Status: New.
Emo Prince Meets Emo Princess and They Drown the World With Their Emoness
nineteen.
Eric didn’t even notice that one chick – what the hell is her name? – walk out of the ballroom and dance with a bunch of other palace brats. He was still plastered against his buxom fiancé’s chest as they danced, half-suffocating because of the insanely harmful saline implants that he thought just popped.
You wouldn’t smell it, dumbfuck.
But that was okay, he thought, because he was totally and erotically in love with this plastic Barbie doll. She had everything – the plastic boobs, the plastic nose, the perfect straight teeth that only a freakin’ doll could possess. Oh, and that body. She could turn every other girl in the kingdom anorexic.
Bitch.
Problem was, he was really suffocating because of the Abercrombie & Fitch perfume she doused herself in before she got dressed. More like took a bath in it. Gross.
“Vanny, baby,” Eric muttered against her skin, tasting soap and perfume. “Gotta go get something to drink.” Sure, he wasn’t emo anymore, but even non-emos need a drink.
Vanessa popped her gum a thousand more times, considering letting her one chance to get that emo beeyotch away from her prince. Maybe if that girl was better looking – minus the shit makeup, hair and style – then she’d consider it further. But her attention span got back to the totally amazing cheer routine her squad just choreographed.
“Vanny?” Eric gasped, on the verge of plotzing over from that smell.
“Yeah?” she asked, looking down, batting her overly mascara-ed eyelashes, grinning that idiot smile and battering her eyelashes some more.
“Drink,” Eric said, finally detaching himself from her boobs and sucking in great gusts of air into his parched lungs. But his lungs were already parched from singing all that emo, scream music shit.
Vanessa grinned at him as she started performing her retarded cheer routine. The guests – consisting of mostly pervy old men with erectile dysfunction – cheered loudly as she executed a few tumbles and cartwheels.
Eric pulled himself away from the party and to the bar, where he pounded a few straight vodkas. Then he pounded a few more. And more. And more. Until he needed to drain the lizard. Really. Really. Badly.
“Fuck!” he muttered and ran to the nearest bathroom, kicking the door open, only to find a really emo chick sitting on the toilet, tears streaking her face, a razor to her wrist. Blood ran down her arm, but she didn’t seem to care because it only emphasized how pained she was. Her makeup was running, also emphasizing how pained she was. Even the shitty ass emo music that shattered her ear drums emphasized how pained she was.
“GET THE FUCK OUT!” Eric screamed at her. “I NEED TO PEE A FUCKING GALLON!”
The girl looked at him with a pained expression, pouted her lips in internal emo pain, and shuffled out of the bathroom, carving PAIN into her arm as Eric slammed the door shut.
He lied. Being with Vanessa for a few days actually made him develop a sudden case of bulimia.
-
After the party ended, Vanessa was only happy to hop into bed with her almost-fiancé. She made sure to pull out her most expensive bra and panties and don them as they snuggled near each other, full of lovey, lovey, goopy love.
“Baby, am I fat?” Eric asked Vanessa as he closed the light near his bed. When he still a whiny emo bitch, he didn’t even have a light source in his room. The only occasional light source was that of his iPod or laptop. To add to Vanessa’s misery, the room was painted black.
“No,” she said, purposely making the strap of her bra fall down her shoulder. She thought it made her look sexy, but in reality, her every move screamed WHORE!
“Liar,” Eric pouted. What’s worse than an emo kid turning into a normal boy turning into a half-homosexual?
“Well, you have your love handles…”
Eric jolted up, tears suddenly running down his face as he shrieked, “OH MY GOD, HOW CAN YOU LET ME EAT MORE THAN 800 CALORIES, VANNY!?” Then he ran to the spacious bathroom and jammed his finger down his throat, sobbing the entire time ‘cause he was such a fatty, fat, fatty and Vanessa needed someone as skinny as she was.
