Jayden's Guitar

She was in my dream. I haven’t dreamed about May in almost three years. It was about the last day I saw May. We were only sixteen and stupid. I was so scared, terrified would have been the right word.

Today my son’s fifth birthday, and I don’t even know his name.

There was no way I was going to be a father, I wouldn’t let it happen. So I left, left Michigan and moved to Maine. I moved in with my grandparents and started my senior year. It was a big transition, but I had to. It was hard to leave the ones I loved, my responsibilities and my friends, but I had to.

As I stared at the ceiling on my couch her big brown eyes flashed through my mind. I could see her face; her hair. The way it fell over her shoulders and curled at the bottom. I loved everything about her. The way she said my name, and how she loved me too.

But she got pregnant and I couldn’t handle it. I needed music. That was always the plan. I was going to be part of a band and play music. Thanks to my senior year in a new state and school, I met who is now Breathe Today. Four of my best friend’s ever.

I never actually forgot about May and the child I never met. I pushed them out of my mind and tried to move on. After two years of not seeing or speaking to anyone that had to do with May, I got over everything. I’ve never regretted not staying with them. Sure, I felt bad and missed her but music was my calling. I couldn’t turn down the chance to live my dream.

My cell phone rang on the coffee table and I quickly picked it up.

“Hello?” My voice was rough when I spoke.

“Hi Jace!” I could hear my mother’s perky voice on the other end.

“Hey Mom,”

“How was tour? You got home already right?” She asked.

I nodded but realized that she couldn’t see it, “Yeah, about two hours ago. I crashed the minute I got home. I am going to start packing in a minute.”

Tomorrow morning I would be flying to Michigan to visit my family because I haven’t seen them in nearly a year.

“Okay, that sounds good. Oh, honey sorry I have to go, your father needs me. We’re setting up your bedroom. I can’t wait to see you. Call me before you get on the plane. Goodbye!” I heard the click before I could say anything. My mother always does this. She goes all out for my homecoming. She calls all my family and throws me a huge welcome home party even though I insist she doesn’t. I’ve learned to let her do things her way and not fight her, because she would do it all anyway.

I sighed and put May out of my thoughts. She moved away too, to Florida. I knew that I wouldn’t be seeing her when I go to Michigan tomorrow. She’s never there and even if she was, I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing her.

I grabbed my bags that were still on the floor and brought them into my room.

___________

“He’s here!” My mother came running outside of her old suburban home, the house I grew up in. As I closed the door to the cab and started to walk up the sidewalk my mom attacked me in a hug, making me put down the bags in my hands. I loosely wrapped my one arm around her waist, the other one smoothing out her graying hair.

“Hi Mommy,” I smiled and felt her squeeze my torso tighter. As I looked over her head I could see my fifteen year old brother, Christian, and my father come barreling out of the house. They’re faces both portraying the same happy smile. My mom let go of my body and looked up at my face.

A sad smile graced her lips as she spoke, “I wish you would come visit more. I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too. You know that it’s hard for me to come here. I am barely home as it is.” A small sigh escaped my lips as I pulled her close again. My parents and brother knew that I got May pregnant once upon a time. They weren’t exactly thrilled that I made a decision to leave them, but they let me. They said that it was my choice and life, they couldn’t tell me how to live it.

When we let go my dad spoke, “My, my, look at Jacey boy” He laughed, “you’ve grown up a lot.”

I laughed with him and gave him a hug, “It’s good to see you too Dad.” Once we let go, he picked up one of my bags. My mom had picked up the other one and was already starting toward the house. My dad fallowed her lead and let Christian and I talk.

As he walked up to me I realized that everything about him screamed teenager. The way his legs stretched out farther from the rest of his body, which made it seem like he would trip at any given second. The pimples that took over his forehead were somewhat noticeable but I remember having it a lot worse. Once we reached each other he gave me a quick hug and I tried not to laugh.

“Christian,” I said and looked at him. He had grown, about two feet since the last time I had seen him. My brother and I were never the closest of brothers. It wasn’t just the fact that he was six years younger than me, I think it was always that I had left my pregnant girlfriend. Even at ten years old he knew I was doing something completely wrong and selfish. Ever since then, we haven’t been close.

“Jace,” He nodded.

We both made our way into the house and stood uncomfortably in the foyer. After a few seconds my mother came down the stairs, a big, happy smile on her face. “Jace, I just put your bags in your room. You can go clean up or get situated. Everyone’s going to be here in two hours.”

I nodded and planted a kiss on her head when I passed her. Once I got upstairs I took a shower and made myself more presentable. I had only spoken to my other family members a few times in the matter of a year. They would all be gushing over how old I got and my music. That always made me happy.

Just as I was about to go downstairs to great my aunt and uncle my phone rang. I sighed and pulled it out of my back pocket.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Is this Jace Peterson?”