A Melody, a Memory

It’s been four days.

Three since I found out that she was pregnant and lost it in the wreck.

Two since I had gotten released.

Four days she’s been unconscious.

I hadn’t really left the room since I didn’t have to stay in the bed. Apparently I was fine and I had gotten less of the impact since the car had come on her side. The driver had been drunk and died instantly when he hit us.

I had begun to think about a few things. If we had talked a little more before leaving it may not have happened. If the driver wasn’t on a drunken rampage because his wife had left him, he’d be alive and we wouldn’t be here. If the light before held out longer because the next few cars could make it, we’d all be ok. All of these events had some effect on the outcome of the future.

“Brian, go get something to eat.” Mike urged.

He had come a the next day after the crash. He had been like me and hadn’t left the hospital at all, but from time to time he didn’t like seeing Keri the way she was so he walked around.

I couldn’t stand seeing her that way either but I refused to leave. I knew she’d wake up soon.

“I’m fine.” I said.

Everybody had been telling me to do something. Eat, sleep, walk around, I knew they were worried about Keri and I but all the same I wanted to be left alone. Everyday somebody would bother me and I only wanted to be alone with Keri.

“You haven’t ate in two days, I get how you are feeling but you need to be alive when she gets up you know.”

“Mike, I get it ok.” I said trying not to snap.

He frowned a little and said he’d be right back, sure he was her older brother and I knew somewhere in him he didn’t like me but I knew he actually cared from time to time. After that the door had cracked open showing Zack and Johnny.

“Come in.” I sighed.

I had kicked them Matt and Jimmy out yesterday for them bugging me to eat and sleep.

“We won’t bug you we just wanted to talk.” Johnny said in defense.

I nodded not really caring anymore.

“Look we really don’t like seeing you this way. You haven’t talked to anybody so we want you to talk right now and you have no choice.” Zack demanded.

I sat looking at the wall. I honestly didn’t want to talk at all. They wouldn’t really understand everything all the way and it wouldn’t make things any better.

“I haven’t been sleeping lately because the last time I did I saw her. I saw the crash. I saw her smile. I heard her scream.” I spaced out as if I was seeing the dream again. “I don’t eat because I just don’t have an appetite. Look, just don’t worry about it.”

“No we are going to worry about it Syn.”

“We know how much you love Keri, hell you stopped smoking a week after you met her because she has asthma.” Johnny reminded me.

“And we see the way you look at her.”

I sighed, once again they were right. I had always been crazy about her, even when she looked like a blue Kirby on our first date, I had always loved her.

“I was going to ask her to marry me that night.”

Zacky and Johnny got oh looks on their faces. “And she was going to tell me she was pregnant.”

I only knew it because she would do something like that. It would have been something big on a relevant time. I had thought deeper into it and realized I didn’t want to talk anymore.

“Sorry man.” Johnny said with empathy.

“It’s fine, can you guys just come back later?” I sighed.

“Yeah, let us know if anything changes.” They both said getting up and walking out.

At least I knew I had good friends.