Vanessa giggled in a stupid girlish, cheerleader sort of way. She’d have a prince, be skinny forever and ever, and get rid of that emo bitch in a day!
Oh, yayz!
You wouldn’t smell it, dumbfuck.
But that was okay, he thought, because he was totally and erotically in love with this plastic Barbie doll. She had everything – the plastic boobs, the plastic nose, the perfect straight teeth that only a freakin’ doll could possess. Oh, and that body. She could turn every other girl in the kingdom anorexic.
Bitch.
Problem was, he was really suffocating because of the Abercrombie & Fitch perfume she doused herself in before she got dressed. More like took a bath in it. Gross.
“Vanny, baby,” Eric muttered against her skin, tasting soap and perfume. “Gotta go get something to drink.” Sure, he wasn’t emo anymore, but even non-emos need a drink.
Vanessa popped her gum a thousand more times, considering letting her one chance to get that emo beeyotch away from her prince. Maybe if that girl was better looking – minus the shit makeup, hair and style – then she’d consider it further. But her attention span got back to the totally amazing cheer routine her squad just choreographed.
“Vanny?” Eric gasped, on the verge of plotzing over from that smell.
“Yeah?” she asked, looking down, batting her overly mascara-ed eyelashes, grinning that idiot smile and battering her eyelashes some more.
“Drink,” Eric said, finally detaching himself from her boobs and sucking in great gusts of air into his parched lungs. But his lungs were already parched from singing all that emo, scream music shit.
Vanessa grinned at him as she started performing her retarded cheer routine. The guests – consisting of mostly pervy old men with erectile dysfunction – cheered loudly as she executed a few tumbles and cartwheels.
Eric pulled himself away from the party and to the bar, where he pounded a few straight vodkas. Then he pounded a few more. And more. And more. Until he needed to drain the lizard. Really. Really. Badly.
“Fuck!” he muttered and ran to the nearest bathroom, kicking the door open, only to find a really emo chick sitting on the toilet, tears streaking her face, a razor to her wrist. Blood ran down her arm, but she didn’t seem to care because it only emphasized how pained she was. Her makeup was running, also emphasizing how pained she was. Even the shitty ass emo music that shattered her ear drums emphasized how pained she was.
“GET THE FUCK OUT!” Eric screamed at her. “I NEED TO PEE A FUCKING GALLON!”
The girl looked at him with a pained expression, pouted her lips in internal emo pain, and shuffled out of the bathroom, carving PAIN into her arm as Eric slammed the door shut.
He lied. Being with Vanessa for a few days actually made him develop a sudden case of bulimia.
-
After the party ended, Vanessa was only happy to hop into bed with her almost-fiancé. She made sure to pull out her most expensive bra and panties and don them as they snuggled near each other, full of lovey, lovey, goopy love.
“Baby, am I fat?” Eric asked Vanessa as he closed the light near his bed. When he still a whiny emo bitch, he didn’t even have a light source in his room. The only occasional light source was that of his iPod or laptop. To add to Vanessa’s misery, the room was painted black.
“No,” she said, purposely making the strap of her bra fall down her shoulder. She thought it made her look sexy, but in reality, her every move screamed WHORE!
“Liar,” Eric pouted. What’s worse than an emo kid turning into a normal boy turning into a half-homosexual?
“Well, you have your love handles…”
Eric jolted up, tears suddenly running down his face as he shrieked, “OH MY GOD, HOW CAN YOU LET ME EAT MORE THAN 800 CALORIES, VANNY!?” Then he ran to the spacious bathroom and jammed his finger down his throat, sobbing the entire time ‘cause he was such a fatty, fat, fatty and Vanessa needed someone as skinny as she was.
Vanessa giggled in a stupid girlish, cheerleader sort of way. She’d have a prince, be skinny forever and ever, and get rid of that emo bitch in a day!
Oh, yayz!
♠ ♠ ♠
Yo, this sucks. Guess what's next!?