Blanket of Fear

The entire walk back to the house, Eliza could feel Zack’s eyes burning holes in her back. Rather than being scared like she knew she probably should be, his anger only proved to piss her off as well. Who was Zack to be angry with her? Sure, she knew she probably shouldn’t have gone looking for Johnny and Leigh. But no one in the house would ever tell her what was going on. She deserved to know at least that much, didn’t she?

It then dawned on her that maybe, just maybe, Zack still saw her as just ‘Sean’s ex-girlfriend.’ She knew that was probably a stupid thought; he had proven, after all, that he did at least feel for her. And he’d told her he loved her, as well.

The second she got inside the door of the house, she felt his rough grip on her arm, causing her to turn and glare at him through icy eyes. “Let go of me, Zack.” She whispered hotly, not wanting anyone to realize that she and Zack were having a fight. She knew it would be no surprise to them, but felt that their relationship was no concern of anyone else’s.

“You’re coming upstairs with me.” He shot back under his breath, leading her towards the stairs and pulling her up the steps much like he had the first day she’d been brought to stay with them. She was really getting tired of staircases, and wondered why they’d even been invented. She followed as quickly as she could, not wanting to trip on a step and hurt her leg. Once they got to the top of the landing, he took her to the end of the hall where their bedroom was and shoved her inside before closing the door, locking it behind him before he turned to glare at her, absolute fury in his jade green eyes.

“Don’t you dare give me that look, Zack.” She told him, crossing her arms over her chest, not backing down as she stood her ground. She wasn’t going to give Zack the satisfaction of being the weaker link in their relationship.

“What in the fuck did you think you were doing, Eliza? Huh?” He questioned, ignoring her statement as he crossed the floorboards, pushing her back against the wall as he pinned her wrists to the side. She winced in slight pain at the pressure that he was putting on her and loosened his grip just enough so that she wouldn’t be in physical pain as he glowered down at her.

“Finding out for myself what’s going on!” She yelled at him, unable to keep her voice lowered any longer. She was furious with him. He hadn’t a right to treat her as if she were the bad guy when clearly she’d only been curious. “No one tells me a damn thing around here, and it’s getting really fucking old.”

“It’s for your own goddamn good, Eliza.” He stated, his grip tightening once more as he looked down at her, his eyes not once leaving hers. “The less you know, the safer you are. If I tell you something, it’s something you need to know. Otherwise, you leave it alone.”

“No, I won’t ‘leave it alone.’” She retorted vehemently. “I was under the impression that I was a part of the family here, Zack. That I’d been accepted. Was I wrong? Am I just a plaything for you?”

For a brief second, she saw a flash of shock course through his eyes before they softened just a little bit. “You are part of my family, Eliza. That’s why I don’t tell you things.” He whispered, moving one hand up to trace his fingers along the side of her face gently. “I don’t want to do anything that would put you at jeopardy, and—”

He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as she slapped him soundly across his cheek. “Don’t you dare use that excuse on me, Zack.” She said angrily. “It won’t work. Not anymore. You tell the people you love things. You don’t hold back. You don’t fucking lie to people you love.”

“I haven’t lied to you!”

“Holding back is just as good as lying.” She whispered, the anger still in her eyes as his touch lingered on her skin. She didn’t want to let that affect her. She didn’t want to back down on this. She was pissed, dammit, and she wasn’t backing down this time.

“No, it’s not.” He reasoned, moving his hand back to her wrist as she began trying to pull his occupied hand off of her other wrist. “Sometimes holding back is what saves peoples’ lives, El.”

“Bullshit.” She spat, turning her head away from his gaze as it softened. She knew that if she looked into his eyes now, she wouldn’t hold up. He was like her Medusa, but he had the opposite effect of turning her to stone. No, he melted her. And right now, she didn’t want that.

“Eliza, look at me.” He demanded, freeing her hand once more to grab her face in his hand and direct her gaze back on his. Her knees weakened slightly when she saw all the emotion in his eyes, and she was thankful for the first time since they’d entered the room that he was pinning her wrist to the wall, stopping her from falling.

“No.” She whispered, her voice breaking even as she said the word, attempting to avert her gaze once again. “You’re not making me change my mind, Zack. I’m still angry, and I’m not getting over it this easily. You’re never going to trust me enough to tell me what’s going on, and I can’t deal with that. I love you, but I can’t handle knowing that you—”

She stopped herself short of what she’d been about to say, knowing that those few words would hurt him more than she wanted to. Sure, she was angry, but that didn’t mean she wanted to cause him pain. Zack was having none of it though, and the hurt evident in his eyes showed that once again, he’d seen her thoughts travelling in her mind.

“Say it.” He told her quietly, his voice thick with hurt.

“Zacky, I don’t—” She tried, before he shook his head, keeping his eyes fixed on her. It was then that her heart felt sore, too. She felt like she’d just shot her puppy. Her thoughts had hurt Zack, and she knew it. And she hated that she’d done that to him.

“Say it.” He pressed. “Say how dangerous I am. How you can’t trust me. How you think that I’m going to do to you what I did to Michelle.” He said the last sentence through gritted teeth.

“I know you wouldn’t do that, Zack.” She said quietly, looking at the floor. He released his hold on her, and stepped back a few feet from her, as though he were scared of her. She knew that wasn’t the case, though. Nothing scared Zack. No, he was wounded.

“Now who’s the one who’s lying?” He asked her, turning around and walking towards the bedroom door. “Because your thoughts tell me that you don’t know that.”