Little Secrets

“Lisa?” A male voice called. What male, other than my brother and my father, would be with me on purpose?

I opened my eyes and looked around the dim lighted room, not recognizing the few band posters covering the walls and not even recognizing half of the bands names. Who would call their band Neon Trees? That was just lame and stupid.

“Thank god.” The man mumbled moving to place his hand on my face. His hand was warm and inviting, but I still wanted to know who he was and why he was touching me like he cared.

Slowly I sat up, my head was still throbbing slightly from what I guessed was hitting my head on the pavement. I groaned and clutched my head with my hands. My head hurt so fucking much right now.

“Lay back down. You look like you are in pain.”

I shook my head not listening to the guy. Instead I continued to sit up despite the throbbing getting worse. I was not staying here with a guy I didn’t know, who had me in his room. This was just getting weird and bad.

I cupped my head in my hands when I sat up and tried to stabilize myself enough to get up. I needed to get out of here. I didn’t ever want to be in the same room with a guy ever again unless I was with someone else. Last time I was Logan made sure I knew I was a fat ugly girl who didn’t deserve anyone. And I was very clear on that. Now I avoided being alone with any guy no matter what.

“Please,” he begged, his hands trying to force me to lie down, “lay back down. You are in no condition to move.”

Again ignoring his plea I pushed against him and made a move to get away. I had to get home. My mom was probably wondering about me anyway.

“I called your mom. I told her that you were hanging out with me. So please relax and no I didn’t tell her what happened. I know better than that, your mom freaks out a lot.” He assured, his hand holding onto my arms not wanting to let me go.

I yanked myself from him becoming angry now. How did he know my mom? And who the hell was he? I couldn’t make out who it was in the dim lit room and the voice was not very familiar to me. This guy was acting as though he knew me. Yea right.

“Lisa. Just rest.” He said motioning for me to lay down again now that I was close to standing.

“No.” I seethed. “I’m leaving.” Why did he want me to stay and rest anyway? It wasn’t like I was good looking enough to care about and he had touched my fatty arms!

The man shook his head, standing to block my exit. “You aren’t leaving until I am convinced that you are well enough to leave.”

“Look, I don’t know who you are or why you want me to rest here. But just let me leave. I promise I won’t tell anyone or anything, just let me leave. I want to go home.” I said taking a small step toward him, my hands balling into fists. I would fight him if I had to. Sure I didn’t have much muscle but I could kick him in the balls easily.

My words seem to freeze him in his spot, as if he was shocked or something. Smirking I bolted to the door seeing that he wouldn’t stop me. He was caught up in his own thoughts. But in my attempt to escape I had become suddenly dizzy again and felt the room spinning around me resulting in me falling in to his…arms? What?

Sometime during my fall he had wrapped his arms around me and safely held me to him, his arm wrapped around my waist securing me. I breathed and tensed up against him expecting him to drop me, no one ever held me like this and no one wanted to. They didn’t want to feel the fat on me or keep such an ugly person so close to them.

But he never let me go. He held onto me without letting me go. In fact, he wrapped his arms around me more making sure that I was as close to him as I could be.

I blinked staring at his brown shirt, taking in his cologne and started to slowly cherish the moment. My heart racing faster, unsure whether it was from fear or the excitement of the moment.

“Lisa,” he murmured into my hair, “you’re so thin, what happened?”

A wave of satisfaction hit me from his compliment, but was washed away as quickly when I realized that it wasn’t a compliment. There was something else in his voice? What was it?

“You started that stupid diet didn’t you?” It was a rhetorical question. I didn’t have to answer it if I didn’t want to and I really didn’t want to answer him. What I wanted to know was how he knew about my ‘diet’ to become beautiful instead of the fat, ugly, worthless person Logan seemed to diminish me to.

“There was no need to start your diet. I told you back in my senior year, two years ago you were beautiful as you were. You had a healthy glow to you and,” he paused his tone changing from sincere to a low growl filled with hate, “that, that Logan kid should go to hell for all the teasing he did to you and it was just words.”

Memories flowed through my head as I began to piece together who this guy, this man was who was holding me in his arms protectively was. A name and a fuzzy face flashed through my mind. Henry. The same Henry whose dream it was to go to Yale but instead went to FSU in state because his scholarships paid for most of FSU, not Yale. I remembered briefly talking to my friend after he left, but loosing contact soon after a few months.

“Henry,” I whispered lightly into his shirt unsure if he could hear me.

I earned a small chuckle. “Glad to see you finally remember me.”

We were good friends before he left for college in at the end of my sophomore year of high school. Henry had graduated, being a senior and went off to college. And now he was back. He was here holding me in his arms, worried about me and my diet. I remembered telling him about my diet after I had found a note Logan had gave me the year before.

“I wish you would have taken my words to heart when I said you were beautiful.” He whispered. Meaning “I don’t think you are beautiful anymore. But I still care for you even though you are ugly.”

I was never going to be able to please anyone ever. I minus well just die.

Henry nuzzled his nose into my hair. “But I still think you are beautiful from the inside out. I always wanted to tell you that I liked you more than a friend, but I didn’t want to kill our friendship back then.”

What? Was he really saying that and did he seriously mean it?

Slowly he pulled us apart enough so he could look down on me, taking in my face, “I still feel that way about you and I mean it when I said you were beautiful then and you are now. I just wish you were able to see it.”

My insides swelled and I swallowed feeling like pure shit. “I’m sorry.” And I really was. Had I known I wouldn’t have taken the diet to this much of an extreme even if it was making me feel better as a person, but it was doing shit for my health.

“There is no need to be sorry. Just promise me that you will at least try to get off this stupid diet. It makes me worry about you.”

I nodded, I could do that much for him, or at least I was going to try for him for he seemed to be the only guy who cared enough to look at me for more than five seconds and not in disgust.

He smiled, “I’m glad. Now let’s lie you back down.” I agreed again and allowed him to help me back into his bed.

“Do you mind?” He glanced to the bed. I shook my head and he joined me, wrapping his arms around me. “What happened today?”

I looked away not wanting to say and tell him what an idiot I was.

“I’m not going to be mad, just tell me. If I get mad I will become your slave for eternity.” He promised. And there was the Henry humor I hadn’t realized I had missed.

Closing my eyes I spoke, “I only had part of an apple today during lunch. Normally I would have eaten the whole thing but I was distracted by my friends. And the heat was too much to handle with eating so little. I became dizzy and passed out.”

I felt his head shake slightly next to me. He was disappointed. “Promise me that will never happen again. I care for you too much to have you taken away such a way. I’m just lucky I found you.”

“So am I. Thank you.” I turned to face him and opened my eyes telling myself that I would work harder to eat better for him.

“Get some sleep. I told your mom you were staying here for dinner, which I do intend on giving you after our nap.”

I nodded and closed my eyes snuggling up to him. Silently I promised myself that I would try to change for the better because Henry wanted better for me. It was going to be hard with all the work of dieting that I had gone through, but with Henry to help me I think I might be able to just do it.