared at Trevor. “You ever touch her again I’ll fucking punch you.” Deryck growled.

Trevor’s face was red from anger. “You can have her she’s a useless piece of trash and she looks like one to.” He spat in my face, literally.

Deryck let go of me and punched Trevor right in the eyebrow. That’s when fists started flying and blood began to spill. I was so scared I lay on the floor crying and whimpering.

Jonah got to me quickly and hugged me in a tight embrace as we leaned against the locker floors.

The hallway was packed and no teachers were arriving on scene. I knew this fight was because of me, because of my hateful ways.

Finally Jonah had, had enough of seeing me cry and ripped them apart. “Get the fuck away from each other.” He shouted tugging them away. Mark picked me up and carried me out of the school grounds and to a nearby fast food place.

“Yummy yummy food.” He said handing me a tray of fries and a milkshake with a hamburger on the side. I smiled up at him. “Thanks.”

He smiled back in response. “That wasn’t your fault Ada, I know what you’re thinking but it wasn’t. It was Trevor’s for bullying you. Why didn’t you tell us he was treating you like that? That’s why you have all those bruises isn’t it?” Mark started shouting.

He knew about the bruises? How did he know my thoughts?

“Ada it’s quite obvious, it’s so easy to see when you put yourself down. You get this grave look like the one you had when Creg died. Also most of the time when we touch you, you wince like as if you had a bruise so that one was really a wing-it type of thing.” He said.

I stayed silent and finished my burger then I decided I should tell him some things. I don’t necessarily have to tell him about my parents but everything else would be fine maybe even my parents.

“Mark you’re right but please listen to me and don’t interrupt.” He nodded at my conditions.

“Ever since Mark died everyone has been treating me different. It hasn’t been just Trevor I’ve been bullied by for the past year, not only by my classmates but by my own parents too. I’ve been beat, bruised, and cut, but you know what it’s alright because I deserve it. I deserve to be punished for not stopping Creg when I knew something was off, when I knew something seemed wrong.

“Mark I don’t deserve you or Jonah or even Deryck. You guys are the only good things in my life right now and I don’t want to taint you three with my malicious-nous. Please Mark just leave me I know you guys would be better off hating me and ignoring me like everyone else does.” I got off the vinyl seat and sprinted away in no hopes of returning back.