Time to Change

Eli almost tripped over her own two feet as she ran into the Chipotle to meet James. He was sitting at a table in the back, busy reading the newspaper, when she sat down across from him.

“I am so sorry,” she told him again. “After my exam, I was just so relieved, and so tired, and I completely forgot. I am the worst girlfriend of all time, and if you never talk to me again, I will understand.” As she finished her rant, she simply nodded slowly, as if that was all she had to say.

James smiled, setting the paper aside. “It's okay,” he repeated, reaching across the table for her hand. He slid his warm fingers between her own. “I already called the firm and told them I was taking a long lunch.”

Eli smiled softly, a faint blush creeping over her cheeks. Okay, maybe she still wasn't used to James being so selfless (or being the suit-and-tie wearing type that she had never been attracted to before—even though he filled it out quite nicely) but she was getting used to it. “You didn't have to do that.”

“No, I did. I wanted to see you since I couldn't this weekend. You crazy college kids and your studying,” he joked.

Eli laughed. “Well, after this week, I will not be one of those crazy college kids anymore. I will be a graduate with no idea what she's doing with her future. Just like the rest of them,” she said, smiling. When, actually, she was quite terrified for the end of college—she had been a student for so long, she wasn't sure how to be anything else.

“You majored in mass comm, right?” he asked.

She nodded. “Yeah, with a minor in journalism. I'm not sure if I want to, like, write for a magazine or what, you know? I just. Even after taking all of these classes in so many fields, I still have no idea what I want to do.”

“That happens.”

“Was it a relief in any way, knowing exactly what you wanted to do, even if it wasn't your own choice?” she asked.

James thought about it for a minute. “I guess it was in some ways, because I knew I would have a job no matter what. But because of that, I never got to pursue many other classes to see what else was out there.”

“That's true,” Eli mused. She fell silent for a minute as she thought about graduation and, suddenly, she wasn't as excited anymore—she was scared. And then her stomach dropped out of her body completely when she realized that Alex wouldn't even be there to see her walk across the stage. He'd been there for every major event in her life since high school and then this one, the big kahuna, he wouldn't be there. She looked down at the table with a sigh and shook her head.

“What's wrong, babe?” James asked, tightening his hold on her hand.

“Just...” she shook her head. “I know you're not the biggest fan of me talking about Alex. But it just sucks that he won't be there for my graduation.”

“Why not?”

“He's on tour,” she muttered, shrugging.

“What does he do?”

It was then she realized that she hadn't even bothered to explain anything about Alex to the man she had called her boyfriend for a little over two weeks. “I can't believe I never told you,” she muttered. “He's in a band, All Time Low.”

James nodded slowly. “I think I've heard of them?”

Eli laughed. “You don't have to feel bad if you haven't—it's what he's wanted since high school and I'm beyond thrilled for him. I go to all of their shows when they're in the area. They'll be in this weekend. Do you want to go to their show with me on Saturday night?”

“If you want me to, I can,” James agreed, nodding.

“I want you to meet them. They're great guys,” Eli said.

“Are you going to ask Alex about coming to graduation?”

She shook her head. “No, he's busy with tour. And I do understand, I really do. I'll get over it,” she promised, smiling. “I'm gonna run to the bathroom—can you order for me?”

“No problem.”

“Thank you.”

James released her hand slowly as she stood up and walked towards the back of the restaurant. He knew he shouldn't, but it didn't bother him as he reached across the table for her cell phone and quickly typed Alex's number into his BlackBerry. He put her phone into her bag and threw the strap over his shoulder as he stood up—he wasn't about to leave her bag there when he left the table to order food.

And maybe he shouldn't of taken Alex's number. But he did have things he wanted to discuss with him.

+

James paused as he scrolled through the contacts in his BlackBerry, landing on Alex's name. He knew it wasn't his place to call Eli's best friend—but he also knew that if Alex didn't show up at her graduation, then she would be devastated. He hit the call button and sucked in a deep breath, the unfamiliar feeling of nerves taking over him.

”Hello?”

“Is this Alex Gaskarth?” And, okay, maybe he actually looked him up on Google after their lunch date. He wasn't ashamed.

”I'd ask if you're a crazy fan girl who's going to propose and offer to carry my babies, but you're not a woman. And you don't sound gay. So, yes, I am.”

James didn't hide his smile. “I don't want to marry you, I promise. My name is James and I'm Eli's boyfriend—“

”Boyfriend? Eli? My Eli?”

James ignored the tightening of his stomach at someone else referring to his girlfriend as theirs. “Yes. Eli Carter.”

”She didn't say anything about a boyfriend.”

James couldn't tell if Alex was trying to be an ass or not so he chose to ignore that as well. “Surprise,” he muttered lowly. “Look—“

”That doesn't bug you? That she never told her best friend about her boyfriend?”

