A Melody, a Memory

After a few weeks I had tried to adjust back to everything. I had to be reintroduced to all the people that I had met in the last four years. At first it seemed like too much to handle but I had to do it. I didn’t want to be out of the loop of my own life. Another thing that changed was that I hadn’t gone to Napa at all in the month, mostly because Melinda, Mike and Brian wouldn’t let me.

Brian.

I still wasn’t used to him. I didn’t know what to make of the “relationship” we had. Sure I thought I had small dreams of stuff that happened but nobody had to know that at all, besides I had forgotten some of the dreams all over again. On top of that I rarely had dreams about anything good about us. It seemed like there was nothing but bitterness.

It was beginning to feel like somebody wanted me to forget everything. I tried so hard to remember on smidge of my life, but forgot a large portion of it when I did. Honestly…

It pissed me off.

Today Melinda and I were going to have a sleepover. I knew that we had still done this because she explained it to me. I had forgotten why we did do it but she reminded me that it was because we needed to have time for just us where we would kick work, love and anything non best friend related to the side.

“So how has this whole rebooting your brain thing going?” She asked painting my toes a dark purplish color.

“It’s ok. Just small missing details.” I shrugged.

“Like?”

What was missing? It felt like something was but I didn’t know what it was. Of course.

“I don’t know.” I said.

“Well how are things with you and Syn?” She asked.

“Who?”

“Brian.”

Oh yeah. That was another thing. I (for whatever reason) was refusing to listen to, read or be apart of anything Avenged related. I only knew myself as one of their friends and nothing more than that. Matt was Matt, not M. Shadows. Zack was Zack, not Zacky Vengeance. Johnny was Johnny, not Johnny Christ. Jimmy was Jimmy and not The Rev.

And Brian was Brian, not Synyster Gates.

This was all in my eyes.

“Oh. I don’t know Melinda, I don’t even know who the guy is! I wake up and he’s right there. I believe that I had known him before but I don’t know if we were together, I don’t feel anything.” I admitted frustrated.

“Keri, you are or were in love with him. More than head over heels… more than… Anything, at times it was sickening but now that I think about it you loved him so much. Everybody wanted what you guys had Ker.”

I rarely knew about what we had. All anybody ever told me was how in love we were but nobody had backed it up enough for me to believe it. I only remembered bad things about it.

“I don’t know what we had. Look, from time to time I have dreams about things that I think may have happened-“

“See! Why don’t yo-“

“But they are all bad Mel. I only remember the worst one of all of the dreams I’ve had so far.” I admitted again.

“What happened?” She asked starting to brush my hair so she could put it in rollers.

~!~

I slumped in my chair with my arms and legs folded as I continued to wait for Brian. It had been this way for what was now a total of three hours. I sighed and blew the candles out as I got up. Before I went into my room I went into the kitchen and started to put the food in containers. After the food was up I eyed the cake that was sitting on the small island.

I grabbed the butcher cake knife and randomly hit the cake in anger then leaving the knife in the cake after I proceeded to my room.

Why was I mad? Not only had I taken hours to make dinner, wearing anything that he liked that he was in my closet, get a bunch of candles and put them into the bathroom along the other cliché anniversary things he knew I hated doing, but I was mad because this had been going on for a while.

He either stood me up for something or had to cancel, or completely forgot. What did I say every time? ‘It’s ok.’ Or ‘Maybe next time. Right?’.

I understood that work got in the way for him but I got sick of being on the backburner of everything for more than five months. The sad part about some of this was that I had always done what he needed me to. I was there for him but he was never there for me anymore.

Pure neglect.

I truthfully was questioning everything.

As I had walked into my room the front door opened.

“Keri?”

I sighed and walked back out side.

“Hey. Why are you dressed up?” He asked.

He’d forgotten. There was no doubt in that. He had forgotten.

“Because I had thought we were going to have dinner tonight. But it’s ok.” I shrugged turning back into my room.

“I’m sorry I forgot.” He said turning me around.

“Really? So you do remember?” I tested.

“Yes.”

Lie.

“Then why were we having dinner?” I quizzed.

“Just to have dinner?” He guessed.

“What’s the date?”

“November-, shit.” He said remembering what today was.

“Yeah you remember? Look whatever I’m going to bed.” I said throwing my hands up trying to get out of his grip.

“Babe, don’t do that. I know you’re pissed off. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not just pissed off about this Brian. You always do this. You put the band and anything else before me. I used to have no problem with it but it’s getting old.”

“I’ve been trying not to.”

“That’s bull shit! ‘Hey are we still going to dinner?’ ‘Yeah babe I promise, woops sorry I have to go out on the road for a few weeks.” I said mocking one time he told me he was leaving last minute.

“Keri, you are making me choose between you and my job!” He said getting as frustrated as I was.

“I’m not! I don’t want to be with Synyster Gates. I want to be with Brian Haner! I sound like a middle aged person but it’s just how I feel. I don’t want you to choose I just want to actually see you!”

~!~

“Oh I remember that. That whole fight didn’t even last long. You have nothing to worry about. I think that you should try to rebuild things.” She shrugged in the mirror as I straightened her hair.

“We’ll see.” I mumbled.

“Whatever.”

“To change the subject, did you ever find out how you are Italian and French and you have dark red hair?”

It was a lingering question that we both had.

“I don’t know! It’s most likely some recessive gene I guess. Now back to the subject. You are going to try to re do things with Brian… Right?” She said sternly.

“Whatever.” I huffed.

~!~

Brian’s POV

“I should call her.” I said getting up off Jimmy’s couch but being pulled back down by Johnny and Matt.

“Sit your ass down.” Zacky half scolded.

“Bri, she is going to be fine. She’s with Melinda, not a stranger.” Jimmy rolled his eyes.

I had gotten more worried about Keri. She may not have seen it because I tried to hide it but I was way over protective of her. I couldn’t help it though. I’ve been close to losing her and now she was slipping away. I couldn’t give up easily.

“Exactly, give her some space.” Matt shrugged.

“It’s not easy.” I groaned slumping into the couch more as the UFC fight continued.

“We know but let her try to get back to normal Keri. She’s gone back to old Keri. And Melinda is going to be Melinda and get her to remember things most likely.” Jimmy shrugged.

“Are you sure there is nothing between you and Melinda?” Matt asked Jimmy.

“Positive. I love her as a sister. My red headed magic magician wannabee sister.” He thought taking a swig of his beer.

“So Bri, relax, watch the fight, drink a beer and relax.” Zack said emphasizing relax both times.

“Whatever.” I muttered.