I Need You But You Make My Heart Burn in Pieces

Gerard got to the car and opened the door then got in and started up the engine, I just stood there mulling over everything that was running through my head. Gerard sighed and got out the car then pushed me slightly into the car. We rode home in silence.

I just sat in the car and Gerard turned off the engine of the car and got out. He sighed once again and opened the door of the passenger's seat; he leaned and picked me up and out of the car, I banged my head slightly on the top of the car but I said nothing. Gerard then began to carry me up to our apartment. I gripped onto his shirt and hid my face in his shoulder. He sighed once again.

Once we got into our apartment he set me down onto the double bed and lay next to me. I just stared aimlessly at the ceiling.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"Why are you sorry? What for? It's my fault," I replied.

"No, it's my fault even if you do annoy me I shouldn't hit you," he sniffed and pulled me closer to him.

"You couldn't help it," I was crying now as I held onto him.

Gerard pulled my shirt off and lightly poked one of the large bruises on my upper chest, "You think that's a mistake?" he said sounding angry again. I cringed slightly bracing myself incase he hit me again.

"Yes," I whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said once again and held me close to him rubbing my bare back soothingly with his hand, I was still crying. Slowly I fell asleep still hiding my face ashamed in Gerard's chest.

The next day I woke up and found Gerard was no longer in the bed. I sighed, sat up properly and just stared at the wall in front of me wishing it could give me an answer. An answer to the question I don't know.

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"Morning, Frankie," I heard a voice coo from the kitchen.

I just stayed staring at the wall.

"Are you still upset with me?" Gerard asked in a hurt tone.

"No," I said simply. "I just- it's- I don't know what to think," I moaned and let tears of frustration and confusion fall down my tired, pale face.

"I'm really sorry, I know you sort of just ignored it and put it out of you're mind, what I did- but I just felt that I needed some help," he explained.

Suddenly I felt something rise in my throat. I scrambled to get out of the twisted bed sheets to run to the bathroom but I only got stuck further and fell on the floor with the sheets still wrapped firmly around me, and in my hesitation I only made it worse. Gerard came over and pulled the sheets off quickly then took my hand and pulled me into the bathroom. I leant over the toilet and was violently sick. Gerard rubbed my back soothingly, as the contents of my stomach splattered on the ceramic of the toilet. I began to feel more tears rise up as I slowly straightened up they fell down my flushed cheeks.

"Frank you look really ill!" Gerard stated.

I just looked at him contemplating the situation almost judging him. He put his hand to my forehead and looked at me concerned.

"You're burning up, you're shaking, you're pale and you're sweating," he said summing up the symptoms sighing worriedly.

I felt strangely relaxed as I stared away from him not really noticing he was talking to me. I began to get dizzy and swayed back and forth until I lost balance completely and collapsed onto Gerard. He was caught off guard and stumbled backwards slightly. I giggled.
"Gee, you're all blurry," I smiled up at him and patted his cheek with the palm of my hand.

"Frank you're sick, you're going back to bed," he said firmly.

"No, no it's okay," I giggled. "I'm just fine we've got a show today anyway."

Gerard sighed as he remembered, "You always get sick!" He seemed aggravated.

I cringed. "Don't hurt me," I whimpered. Even I noticed that I definitely wasn't myself, and I wasn't really listening to what Gerard was saying as he laid me gently down back on our double bed,

"You have no idea how hard I try not to," he whispered gently.

"Huh?" I asked as my eyes began to drift shut.

"Nothing," he sighed and walked out the room before I fell asleep.