Time to Change

While Alex was showering the next morning, Eli didn't move from her spot on the couch. She was still enveloped in the warmth that Alex left behind and wished she didn't have to move. She had the best night of sleep in years and she wasn't ready for Alex to leave yet. She desperately wanted tog o on tour with him—being able to see him every day sounded amazing. But she was an adult—she knew the best course of action was to find a stable job.

But whenever Alex was involved, what was expected was rarely what happened.

As her thoughts drifted back to William—the man she used to call 'dad'—she couldn't help but want to talk to someone about it. Alex had said no regrets and Eli had none, but she couldn't help but think that it could've been said a different way. She reached for her cell phone that was lying on the coffee table and dialed a number for the first time in months—home.

”Hello?”

“Hi, mom,” Eli said quietly. She hadn't talked to her mother since December—and then it was a cursory 'Merry Christmas' and a two minute conversation about the weather. Eli loved her mother, she did, but their relationship went from loving to strained to non-existent following Gabe's death.

”Eli, oh my—How are you?”

The cheerful tone in her mother's voice threw her off. It was not something she was used to—the hard-edge tone was one, the clipped inflection was gone. The last time she had heard her mother this happy was before William left. “I'm well, mom. How are you?” And this time, she was actually curious.

”I'm doing great, Eli. How are you?”

“Mom, are you on something?” Eli asked. And, okay, her mother didn't do drugs. Hell, she didn't even drink. At least, nothing that Eli could ever remember. But she was confused and it was the first thing that came to mind.

Her mother laughed on the other end. ”No, silly, I'm just...happy for the first time in a long time.”

“Why?” And this time, it was out of curiosity as well.

”Well...I met someone.”

“You have a boyfriend?” Eli asked, and she couldn't help but smile.

“Who has a boyfriend?” Alex asked, walking into the living room. He was drying his hair with a gray towel—one that was a twin to the one slung low across his hips.

Eli's eyes widened as she held her phone against her leg. “Go get some clothes on!” she whispered—that was not something she wanted her mother to hear.

“No,” Alex protested, his signature smirk in place on his lips. “I think you like seeing me naked.”

“I think you're an idiot,” Eli told him, still whispering. “It's my mom.”

“Hi, Momma Carter!” Alex yelled with a smile.

Eli groaned and lifted the phone back to her ear.

”Eli? Who's that man I hear that has to put clothes on?”

Eli rolled her eyes. “It's just Alex, mom. He just showered and needs to go get dressed,” she explained.

”That boy always loved being naked growing up...”

Eli laughed loudly—that was no surprise.

”What's he doing over there? I thought he was on tour.”

“He stopped by to see me graduate yesterday.” And as Eli said it, she wished she could take it back. She clamped a hand over her mouth and shook her head.

“You okay?” Alex asked, walking back into the room—this time wearing tight black jeans and a white v-neck.

Eli nodded.

”Graduation? You never told me about your graduation, Elinski.”

“It doesn't matter, mom,” Eli told her. “That's not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“You never told your mother?” Alex asked, sitting down on the couch next to her.

Eli slapped his arm and rolled her eyes. “Shut up, Alex.”

”What did you want to talk to me about?”

“I...saw William yesterday,” Eli told her. Band-aid approach was always the best, right?

”You did?”

“He's apparently dying or some shit. Or about to go to prison,” she said carelessly with a shrug.

”How are those two related?”

“Well, he's been accused of domestic abuse,” she started. “Then he came to my graduation saying he wanted to make things right.”

”Oh goodness. Did you hear him out?”

That question threw her off for a minute. “Kind of. Only, not really. I don't really care about what he has to say,” she answered honestly. Though she was getting sick of defending her choices.

Alex reached over and grabbed her hand. Okay, that was just their thing.

”What if he died tomorrow, Eli?”

“Then he'd be dead and this conversation would be pointless,” she snapped.

”You'd regret it, Eli. You know you would. I know you blame him for Gabe's death, but you don't want to lose him on bad terms. You have to go talk to him.”

And, okay, the rational side of her mother that she had thought she missed had resurfaced. And, in this case, she kind of wished it hadn't. “Should I?”

”Closure, Eli. I forgave your father a long time ago. Maybe it's time to change so you can forgive him, too.”

“Okay,” she whispered. “I'll talk to you later, mom. Love you.”

”I love you, too.”

Eli hung up and set the phone back on the coffee table. Sucking in a deep breath, she stood up, Alex's hand falling from her own. She stretched, letting out a sigh when she heard her back crack.

“You okay?”

She nodded. “I'm gonna go change.”

“Where are we headed?”

Eli smiled, glad he automatically included himself because she would definitely need him there with her. “To find William.”

