I Need You But You Make My Heart Burn in Pieces

Less than half an hour later and we were parked and walking into Luke's office. He smiled at us in greeting and I sat feeling nervous. Although, I wasn't as nervous as usual, this must have been a good sign.

"So, you haven't been to see me in quite a while, what's been going on?" Luke asked.

"Well, Frankie sort of ran away," Gerard informed him, awkwardly.

If that surprised him, he sure as hell didn't show it, his face remained, calm, his blue eyes were emotionless.

"You mean, he went missing or he left?" Luke questioned.

"He left and stayed at a friend's house," Gerard explained.

Luke nodded and scribbled something, I looked around at anything, trying to avoid him talking to me, even though I knew he would, seeing as the whole reason we were here was my fault.

"Could you tell me what happened in the duration of time you were gone, Frank?" he asked. I snapped my eyes to his, finding it hard to keep looking directly at him. I looked down then looked up again.

I briefly summed up the week, changing Sara and Frankie's names, just in case, telling him about the bar and what happened and up until last night when I came back and found Gerard with Mikey and then later on when I went outside, I even added the bit about self-harming.

All through the explanation, Luke kept on nodding and writing things down, being honest, it was getting on my nerves, but I didn't say anything, I just finished what I was saying and slumped down in my chair.

There was a long, silent pause in the room as Luke looked from me to Gerard and back again.
He opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, "From the while I've known you, I have assessed all this, and to me, it seem you, Frank, are suffering from a major amount of insecurities and Gerard, I think you need- uhh…maybe some anger management will help," he finally said.

I just nodded, dumbfounded.

"And, where can we get help for Frank?" Gerard asked.

"Well, you can go to a doctor, where you will be fully assessed and then they'll write you out a prescription for uh-" he paused, "probably anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills and there are group anger management and one on one anger management classes here."
Once again, I just nodded.

Gerard thanked Luke and got up, nudging my side and pulling me up out of my seat. I followed him.

The very next day we managed to scrape an appointment from the local psychiatrist and she prescribed me a dosage of the pills Luke had told me about. I had to take one of each in the morning and one of each at night; when I first got them, I didn't want to take them but then eventually I did.

I just walked around the house all mellowed out and drugged up. I was staring at the ceiling when Gerard went for his very first anger management class, he took the one-on-one class, and when he came back; I was still staring at the ceiling.

"Frank, what are you doing?" he asked in a soft, happy voice.

I sat up startled; I hadn't realized he'd come in and I'd never heard him used that voice before.
Suddenly, I was excited and hopeful.

I sat up quickly and ran over to his side.

"So, how'd it go? Was it fun? Did you like it? How do you feel?" I fired questions at him in quick succession, hoping that he'd be the nice loving side of himself forever.

He smiled and laughed, "Frank, you're really scary sometimes."

"It's the drugs," I told him off handedly with a big gleam spread across my face, hardly caring about them now, as I pulled his hand and sat him down on the couch.

"So?" I said, "Tell me everything."

Gerard smiled again; that sweet, thoughtful smile and shifted on the couch so he was laying down, his head in my lap. Immediately, my hand went to his hair and I ran my fingers through it subconsciously as I smiled down at him.

"Well, it was fun, the lady I worked with is called Violet and she's really nice and funny-,"

"Gerard's got a crush," I giggled, interrupting him.

He scowled and blushed a bit.

"You haven't really got a crush, have you?" I asked quietly, beginning to feel anxious again.

Gerard smiled and wrinkled his, "No, Frank, unless you mean you."

I nodded, feeling reassured, "You can continue," I told him, wanting to listen to his voice.
Gerard shut his eyes, smiling, seeming to enjoy my hand running through his hair softly.

"Well, yeah, she asked me some questions and stuff, like what happens when I get angry, and then we did all these exercises that can help, like counting to ten before speaking and having a hobby that I find relaxing that I can do when I'm angry," he explained.

"Those sound like good ideas," I felt even more excited and happier. It seemed we were getting back on track; no more fights.

In silence Gerard layed happily in my lap until I started to bounce my legs up and down.

"Frank, what are you doing?" he asked, scrunching up his nose in annoyance, cutely.

"I'm bored, let's go get the guys and we can go out to Starbucks! Or to the bar!" I couldn't wait to get out the apartment. Suddenly, I felt like I'd been cooped up in there for way too long.

"Is it advisable to drink whilst on pills?" Gerard asked sitting up.

"I don't know, if not, I just won't drink, I'll buy a coffee then we can go to the bar," I jumped up and pulled on a jacket.

Gerard sighed, "Okay, just be careful, you’re already hyper enough…" he trailed off.

We climbed into the car and Gerard put the key in the ignition, buckled up and drove off. It was decided we were going to get some coffee and then go get the guys and take them to the bar.

It would be a tight squeeze in our small car, but we'd manage it; I could sit in someone's lap.
I laid my head on the car window and shut my eyes, thinking about how much happier Gerard was and how much happier that made me.

A few seconds later I felt someone shaking me and I heard my name being called.

"Frank! Wake up!" I opened my eyes and looked at Gerard.

"What? I only closed my eyes for a couple of seconds," I groaned.

"No, you didn't. It's been, like, twenty minutes. See, this is why you don't drive; you're all drugged up," Gerard smirked.

I mumbled curses, unbuckled my seat belt and jumped out the car, running into the Starbucks and running back out in quick succession.

"Why'd you get two frappuchinos?" Gerard asked me, bemused.

I shrugged, "How’s about . . . 'because I can'?" It was my turn to smirk.

Gerard scoffed and pushed the car into drive, making a quick swerve and heading off to Mikey's house. A look of confusion crossed my face; we usually went to Ray's house first, after all, his place was nearest.

"I called Mikey, he says they're all at his house," Gerard explained, understanding my confusion.

I nodded and smiled, leaning back in my seat and sipping on one of the straws from my first frappuchino.