I Need You But You Make My Heart Burn in Pieces

The next few days were just great; there was no arguments, no violence, just peace! Yet, I couldn't help but feel that Gerard was tiptoeing around me; like I was fragile. Maybe I was; maybe this whole thing was fault. Maybe Gerard hit me because I was weak and vulnerable.

Gradually, that thought began to gnaw at me over the next until I'd finally had enough. I waited until Sunday evening when I confronted Gerard.

"Gee," I snapped as I stood in front of him, attempting to get his attention. I was stood right in front of him, blocking his view of the TV.

"Can't we talk later? I'm watching," he whined roughly pointing at the TV, he was trying to look past me but I kept moving in his way.

"No, I need to ask you something," I instructed him then I picked up the TV remote in my slightly shaking hand and switched it off. Gerard narrowed his eyes.

"What, then?" he asked angrily.

I was taken aback by his tone and hesitated.

"What? Did you stop me watching TV just to stand in front of me?" he looked at me. Now he really did look angry.

But I knew I had to get this off my chest, "Is-is" I paused and drew in a breath, "Is it because I'm weak?" I gabbled, hardly making sense.

"What?" Gerard asked, still looking pretty angry.

I sighed, "Nothing; it doesn't matter anymore," I started to walk away but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me around then pushed me against the wall. I crashed into it and flew upon me, staring at me venomously as he pinned my arms to the wall. It seemed that he'd just snapped.

"Why the hell did you just waste my time for nothing!?!" he snarled.

I shook my head and opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out; I was choking on my own fear.

"I-," I started trying to make some excuse, praying he'd calm down and stop.

Suddenly he raised his fist a look of pure anger on his face; I shut my eyes tight and turned my head to the side as his fist smashed into the side of my head. I never let out a sound as I fell to the floor, I stayed a quiet as possible as he laid into me kicking my stomach and my shins. Then he stopped, I opened my eyes just in time to see him stare at me still with the same look of anger spread across his perfect face before he stormed off.

I cried silently to myself as I lay still, hoping the pain would go away quickly. I could hear him in the next room, muttering to himself, pacing loudly on the laminate wood flooring.

Eventually, I sat up slowly, looking at myself. My legs were shaking, as were my hands. In fact, my whole body was shaking, I was so scared. I got up carefully and looked in the mirror, the skin around my eye was already showing bruises and my lip was bleeding. I stumbled to the kitchen and splashed water onto my face, soothing it considerably.

Then I decided. I was going to go out, I was going to speak to Mikey. Gerard would kill me if he knew I was going to speak to Mikey. He didn't want anyone to know he hit me but I needed to tell someone.

I just had to get up the courage to go into our bedroom. I needed my phone. I slipped on some shoes and stood around in the kitchen, walking up and down, breathing in and out, and blinking the tears out of my eyes. I was incredibly nervous.

Suddenly, the door flew open and Gerard walked out. It seemed he had calmed down. I took my chance to rush past him and into our room.

I grabbed my phone, shoved it in my pocket and exited the room, hurriedly. Then I took my keys of the kitchen counter and went over to the door. I unlocked it and had it open when Gerard spoke up.

"Where are you going?" he asked in that moody, teenager tone.

"Out!" I replied before walked out the door and shutting it.

I drew in a shaky breath as I got out into the street. It was strange to be out alone; I never really went out without Gerard.

I walked around for about an hour, trying to get up to courage to go see Mikey, when I heard the familiar tune of Cars by Gary Numan playing on my phone. I pulled it out of my jacket pocket and looked at the caller ID. It said "Gee Baby <3" I sighed and pondered on whether to answer it.