Status: New.
Emo Prince Meets Emo Princess and They Drown the World With Their Emoness
seventeen.
Eric walked out to his balcony – shockingly, not because he was emo and sad and crying over literal bullshit – just because he heard a really gaw-jus voice singing a really pretty song that he’s vaguely heard from a movie that he saw as a kid. There was no grunting and groaning, just harmony. And he liked it.
WTF?!
He ran dramatically out to the beach – oh yes, guys, just like in the movies – and went to meet the fair maiden with the lovely set of pipes who didn’t sing like someone with major enphasima. He sort of forgot about that girl named after an eating disorder…
Who was she? Bulimia? Compulsive over eating? Binge eating? Pica? EDNOS?
Suddenly, a wave of changed washed over the Emo Prince of Belfry. He saw the world in an entirely new light. Everything was bright – despite the darkness – and pretty and beautiful, full of rainbows and sunshine and gaw-jus girls with big boobs. He found himself falling down a rainbow of princely and wealthy opportunities, falling into a world of pot and gum, cheerleaders and pom-poms, Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch, fast cars and blow jobs.
Oh, hi, high school!
Talking about big boobs, a girl was suddenly in front of him. She was tan, with frosted bleach blonde hair, done up in a stereotypical, supermodel pouf. She was chewing obnoxiously, smiling a bright, white smile. He looked down at her. She wore a skin tight Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt, showing off her toned abs that she obviously worked hours on by binging and purging and going to the gym. Her Hollister shorts were abnormally short, showing off her tanned legs. And she wore flip-flops that showed off her pedicure toes. And her nails weren’t hers – acrylics, you see. Because it’s so sexy to have those.
Tons of showing off.
“Heyyyy hawwtieeeeee,” she drawled in his stereotypical Myspace whore voice. “Uhm, you wanna, like, hang out?” She popped her gum and few thousand times.
“Er,” Eric said. “Yes, I’d love to.” He was smiling genuinely, laughing and taking her hand. She’s the girl I’ll marry.
Whoa, what was that?! Eric was actually talking like a normal human being! A Prince, no less!
He ushered his new friend into the castle, introducing her to his parents. The King and Queen were so joyously happy that they had a Royal Decree written up immediately; a party would take place at the castle the next afternoon, celebrating the Prince’s amazing transformation into a normal human being.
Before, he wore only black and cut his arms with razor blades. Now he was wearing his uniforms like a good little boy, listening to his parents and not bringing in random peasants girls who wore MCR underwear.
The party was truly a grand occasion. The other princes and young kings from far and wide came to celebrate. Eric was actually able to converse with them normally, talking of economics and politics, not screaming and yelling at the voices that bombarded his psyche. Those were long gone now.
He was now dancing with the random preppy girl that he met on the beach. Her name was Vanessa and she was seventeen, just like him. He thought she was the most beautiful thing on this earth, with her huge chest and pompous dresses that made her look like she hopped out of a terrible Disney fairytale.
And that one chick with the eating disorder – was she named after one…? – stood by, ready to kill the blonde monster dancing with her prince, while Eric couldn’t stop ogling her, muttering over and over again about how gorgeous Vanessa is.
Oh, my!
“My people!” Eric said oh so stereotypically, still holding Vanessa’s hand. If he let go, he’d fall over dead. He loved her oh so much it was oh so sickening already.
He pulled a ring from his pocket, batting his formerly blue eyes at Vanessa. “My dear Vanessa, I’ve only met you yesterday, but I already want to spend the rest of my life with you.” With that, he bent down on one knee in front of everyone, shocking the life out of his father; so much so that the King plotzed from happiness. “Will you marry me?”
“Lahke, oh my gawd, yes!” Vanessa squealed, pressing her huge, artificially enhanced chest into Eric’s face as she hugged him. It was her dream! She was finally getting married! Oh my gawd, she had to tell her whole cheerleading squad!
Getting’ married, yawwwl! Wedding in Belfry! Wedding of the century! Everyone wear pink ;DDDDD she twittered on her iPhone.
Wedding of the century?!