“No,” James said. And it wasn't a total lie. They'd only been together for a few weeks.

”It doesn't make you feel like she's ashamed of you? That's how I would feel.”

“I'm not you,” James said, biting his lip. He didn't like this Alex fellow in the least. “I'm just calling about Eli's graduation next week—“

”It's next week?!”

James didn't bite his tongue this time. “Something she didn't share with you? How does that make you feel? Does it bug you?”

”I don't know how I feel about my best friend dating an asshole.”

“Probably the same way I feel about her having an asshole as a best friend,” James offered.

Alex surprised him by laughing. ”Good point. What about her graduation?”

“It's next Friday.”

”Why didn't she tell me?”

“She didn't want you to worry about it with touring and everything.”

”Eli's full of piss poor excuses.”

“Be that as it may, I know she wants you there. She's just too stubborn to ask you to show up.”

”She can't be so fucking stupid to think that I'd miss it. She knows I'd move the fucking planet to be there for her.”

If James had any doubts before that Alex was in love with Eli, that statement would've pushed them away. Alex was in love with her and he could only hope that Eli didn't feel the same. “Do you want me to send you the information?”

”Yes, please. And thank you for telling me since she wouldn't.”

“I'm not going to tell her I called you. I wanted it to be a surprise.” He failed to add in that as long as she didn't know, she couldn't be hurt or disappointed if he didn't show.

”Good idea. I'll be there.”

“You better be,” James muttered, more to himself than Alex, before he hung up his phone.

+

“Lauren! Why the hell didn't your best friend tell me that her graduation ceremony was next week?” Alex asked as he stalked back onto the bus after sound check.

Lauren sat up from the couch where she had been watching television. “Can you not shriek like a fucking banshee during Big Time Rush?” she asked.

Alex frowned. “You're still watching that shit?”

“It's not shit! It's amazing!”

He rolled his eyes. “Can you please answer my question?”

“She didn't think you'd be interested in going,” she said with a careless shrug.

His frown deepened and his anger was replaced with hurt. “How could she think that? I've been there for everything,” he muttered, sitting down next to her on the couch.

Lauren shrugged again. “You weren't on tour during those events.”

“But she's not that jaded, Lauren; she can't be. She knows that I would do anything for her.”

Lauren threw an arm around his shoulder. “Look, bro. You gotta see this from her point of view. You're her best friend that she rarely sees. She knows you're following your dream. She doesn't want you to put a hold on that just so you can see her graduate. She thinks it pales in comparison.”

“But it doesn't!” Alex said. “It's a huge accomplishment! There's no way in hell I could ever do it and she makes it look so easy. Does she even want me there?” he asked.

“Of course she does, Lex,” Lauren told him.

He sighed. He wanted to be there for her—he had to be there for her. She'd always been there for him. He didn't want to be that friend; the one who took and never gave.

“You love her.”

It was a statement he was getting tired of hearing and one he could no longer deny. He nodded slowly, wringing his hands together on his lap. “Am I an idiot?”

“Not for loving her, just for never telling her and continuing to date Lisa,” she told him.

“Does she know?”

“Does Eli know you want to bone her and marry her? No,” Lauren said. “But I think you should tell her.”

“She has a boyfriend.”

“She's not serious about James,” Lauren told him, rolling her eyes.

“Do you think...” Alex trailed off, shaking his head. “Never mind.”

Lauren slapped him on the back of the head. “No, no, now you have to tell me.”

Alex sighed. “Do you think there's any chance she feels the same?”

Lauren didn't reply for a minute. She wasn't used to this Alex—she had never heard him sound so depressed. Alex was the most confident guy she had ever met—almost overly confident to a degree that made her want to roll her eyes. He was so sure of himself that he could be considered arrogant. So to hear him so helpless really threw her for a loop.

“I didn't think so,” Alex said softly.

“It's possible,” Lauren told him. She would never betray her best friend's trust. “It's definitely possible.”

Alex looked over at her, his dark brown eyes wide. “You think so? You don't...think she's gonna push me away and laugh?”

Lauren shook her head. “She wouldn't do that to you. You just...gotta be a big boy and suck it up and tell her, you know?”

“Yeah,” he said, nodding slowly. “Should I...tell her at the concert or wait for her graduation? I don't want it to be cliché.”

“I wouldn't plan on a specific time, Lex. Just do it when it feels right,” Lauren told him. “As long as it's within the next two weeks.”

Alex laughed.

“You just gotta have some of that Gaskarth Confidence that everyone mocks you for.”

“It's hard to be confident when you're gonna tell your best friend you're in love with her.”

Lauren nudged him lightly. “It happens in the movies all the time. And it always works out.”

Alex sent her a look. “This isn't the movies, Lauren. I can't risk losing her. I need her in my life.”

“You're not going to lose her.”

“But what if I do?”

“You won't,” Lauren said, her voice strong. “You won't.”