Time to Change

“You finally joined the dark side, huh?” Lauren asked as she sat down on Eli's bed.

Eli laughed as she started throwing clothes from her dresser onto her bed (just so she could organize them before putting them in her suitcase). “Touring is the dark side now? I thought siths were...”

“Well, yes, if you're staying true to Star Wars. I meant, you know, in general, the other side,” Lauren said, attempting to sound menacing (but it didn't work).

“Oh, okay. That makes sense.”

“It's always been the dark side, though. Just wait until the boys haven't showered for a week and your boyfriend wants to get it on,” Lauren said. “Then you'll understand why I call it the dark side.”

Eli's nose scrunched up. “That's disgusting.”

“Boys will be boys,” Lauren told her with a careless shrug.

“Alex will shower regularly or we're gonna have a problem.”

“That's how you do! Make your boyfriend your bitch!” her best friend exclaimed.

Eli normally would have laughed but the subject was still, well, sensitive. Or maybe tentative was the right word. They hadn't actually discussed it yet. “He's not my boyfriend.”

“Yes, he is.”

“No, he's not.”

“Did he ask you?”

“No.”

Lauren's face fell. “Oh. Well. He's still your boyfriend.”

Eli rolled her eyes.

“What if he did ask you?”

“What if he did?” she mused, shrugging.

“Would you say yes?!”

Eli rolled her eyes. “It's not like it's a freaking marriage proposal. And he's not going to ask me anyway.” Okay, maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't—she didn't know. But she wasn't going to get her hopes up. Nope.

Lauren sighed. “Yes, he is. He is so ridiculously into you that it's disgusting. You're both in love with each other but too damn stubborn to admit it. Just fuck and get it over with already.”

Eli couldn't hide the small flush that was creeping up her neck and onto her cheeks, so she just looked away from Lauren and busied herself with packing her suitcase. “If you say so,” she told her, a noncommittal response. She didn't want to say anything else because she was too busy thinking about dating Alex Gaskarth. It was such an odd thing to digest, to think, hell, even to say. Not to say that she couldn't see it happening, because she could, but it was just...weird. They'd been best friends for so long that the transition (if it were to happen) would just be...weird.

Lauren sighed and rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Eli. Stop lying to yourself,” she muttered, before getting off of the bed and walking out of the room.

Eli took a seat on her bed, a shirt she had been in the process of rolling (because folding was too meticulous—and one could fit more clothes in a suitcase if they were rolled instead of folded) lying forgotten in her hands. A feeling of dread overwhelmed her. What if they did date? And what if they broke up? She would lose her best friend. As cliché as it sounded, that was not something she could live with at all.

Okay, so maybe her whole damn life was turning into a cliché. It was enough to turn her stomach.

“Hey, I thought this was mine.”

Eli looked up to see Alex holding onto her (okay, so, technically it was his but still) favorite Glamour Kills hoodie that she had taken from him near Christmas. “Past tense—it was,” she told him, smiling.

Alex smiled and tossed the hoodie into the suitcase.

“Alex!” Eli groaned in frustration. She pulled it out of the suitcase before rolling it up and placing it in nicely so it fit amongst the others.

Alex rolled his eyes. “I don't see why girls have to fold everything,” he muttered.

“I didn't fold it, Alex, I rolled it. There's a difference.”

“I fail to see it. I mean, they're all going in the same place.”

“If you roll them, you can fit more stuff in there,” she clarified, packing in a few more v-necks.

“It's only six weeks, Eli—do you really need all of this?” he asked.

“How much shit did Lisa take?” Eli asked, raising an eyebrow in his direction.

Alex bit his lip—he should've known Eli wouldn't fight fair. “Let's not ruin the conversation by bringing her up,” he suggested.

Eli laughed. “See? You know I'm right.”

“Yeah, yeah, if you say so,” he grumbled before walking out of her room.

Eli smiled to herself and finished packing—it didn't take too long. Once she had everything that she needed, she started carrying her bags into the living room.

“That's all?” Jack asked, looking down at her one suitcase, two duffel bags, and backpack.

“Yes?” Eli asked, confused. Hadn't Alex just told her she was taking too much stuff?

Jack smiled. “Awesome. I'll take this shit down to the bus,” he told her before standing up and grabbing her bags. “Anything breakable?”

“Pretend as if they are because if something gets ruined, Jack, I will break your face,” Eli told him.

“And I won't stop her,” Lauren added with a smile.

Jack nodded slowly. “Well, Lex, you might want to start looking for a new guitarist,” he told them with a laugh as he took Eli's bags to the bus.

“I'm just...gonna make sure that he doesn't break anything,” Lauren said before following her boyfriend out the door.

