He Left With No GoodBye

January ended leaving Valentine’s Day around the corner.
“Why do we always have to make something so gloomy such a great day? I mean it was a killing spree and we turn hate into love.”
“Just buy me a box of chocolates and I’ll be okay.”
“Fine but you have to go expensive on me Eric I like to be dined. The wine, chocolate and fruits with roses the works because I’m worth it.”
“Sure.” Eric stepped out of the hotel room.
Not knowing what to do next, he knew it was only a matter of time that she would leave.
Shawn had left him messages complaining, demanding that he returns.
Shawn had also told him that Skye was accepted and would be leaving.
The air cut across his face making it impossible to breathe. He enjoyed it though was now used to it feeling the crisp air surround him, no longer the warmth of someone to block it out.
Eric sat on the step leading to their door picking up the snow from the floor.
What to do, what to do. Nothing he though because he has done enough. He did this to himself feeling alone now he has to deal with it, learn again.
“Let’s leave man, just get out of this damn motel and start traveling now, get a hot winter.”
“I’m up for it let’s go.”
They had packed everything up, making sure everything was taken. Eric insisted on driving giving Bernie the chance to rest.
Before they headed on the main highway Eric stopped at his house.
“Go in Eric at least say it to her face you are really leaving.”
Turning the ignition off Eric got out of the car and made his way to the door. The television was off but the kitchen light remained on.
He paused a moment before unlocking the door. As soon as he stepped in and turned on the light she was out of her room staring at him from afar.
He didn’t know what to say to her, neither did she. The words choked in his throat.
She walked back into her room leaving the door open. Eric followed her not sure why though.
“Umm…how have you been? Are you okay here?”
She looked up at him the expression in her eyes blank.
“I’m good, trying to get ready to leave actually.”
“Where are you going?” She got up from the bed taking her suitcase out the closet to put more shirts in it.
“The city I have to move already. Don’t worry I spoke to your cousin he said this will still be your house in case you ever want to come back.” Her voice was calm with a hint of cold air. She turned around to face him.
“To let you know I didn’t shed a tear, I didn’t scream out in rage, and I do not hate you, I just left it alone did exactly what you told me to. It is like I told you before why should I fight for someone who won’t fight for me. You can take the presents I bought you Eric I won’t take it from you, everything I got you is yours.”
He stood silent, wasn’t expecting her to oblige by what he said. He wasn’t expecting her to let him take the things she bought him. He went back to the living room noticing that the tree was down.
The kitchen smelled good, she cooked for two, and he knew what that meant though. It was her lunch food that she was saving.
The fridge was still full; he pulled a bottle of Malta out, feeling his throat tighten at the coldness of it.
She came back out seeing him lean against the counter. Her heart had stopped when she first saw him enter the house and seeing him stand in the kitchen just brought it all back.
A month without him felt like a year.
She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.
He threw away the bottle, extending his hand out for her.
She came close to him but kept her hands to herself.
Lowering his hand he looked at the floor.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Are you trying to be sarcastic?” He drew his brows together feeling the frustration build.
“No I’m not, I just want to know what you are sorry for, you left I get it.”
“But why aren’t you angry at me? I slept with you, I left you the very same damn day and here you are just being calm. I’m angry, I’m angry that I did that to you and you should feel the same.”
He pulled himself away from the counter, throwing his hands in the air and pushing back his hair. He was angry at himself at her at life and his family.
“Why should I be angry at you? What good would that do for me Eric honestly? You slept with me and left me yes it hurts very badly but I get tired of crying over shit. I didn’t expect you to leave but when you did I had a feeling someone would, either you or Jeremy. So I am calm because being angry at you doesn’t change the fact that you left, doesn’t change jack shit.”
“Don’t compare me to Jeremy Skye. Get angry at me release it already dammit because I know you are angry.”
“No you are angry, now you need to put an ‘h’ to your chest and handle it because until you figure out why you left you will always be angry or hurt or what ever it is you are going through.” She had poked him in his chest. Not once had she made any type of move at him while she was angry.
He went to the kitchen picking up the bottle he had threw away, he ran a few steps up throwing the bottle at the door.
Skye had jumped at the sound of a cracking bottle.
“That is how I feel Skye. I feel like I shattered myself into so many pieces ever since I met you.”
She stood there holding herself. Looking at his chest not wanting to see his eyes.
“Why did you have to take me and make me feel bad about what I did to you?”
Skye cleared her throat.
“Because you told me I wasn’t a Sunday morning girl.” He laughed at her now, he laughed at himself.
“Do you want me to pack for you?”
“No, stop fucking doing shit for me Skye wake up, I left you and did something wrong to you and you should be hitting me.”
He took her arms shaking her, begging her to look at him.
“Why won’t you get angry show some damn emotion?”
“It would mean I’d have to break glass then, I don’t want to. Eric let go of my arms you are starting to hurt me.” He held on chanting in his head for her to look at him. When she did her eyes remained the same.
“Come back tomorrow and I will have your stuff packed up.”
He let go of her pushing her back. He was angry, tired and stressed out. Eric wasn’t ready for the drive, it was late and he felt drained.
“I’m staying.” Her eyes widened at that, not sure of what to do.
“Well look you can express something then huh?”
Eric walked out the door to get Bernie. When they both walked in the house she was still standing there, caressing her left arm.
Eric ran up to his room leaving Bernie alone.
“Are you his girlfriend?”
Skye looked at the thin pale guy that stood near her door kicking the glass to one side.
He is too thin she thought.
“His ex yes…who are you?”
“Bernie, his friend.” They shook hands while Bernie looked at the stair case wondering if Eric was alright.