+

Eli hated the smell of hospitals—to many cleaning products overwhelmed her senses. She kept a tight grip on Alex's hand as she maneuvered through the cancer ward. Her heart broke a little more with each step as she saw the children of the ward laughing and playing. When she found room 206, she stopped outside and sucked in a deep breath.

“Do you want me to wait outside?” Alex asked.

Eli nodded slowly. “I think I should do this one on my own.”

“Okay,” Alex said. And he understood. He kissed her quickly, a little reassurance for the both of them. “I'll be right outside the room if you need me.”

“Thank you,” she whispered before taking the plunge and walking into the room.

Her heart dropped to her stomach at the sight in front of her. William was sitting on the bed wearing faded jeans and an old Baltimore Ravens t-shirt. He was reading to a little boy who had no hair. Judging by the IV's in his arm and the ward she was in, she could only assume it was from chemotherapy or radiation treatments. The boy couldn't have been more than seven years old.

William stopped reading and looked up, a small smiling forming on his face. “Eli.”

“William,” she replied shortly, looking between the child and her father William.

William's smile widened. “You've never met Jeffrey, have you?”

“Is he your son?” she asked.

Jeffrey nodded, smiling. “He's my daddy!”

“How old is he?”

“I'm seven,” Jeffrey told her.

Eli frowned. “Is he the reason you left my mother?” she asked, fighting to keep her voice from raising.

William kissed his son's forehead and stood up, walking over to her. He gently grabbed her elbow and steered her towards the door.

Eli jerked her arm out of his grasp. “Don't touch me.”

“Let's talk outside. We'll be right back, Jeffrey,” he told his son before leading his daughter out of the room.

Eli's eyes met Alex, who took a step forward, but she shook her head. This wasn't something she wanted Alex to get sucked into.

“Eli—“

“I came here to apologize and this is what I find?” Eli asked, her voice raising slightly. “I mean, I always knew you were a cheating bastard but I didn't know that you had a son!”

“He's your brother, Eli, and he's dying,” William told her.

“No, Gabe's my brother, and he's already dead,” she snapped. “And, God, what does this say about you?! You let me continue to think that you were the one who was sick and I feel so guilty that I come here to apologize and it was all a lie?!”

“You assumed it was me—“

“And you never told me any differently!”

“I'm about to lose my son, Eli. You're going to be my only child left. I want to be on good terms with you,” William explained.

“Then maybe you should start telling the truth,” Eli told him. She was furious. She wanted to give him a second chance but he wasn't really proving that he was worth it.

“Jeffrey is not the reason I left your mother, Eli. I left her because I wasn't happy. And, yes, I met a woman, I had Jeffrey, and I was happy. We had a good life—“

“And Gabe and I didn't fit into that mix at all, did we?”

William sighed and shook his head. “At the time, no.”

Eli scoffed.

“You wanted honesty, Eli,” he told her. “If I had known that Gabe...died—“

“He killed himself, William, don't sugar coat it,” she snapped.

William sucked in a deep breath. “I would've come to the funeral.”

“You wouldn't have been welcome.”

He sighed.

Eli crossed her arms over her chest and bit her lip, finally giving in and asking the hard question: “Why were domestic abuse charges filed against you?”

William didn't flinch. “I got into an altercation with Jeffrey's mother.”

She didn't fail to notice that he didn't say wife. And for the first time, she noticed that he wasn't wearing a wedding ring. It wasn't a surprise.

“She went to slap me and I grabbed her wrist to stop her. She bruised and filed charges,” he explained. “I never hit her. Just like I never hit your mother, before you ask.”

Eli bit her lip. Maybe he was telling the truth, maybe it was a lie. But she was taking everything he said with a grain of salt.

William sighed. “Are you ever going to forgive me, Elinski?”

“I forgive you, William,” she said, her voice soft.

His eyes lit up.

“But I can't have you in my life,” she added with a one-shouldered shrug.

“You're my daughter,” William said.

“And Jeffrey needs you. Good luck with everything,” she told him. Against her better judgment, she reached over and gave him a quick hug before turning away and walking towards Alex.

And one thing she truly loved about Alex—if she was going to admit to anything involving the l-word and Alex—it was that they didn't have to say anything to know what was going on. He just knew. And he just took her hand in his and walked with her out of the hospital. Sure, he wanted to ask what happened as they walked back in silence. But he didn't.

As Eli shut the door to her apartment behind them, she finally let out a breath that she didn't realize she had been holding. “Alex?”

“Eli?”

“Does the offer still stand?” she asked.

“What offer?”

“To go on tour with you?”

Alex smiled. “For you, love? Always.”