Alex stood there awkwardly as Eli rocked back and forth on her feet. They were alone in her apartment and, while it had happened many times, Alex had never felt so...awkward. “So...” he trailed off, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“So,” Eli stated, running a hand through her hair.

“Am I...interrupting anything?”

Eli looked up and cursed under her breath. Of course Jack wouldn't close the door and of course James would be standing there.

Alex took a step forward. “You should probably leave.”

James held up his hands. “I don't want to argue. I just wanted Eli to know that the charges against her father were dropped.”

“I don't care,” Eli said.

“She doesn't care, James,” Alex repeated, frowning.

“He told me you went to see him, Eli,” James said, ignoring Alex.

“I thought the circumstances would have been different,” Eli said softly. “Why did you tell him about my graduation?”

James sighed. “I've fought with my father before. It's not healthy. So I thought he should know that his daughter was graduating.”

“It wasn't your place to tell him, James!” Eli exclaimed with a sigh, running her hands over her face.

James shrugged. “It's done now.” He paused and looked around, noticing half of her things were missing. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Yes, she is. On tour with me. Is that a problem?” Alex asked, his tone challenging.

James smiled lightly. “I knew I wouldn't have been able to change your mind,” he said, mirroring a conversation they had had previously. “I hope you two are very happy together. And you might think I'm being sarcastic, but I'm not. I'm not.”

“Thanks for your well wishes,” Alex muttered sarcastically. “Can you go now? We were about to leave.”

“Yeah. I'll...see you around, Eli,” he said quietly. And for once, he didn't try to fight it, he simply walked out of the apartment with a small wave.

Eli looked over at Alex, who was mumbling something under his breath. “Are you okay?”

“Who the hell does he think he is?” he muttered. “Asshole.”

Eli smiled and walked over to Alex, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Let's just go, okay?”

Alex nodded and kissed her forehead. “Best plan you've ever had, love.”

+

Fifteen hours later, they were somewhere outside of Washington (or Oregon or...Idaho or...something) and everyone was sleeping.

Well, except for Eli.

She was sitting on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her legs, and a notebook open in her lap. She was the only one who wasn't actually used to sleeping on a bus. She had her own bunk, and it was roomy and wonderful, but she just couldn't sleep. Hence why she had retreated to the couch. That and, well, Jack's snoring was way too loud in the bunk area.

She bit the end of her pen and sighed. Maybe the list was a stupid idea but it was the only thing she could think about.

“Why aren't you sleeping?”

Eli turned around and saw Alex standing in the doorway, his plaid pajama pants low on his hips (did he ever pull them up?) and his necklaces dangling around his neck. No shirt. Not a surprise. She wasn't complaining though. “Couldn't.”

Alex nodded and walked over to the couch, lifting up her legs and sitting by her knees. He let her legs fall against his lap and he looked over at her. “What are you writing?”

“A list,” she told him.

“A list?”

“Yes.”

“Of...?” he asked.

“Of how we should proceed if...whatever is going on between us doesn't...continue to go on,” she explained. Okay, it wasn't as delicate of an explanation as she had hoped for.

Alex smiled. “You mean, if we break up?”

“You haven't even asked me out yet,” she pointed out.

“Fair enough,” Alex agreed. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

Eli sighed. “You can't just ask me out to prove a point!”

“I'm not! I'm asking you out because I'm ridiculously in love with you. As Lauren would say,” he added.

Eli ran a hand over her face. “You can't be serious.”

“I am serious. And you're in love with me too...right?” he asked.

She looked down at her notebook. “Maybe,” she muttered.

Alex smiled. “I knew it. Okay, girlfriend, so how are we going to act if we break up?” He paused. “Which we won't.”

“Ignore the list,” she said, closing her notebook.

“Nope, nope,” Alex said, ripping it out of her hands. He read over the words and laughed. “We have to share Lauren?”

“She's dating Jack! I'm not going to lose her if things get awkward,” Eli defended.

“You'll be in Baltimore for New Years but I can have Christmas?” he asked.

“Just so we don't have that awkward...running into each other thing all the time.”

Alex looked up at her. “This list is fucking stupid.”

Eli scoffed. “Excuse you.”

“No, this is asinine,” he repeated. “We're not going to break up, Eli. And we don't need a list on how to act if we do. We figure it out. We always do,” he told her.

“Well, I like lists.”

“Well, I hate it,” Alex said, throwing the notebook across the bus.

“Alex!”

“Shut up, Eli,” he told her, grabbing her leg and pulling her further down the couch. She went to protest but he cut her off by pressing their lips together.

Okay, Eli didn't need to respond anyway.

After all, this was all she had ever wanted.