Eric, still trapped against his fiance’s face, barely noticed the freaky eating disorder girl with the huge hair walk out of the ballroom.
Oh, how emo!
WTF?!
He ran dramatically out to the beach – oh yes, guys, just like in the movies – and went to meet the fair maiden with the lovely set of pipes who didn’t sing like someone with major enphasima. He sort of forgot about that girl named after an eating disorder…
Who was she? Bulimia? Compulsive over eating? Binge eating? Pica? EDNOS?
Suddenly, a wave of changed washed over the Emo Prince of Belfry. He saw the world in an entirely new light. Everything was bright – despite the darkness – and pretty and beautiful, full of rainbows and sunshine and gaw-jus girls with big boobs. He found himself falling down a rainbow of princely and wealthy opportunities, falling into a world of pot and gum, cheerleaders and pom-poms, Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch, fast cars and blow jobs.
Oh, hi, high school!
Talking about big boobs, a girl was suddenly in front of him. She was tan, with frosted bleach blonde hair, done up in a stereotypical, supermodel pouf. She was chewing obnoxiously, smiling a bright, white smile. He looked down at her. She wore a skin tight Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt, showing off her toned abs that she obviously worked hours on by binging and purging and going to the gym. Her Hollister shorts were abnormally short, showing off her tanned legs. And she wore flip-flops that showed off her pedicure toes. And her nails weren’t hers – acrylics, you see. Because it’s so sexy to have those.
Tons of showing off.
“Heyyyy hawwtieeeeee,” she drawled in his stereotypical Myspace whore voice. “Uhm, you wanna, like, hang out?” She popped her gum and few thousand times.
“Er,” Eric said. “Yes, I’d love to.” He was smiling genuinely, laughing and taking her hand. She’s the girl I’ll marry.
Whoa, what was that?! Eric was actually talking like a normal human being! A Prince, no less!
He ushered his new friend into the castle, introducing her to his parents. The King and Queen were so joyously happy that they had a Royal Decree written up immediately; a party would take place at the castle the next afternoon, celebrating the Prince’s amazing transformation into a normal human being.
Before, he wore only black and cut his arms with razor blades. Now he was wearing his uniforms like a good little boy, listening to his parents and not bringing in random peasants girls who wore MCR underwear.
The party was truly a grand occasion. The other princes and young kings from far and wide came to celebrate. Eric was actually able to converse with them normally, talking of economics and politics, not screaming and yelling at the voices that bombarded his psyche. Those were long gone now.
He was now dancing with the random preppy girl that he met on the beach. Her name was Vanessa and she was seventeen, just like him. He thought she was the most beautiful thing on this earth, with her huge chest and pompous dresses that made her look like she hopped out of a terrible Disney fairytale.
And that one chick with the eating disorder – was she named after one…? – stood by, ready to kill the blonde monster dancing with her prince, while Eric couldn’t stop ogling her, muttering over and over again about how gorgeous Vanessa is.
Oh, my!
“My people!” Eric said oh so stereotypically, still holding Vanessa’s hand. If he let go, he’d fall over dead. He loved her oh so much it was oh so sickening already.
He pulled a ring from his pocket, batting his formerly blue eyes at Vanessa. “My dear Vanessa, I’ve only met you yesterday, but I already want to spend the rest of my life with you.” With that, he bent down on one knee in front of everyone, shocking the life out of his father; so much so that the King plotzed from happiness. “Will you marry me?”
“Lahke, oh my gawd, yes!” Vanessa squealed, pressing her huge, artificially enhanced chest into Eric’s face as she hugged him. It was her dream! She was finally getting married! Oh my gawd, she had to tell her whole cheerleading squad!
Getting’ married, yawwwl! Wedding in Belfry! Wedding of the century! Everyone wear pink ;DDDDD she twittered on her iPhone.
Wedding of the century?!
Eric, still trapped against his fiance’s face, barely noticed the freaky eating disorder girl with the huge hair walk out of the ballroom.
Oh, how emo!
♠ ♠ ♠
Excuse the suck-ishness. xD