Blanket of Fear

Five days later, Eliza was more exhausted than she had ever been before, even in spite of the fact that she had known that this was going to be a tiring ordeal. She had learned so much from Leana in the last few days, and it was something she was excited about. The brunette girl had helped her to learn how to load a cartridge into the gun, as well as how to take the safety off quickly. She had learned how to shoot, and how to aim.

It was a lot to take in, but Eliza was certain that it was working for her. She knew that with this information, both she and Zacky would be better off. He wouldn’t have to stress so badly because she might be left unprotected, and she could make sure she knew how to keep herself safe if it came down to that.

She still hadn’t found a way to break the news to him that she had been learning how to use a gun and how to shoot it. It was a conversation she wasn’t quite sure how to strike. She knew that he was going to be positively livid with the fact that Leana had helped her learn how to shoot, but she also knew that he’d have no real reason to be angry since he had never specifically said that Leana couldn’t teach her how to shoot.

She looked up when she saw him start walking towards her, and smiled softly before she pressed her lips against his forehead as he came closer to her. “Hey, baby,” he murmured before he pressed his lips against her forehead.

She knew that he was in a good mood right now, and she felt guilty knowing that she was about to end it. She needed to tell him that she’d been learning about guns, whether or not she wanted to. If he found out some other way, he’d be even angrier, and that was something she wasn’t going to let happen.

“Can we go somewhere private?” She asked him, biting the corner of her bottom lip before she pressed her lips against his mouth, wanting to let him know how much she cared about him. She loved him, she just wanted to make sure that he realized she was going to do some things without his consent. It was something she was serious about.

“What’s that all about?” He asked her, frowning as he touched the side of her face. “Your mind is all murky and dark looking. What’re you thinking about that’s got you so upset?”

She groaned, not liking the fact that he had once again read into her thoughts to see if he could figure out what she was thinking. She got furious with him over that, because it was her mind, not his. No matter how much they loved each other, he had no right to invade her privacy like that. Her anger immediately became noticeable to him and he grimaced as he gave her an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m trying to stop doing that. It’s a reflex,” he muttered under his breath before he cleared his throat. “But yeah, we can go somewhere private. There’s a place out in the woods that we can go to.”

Eliza nodded, letting Zack grab her hand and start leading her towards the spot he was talking about. She was scared because what she was going to tell him could make him more furious with her than he ever had been before. She remembered how upset he had been when she had given him blood when he’d been suicidal, and she didn’t want it getting back to that point again. She cared about him too much, and that was one of the reasons she was trying to tell herself that she didn’t want to tell him. But even if she didn’t want to, she had to. It was the right thing to do.

Neither of them said a word as they started making their way to the clearing. During the walk, Eliza couldn’t help but think to herself how absolutely beautiful the area was. It was someplace she could definitely imagine having as a vacation home, though she doubted she’d feel like that by the time things ended.

This was where the battle was going to take place. They weren’t going to go looking for Castro; they were waiting for him to come to them. And when he did, they were going to try and use the home advantage against him and take him out once and for all. It wouldn’t be easy, and it would take a lot of bloodshed, but either way, it was what was going to happen.

He sat down on a small bench before he pulled her down onto his lap, putting a small smile on his face as he did so. “Now what did you want to talk about that’s so secretive?” He asked her in a soft murmur, pressing his lips against the back of her neck while his arms wrapped around her waist.

She groaned and pushed her hand back through her hair before she looked down at the ground, unsure of how to bring this conversation up. She knew he’d be furious, and that was why it was so hard for her to talk about.

“You know how you told Jimmy not to teach me how to use a gun, right?” She muttered under her breath, knowing that the two of them hadn’t been getting along since Zack had told Jimmy that he didn’t want her learning self defense.

Zack nodded, although his eyebrows furrowed together as he thought about his words. “Has he been teaching you anyway? After I asked you to drop it?” He nearly growled, holding her tighter, more protectively. “Baby, you know I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Is the reason you want to learn so bad because you don’t trust me?”

“That’s not it, Zack,” she shook her head before she looked up at him. “And Jimmy isn’t teaching me.”

He breathed out a sigh of relief, although Eliza knew that in a few minutes, he wasn’t going to be so happy. “I’m glad he’s not teaching you, babe,” he mumbled into her hair before he looked down at her. “So what’s this conversation about if it’s not about Jimmy?”

She knew that this was when things were going to get tricky, and she didn’t like that. Still, though, she knew it was necessary. “Well…Jimmy hasn’t been teaching me anything,” she told him with a small frown. “Leana has.”

If nothing she’d said so far had shocked him, this definitely had. He immediately let his arms drop from around her waist as he looked down at her, frowning even more than he already had been before he moved so that he was standing.

“What do you mean, Leana’s been teaching you? I told you I didn’t want you learning, Eliza,” he sighed, pushing his hand back through his hair before he narrowed his eyes. “Why didn’t you listen to me about this?”

“Because you’re not always going to be there, Zack. I can’t live my life expecting you and everyone else to protect me, and keep me sheltered forever. I have to live my own life, too.”

“Like hell, you do,” he told her, shaking his head. “No. I’ll be there, Eliza. If this is about wanting and needing to feel protected, I’ll make sure it happens. But you can’t do this. I can’t…no. I don’t want you to be around guns, baby.”

Eliza shook her head, knowing that this was going to prove more difficult than she’d thought. She sighed and stood up, looking at him through narrowed eyes. “Would you rather me be the one to get shot and killed if it comes down to a battle between me and Sean?”

She knew her question was rough, but right now, it was the only way she could think of to get him to see this from her point of view. She was terrified that she’d never be able to protect herself if it came down to that. She didn’t want the same things that had happened to Leigh to happen to her. She wanted to be able to stop that from happening if she could, and that was exactly why she wanted to learn how to use the gun.

Zack just growled and pushed his hand back through his hair before he heard Joel calling for him. “We’re not done with this conversation, Eliza. But we’ve got to head back before someone gets worried and calls an all-out search,” he mumbled under his breath as he grabbed her hand so they could start making their way back towards the cabin. Eliza did nothing but listen. She knew she’d hurt him by doing this, but it was something she had to do.