“Not my place to say but he is pretty bent out of shape over what he did-
“No need for an explanation. His note was clear enough I get it; no one needs to explain to me. Sorry but he wants freedom well there is a highway he can get on and go. I’m not trying to be rude Bernie but tell him it is okay. If I am okay then he should be okay, help your self to anything I have food on the stove if you want it I’m not hungry.” She left him standing there contemplating on what to do.
He kicked open the door and closed it with his foot. The plate of food in his hands while the bottle of beer lay in his pocket.
“Why are you eating?”
“Decent meal I had since I been here okay? Besides she offered it to me so ha.”
Eric shook his head, packing up his clothes as best as he could.
“Why don’t you stay Eric get back with her, you need it, your not the same.”
“What the fuck is that suppose to mean I’m not the same?”
“Look at your fucking room man, looks half empty, clean and shit. You painted it, you never painted your rooms, so yes you fucking changed get over it.”
“Get over it….you know what she told me? She said put an ‘h’ to your chest and handle it. She told me to get over it like I’m suppose to.”
“But you act like you killed her.”
“No killed me Bernie me I fucking killed me. Meeting her, dating her I killed myself.”
Bernie found a paper on the floor, when he picked it up it was of her in different hues of red, orange and yellow.
“You are drawing again? You stopped drawing a while ago.”
“She bought me art supplies when we went to the city…was great I felt it sparking again that’s when I knew it was getting bad.”
“She’s right you do have to get over it, your still living back then man what we did was stupid we were young didn’t know shit. Fucked you over.”
There was a knock on the door, they both glanced at it staying quiet.
Skye came in holding the door.
“Eric can I talk to you?”
“I’m busy with some uh stuff and I’m with Bernie.”
“Hey it’s cool go talk with her.”
“Bernie shut up.”
“You owe me this, so I’m not asking anymore Eric I’m telling you I need to talk to you.” She didn’t know what she was going to talk about but something told her she needed to talk. She left the room going downstairs, he dropped his things and followed. She led him to the basement.
“Why down here?”
“Don’t want him to hear us. I don’t want an apology from you Eric but you owe yourself one because you’re not mad at me.”
“I am though…I want you to be angry with me.”
“Explain to me why you feel so hurt over it, this is obviously what you do anyway right? So it shouldn’t matter if you did it to me.”
She was right. He has done it plenty of times without caring.
“You helped me without knowing me, was there for me for no reason. I watched you lay in the hospital and the beeping still echoes in my ears. I care for you I don’t love you, I don’t want to. If I do then I can’t live.”
“I didn’t tell you to love me. I don’t love you either, yes you heard me correctly I don’t love you either I gave myself to someone I didn’t love. But I cared for you, and would have been there for you if you were in that bed. You like your freedom, the air in your face so if I was holding you back you should have never gotten with me.”
She sat on the sofa he had put in there, the walls were still ugly. He crouched down in front of her taking her hands rubbing his thumb over her fingers.
“But what if I did love you? What then? Would you let me leave you while I run around letting other girls touch me yet I will think of you? You aren’t going to fight for me to stay? I thought Latin girls did that sort of stuff.”
“This Latina isn’t stupid, she knows when to let go and when to grab on. You want to leave fine that’s on you but I will be in the same spot when you pass by.”
“You will wait for me?”
“No…I’m not fighting for you Eric understand that. You didn’t fight for me, you were something good that took a punch and left the ring.”
He looked at her fingers still rubbing them. Trying to take her energy to relax him self.
“Forgive me please…if you only knew what I’m going through just forgive me, hit me or something.”
She took her hand out of his and touched his face; leaning into him she kissed him on the cheek.
“If you are apologizing I will not accept. I will not hit you. I won’t feed into that Eric and you shouldn’t either.”
“What if I loved you though?”
“You don’t.”
“How do you know?”
“You wouldn’t have left me.”
“What if I did it from fear?”
She took her other hand away. Now she was becoming angry, the idea of being afraid. If he was afraid he should have said it, not lie and say freedom.
“Which one is it Eric fear or freedom? You’re playing a game that lets no one win. You don’t even know why you left.”
“Yes I do, I told you I want to breathe Skye I don’t want to be trapped.”
“Then get the fuck out already if you want air Eric! There is the damn road, leave you did it perfectly on Christmas. So silent I didn’t even know you left. Shower and all. Was and idiot to give myself to you.” She walked up the stairs going to the kitchen to find Bernie washing his dishes. She pulled him away grabbing his arms to wrap around her. When she touched his face she pressed her lips against his. The kiss intensified leaving Eric to stand there and watch.
When she pulled away she breathed in the air of her shame.
She looked at Eric.
The blood rushed to his head, it was boiling till he felt dizzy. His eyes blurred and all he could see was her kissing Bernie.
“Eric…I’m sorry I didn’t-
“I kissed him, there you go want me to lash out Eric? Well I kissed Bernie spoon full of your damn medicine.”
“I didn’t cheat on you.”
“And we don’t go out so whom I kiss is on me not you. Damn you for making me stoop to your level.” He walked up to her grabbing her by her arms, shaking her till he couldn’t see the wrong anymore.
Bernie tried to yank him off of her but it led to Eric turning around, swinging at him. Skye stepped in the middle of them both pushing Eric away. He grabbed her face.
“I did love you, I still do dammit whether you do or not I don’t care anymore.” The tears streaming down his face.
“Go to the city leave get out of way though; don’t want to even look at you. I’m staying.”
He pushed her back, causing her to fall. He ran to his room slamming the door.