A Melody, a Memory

“Keri, Melinda is calling!” Mike called the next day as I got ready to go outside to ride Quentin. Quentin was Mike’s horse, normally if I wanted to go to the winery and I didn’t want to walk or drive, I took him.

The winery dated back to the later 1800’s where my great, great, great, great grandfather moved here from France and started the winery. We still have some of the first bottles of wine from him.

“Don’t answer please.” I said still not wanting to tell anybody where I had disappeared to.

“You are only going to be here for two more days, just tell her.” He said pushing the phone – which was still ringing – towards me.

“No.” I said shoving the phone his way and turning around to leave. “I’m going to ride Quentin.” I said putting my hair up into a short pony tail and walking out the door.

I normally didn’t wear converse when I went horse back ridding but today I just said forget it.

It felt good to actually be more than 1000% sure of who I was. I didn’t have to ask anybody what I had done because I was so sure of everything. “Hey Quentin.” I said petting the horse when I had walked into the stable.

“Let’s ride around.” I said putting his saddle onto his back.

~!~

”I’m going to fall on my ass.” Brian said as he climbed onto Quentin behind me.

I was taking him around the farm and then we were going to have lunch in a spot I liked to go to.

“You won’t fall.” I laughed. “Just hold on to me.” I said as Quentin started to go.

“Does this make me seem like less of a man to you in any way?” He asked.

“Why? Because you are afraid to ride a horse and you have to hold onto me?” I asked him. “If so then no.” I laughed.

“Ok good and I’m not afraid.” He corrected.

“Ok then, I can do this.” I said making Quentin go faster and Brian holding onto me a little tighter.

“No! You can’t do that.” He laughed as I got Quentin to slow down a little.

I laughed a little and turned around to kiss his cheek. “You know I love you.”

“If you did then, you’d watch where you are going.”

~!~

I ignored the small migraine I was having as I rode around. I was also trying to ignore the fact that I was starting to think about Brian for some reason. What if I didn’t leave and I had answered the phone.

But the real question was, why was I thinking about him so much suddenly?

“Huntington doesn’t exist here.” I silently reminded myself as I continued to ride.

~!~

”I’m just saying there is something about him.” Mike said putting his hands and a glass up in defense.

I rolled my eyes. It was almost two in the morning and I couldn’t sleep so I had gotten up and decided to get something to drink, after a few minutes Mike had joined and we started to talk. During the conversation I realized Mike was becoming that defensive brother who thought that any guy was only with their sister to sleep with them.

“There is nothing about him.”

“To you. I don’t want you crying because he’s left you after you’ve slept with him.”

“How old am I again?” I asked. He was making it sound like I was back in high school and he was giving me the ‘guys only go for one thing’ talk.

“Mike, it’s all in your head.” I laughed kissing his cheek. “Good night.”

“Good night. If I hear anything then I’m coming in with a bat.” He said.

“Whatever.”

~!~

When I had gotten back Mike left a note saying that he was at the restaurant for a while. It was supposed to be his day off but of course he is married to that place.

I sighed and walked into the house and as I did my phone went off showing Melinda’s name. I sighed as Mike’s voice echoed in my head telling me to tell her where I was.

“Hello?” I asked getting ready for her reaction.

“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU! I CALLED YOU THE OTHER NIGHT AND ALL DAY TODAY AND YOU UP AND DISAPPEAR! BRIAN WON’T SHUT UP AND EVERYBODY THINKS YOU’RE DEAD!” She screamed as I held the phone away from my ear.

“Melinda, I am fine. I just went to Napa. Don’t tell anybody where I am.” I added quickly.

“Why not! Keri, Brian has been calling every 10 minutes to see if I’ve heard from you and somewhere in between Matt, Zack, Johnny and Jimmy have been to. What’s the problem?”

“I needed to go somewhere that I knew I would know exactly who I was Mel. For the past month I’ve been waking up looking in the mirror and asking myself who I was. And right now it feels good to not have to do that.” I admitted. “So please just let them know I am fine but don’t tell them where I am.”

“Ok. I’m only doing this because I know this whole thing has been hard for you.” Melinda sighed. “Are you going to be back for Zack’s party?” She asked.

“You’ll find out later, I haven’t decided. Don’t tell them that either.” I lied knowing I would be back.

My plan was to go back and not tell anybody that I was at home. Mostly because I wanted to hide and also because I wouldn’t know if I had made my decision on weather I would move back to Napa.

“Ok, just do what you need to do and come back please.”

“Don’t worry Melinda.”

“Whatever you say. Bye.” She sighed.

“Bye.”

I promised myself that by the end of my sabbatical from life, which I would have to make the decision to stay in Huntington or move back to Napa. So far staying in Napa didn’t seem like a bad idea.

It meant leaving Melinda and everybody else but, I was too confused to stay. Just like I’m too confused to know if I want to stay or leave. But all of that would be decided later.