Our Poison

I walked out of Math. I needed to make sure I avoided Zach. Walking home was much more relaxing and neither of us were seeing eye to eye today. What was the big deal that he snuck in? Sure it might look like we had done something... but we didn't. Zach didn't trust me... how could he complain over Audrey?

He should trust me.

I sighed seeing my breath as I exhaled. The sky was a thick blanket of gray. Random white flakes descended from the sky. Last night they'd covered the concrete sidewalk. It would be a long while till I could see my beloved sunset. Not till spring. I always hated how winter hid my favorite features of the earth. I did like the beauty it brought with it, however. The cold I could have done without. I think it was a whole thirty degrees.

An arm wrapped around my waist bringing warmth to me instantly. I jumped a bit, then melting in his arms seconds later. This was the one I'd waited to see all day. The one I always thought about.

“Hello, Love.” I looked over gazing into his hazy eyes. They held the colors of the earth in them, and perfectly fit his features. It was interesting how his hair was matching the world of white around us. He was like the snowy earth.

He kissed my cheek. “You were out here waiting for me?” I questioned.

He nodded, that twisted smirk appearing on his lips. The cold had given his pale complexion a pinky glow. It reminded me of porcelain almost. “I wanted to see my baby, of course.” he responded watching my face morph from happiness to confusion.

Baby? Wasn't that a name for some girlfriend? I'm not a girl...

I wasn't to sure if I liked the new nickname, but I wouldn't protest it now. I was just happy to see him.

I dismissed that thought process going to a new one, the reason why Zach knew Audrey was in the room. “You marked me.”

His smirk only widened. “I had to make sure everyone knew you belonged to me.”

That was obviously accomplished... but I couldn't have marks on me constantly either. That wouldn't work for me... and Zach would complain more and more... Hell he nags so much! Well... I guess he only nags me so I can't get too mad at him for it.

“No one else's can you be, for I have made you belong to me.” he sang running his fingers through my hair and his cheek against mine. “No other life will I take, it's only yours, only yours I'll take.” he continued, stepping closer to me. I loved his poems. I loved how they always reminded me I was his and he was mine. He needed me.

I never realized we were just standing outside the school until another arm was around me and pulled me back quickly. I was too caught up in my thoughts and comfortable in my boyfriend's arms. My head snapped up meeting Zach. I shifted to Audrey. His eyes were glued on my brother, irritated, but not angry.

“Zach, back off.” I demanded. I didn't want to deal with this right now... or later.

“Audrey?” he asked, ignoring me.

He nodded. “You're Zach, I presume.”

My brother also nodded. “I was wondering who my brother was obsessing over.”

Obsessing. I hardly was. Sure, I liked being around Audrey... He was the only one who acted as though he cared for me. I felt important to him.

“Is there something wrong?” Audrey asked hesitantly, probably wondering why my brother was acted like an overprotective moron. It did make me feel better knowing he had to care for me to some extent to act like this... but it was annoying me more than anything.

“You snuck into Garith's room last night or this morning?”

“It doesn't entirely matter the time, now does it?”

“I don't want my brother around someone dishonest.” Zach stated, disliking the answer. Audrey wasn't lying though, just making it a point the time didn't matter and he admitted he did. Zach only cared about straight forward answers...

Audrey was staying calm, eyes fixed on my brother. “I wouldn't do anything against his will. I snuck in last night. Garith didn't want me to leave.” he clarified, sighing and then relaxing a bit.

“And you're corrupting him no less.” Zach's eyes fell to my mark. He was going to pretend I was a little baby I guess who had to be hid from the world and it's experiences.

“I didn't want him to leave.” I repeated. “don't blame Audrey for what is also my fault. Now let go of me.”

Zach was hesitant of course. It was pissing me off a bit. I just wanted to be by Audrey. I wanted to be in his arms.

“Where were you two planning on going?” Zach asked, looking at Audrey more so than me.

“Just walk around,” he shrugged, “nothing special planned for today.”

“You can't sneak into the house anymore.” Zach muttered, letting me go. His eyes shifted to me. “Be home before dinner. I will come look for you.”

Great, threatening me. He wasn't my parent. Not in the least.

Audrey placed an arm around my waist. “Calm down, love.” he whispered, then smiling at Zach as he walked away. “Don't worry, I'll take care of him, Zach.”

“He's trying too hard...” I complained after Zach was no longer in my sight.

Audrey sighed a little. “He cares for you.” he noted, taking my hand in his. “The world you think leaves you alone, no one to care for you, no hope. When only if you looked inside, this box has more love than lies. So many people care for you, its simply you don't see they do. The question will be in the end, can you leave the hearts which love you to death.” he hummed after finishing his song. He walked in the direction of the cemetery. It was our spot. Only our spot.

I smiled seeing it's gates, but his poem was still on my mind. It made sense. But would I leave them? I guess I was disowning them slowly. Devaluing them. I didn't want to listen and believe someone cared, did I? I'd been so used to being alone.

I gazed at each stone wondering what each person had thought of their family when they died. Did they take them for granted? Did they love them all no matter what? Did they even have a family?

We passed by the grave I almost died in. Would I have been happy... dying knowing I had taken family for granted? Would feeling alone be fulfilling? Would I regret my life?

“Did your friend really die, happy with his death?” I questioned, looking at Audrey. His eyes fell to mine, apologetic. It was almost as if he was about to cry.

“He was happy he no longer had to suffer.” was all Audrey had said and would say on the topic. I could understand him not wanting to think of it. If my friend was murdered, I wouldn't want to either. But he was happy he didn't have to suffer, that didn't mean he was happy with the life he'd led.

I followed him into the small gathering of trees with the fountain in the center. The snow hadn't touched this area. It was much warmer than anywhere else as well. He sat on the edge of the fountain. It wasn't quiet yet frozen. I suppose it had to make up for all the death in this single location. It was the only life, the only hope here.

He pulled me into him, kissing my cheek. “You don't want to stay angry with Zach. He only want's you happy. We need to be friends with him. You need to remember you love him, Garith.”

My eyes lingered on the few dead leaves which still lied on the dirt floor. He was right, wasn't he?

I'd gotten full of anger.

“You've become bitter towards your family.” he pointed out, wrapping both arms around my waist and resting his cheek against mine. “Someday you'll lie here. Someday you'll hold regrets. Don't make the list of them exceed what is necessary.”

I nodded, accepting the fact I'd been wrong. I never would have listened though if it weren't from Audrey.

“He'll accept me for you eventually. He won't trust your judgment though, if you can't trust his.”

“Yes, I know...” I sighed, hating I'd been wrong this whole time. I could have been closer to Zach.

“Do not dwell on what has past, think only of now, it's all there is. Here we are just for you. In life or death we'll see you through. Darling, darling, don't get lost, in that maze of confusion, it holds no love. Follow, follow, follow me now, I'll always guide you, always out.” he sang, turning me to face him.

His icey cold lips pressed against mine as the warmth of his body melted any discomfort and anger it could have held. His mere precense flooded my body as if it'd melt any bitterness I could have left. These lips were healing. They were my gate to happiness.

Baby, baby never leave
I only can feel you with me.
You're heart is all I ever want,
these lips are all I care to touch.

You mean the world,
don't leave me now
I must have you,
hold me now.

The only thing which makes things clear
the only one which I hold dear.

You heal me love,
my sight is now clear.