I Can't Help You Fix Yourself But At Least I Can Say I Tried

I have to admit now, that bringing her on the bus, was probably the most stupid fucking decision I'd ever made. The more I thought about it. The more I couldn't believe what I'd done.

"It's up," Matt grumbled as he walked passed the bunk area towards me.

I was sitting at the table near the window. Johnny, Sarah, and Lacey sat silently across from me. I wanted to argue Matt's it comment, but it'd only infuriate him, and at the moment it was probably true. God only knew what she was coming down off of. "I'll be back," I muttered as I stood up. Matt took my seat and I headed back to the bunks.

Myranda rolled onto her side and scowled at me. I could see the hate in her eyes as she recognized me. "Where the hell am I?" she demanded after a moment. She propped herself up and looked at her surroundings.

I leaned back against some of the other bunks and I folded my arms over my chest. "We're on my tour bus."

She rolled her eyes. "Well thank you captain fucking obvious." She ran her fingers through her messy black and pink hair, "but we're moving. Where the hell are we going?"

"We have a show in San Diego, then we go back to LA."

"Let me off at the next gas station."

It wasn't a suggestion so much as a statement.

"You need help Myranda." I had no idea how she was going to react.

"I have to get back."

I didn't expect that. That was a calm reply. "Did you hear me?"

"Yeah I heard you," she exhasperated, "but you have no idea who I am, or what I need. And if I did need help, it sure as hell wouldn't be from you!"

Everyone who was at the front of the bus, had now migrated by us towards the back where the TV was. They even shut the doors. Not that it would help. She was yelling pretty loud. Our driver looked pretty tense as we moved closer to the front of the bus.

"Are we going to have a problem?" he asked when it was quiet for a moment.

Myranda sighed and leaned down to look out the windshield. "Just let me off at the next possible opportunity."

I stepped up beside her, forcing her to back away from the driver. "Don't stop," I told him as my hand encircled her wrist.

***

I glared at him. How dare he. I've never wanted to hit somebody so hard it my entire life. Who did he think he was? He simply stared back at me. If he could sense my fury he sure as hell wasn't showing it.

"You can glare like that all you want Myranda, but I wasn't leaving you on that bathroom floor in the club, and I'm sure as hell not leaving you in some random gas station."

I clenched my free hand at my side then released it. The bathroom floor? The last thing I remembered was Danielle and I joining Ehrin and his friends behind the club for a little pick me up. But either way, this character still had no right to even touch me.

"This is kidnapping," I snarled as I yanked my hand from his grasp. I wasn't entirely sure of the definition of kidnapping, but I was pretty sure this fell under that category.

A pretty blonde girl walked into the front area of the bus. She stopped and looked up, my eyes locking on hers before she glanced at Syn. "Oh, sorry," she said softly.

Syn's eyes softened. "Don't worry about it Gena."

I caught the look between them. If she was his girlfriend, he had alot of nerve bringing me on the bus as well.

"You want me to call the cops?" I asked him. Gena looked uncertain as to whether or not she should leave.

I could tell I was pushing his last button. "Go ahead," he growled, "but who are they going to believe, a bus full of us...or a drug addict?"

***

That hit home. Hard. It shouldn't have though. I knew what I was. But it hurt coming from someone who knew very little about me, and from someone I knew nothing of beyond his name, and I doubted it was his real name anyway.

I sat at the table on the bouncing bus drinking a cup of coffee that Gena had made me. Rather than avoid me like all of the others, she actually hung around after Syn and I's fight and talked. She was nervous, but she talked none the less.

"How are you feeling?" she asked me carefully as she sat down across from me. I couldn't look at her. Not directly anyway. She'd just gotten out of bed, but even so, her bleach blond hair was pulled slickly back into a pony tail. Her face unmarked of anything. Her eyes sparkled and he lip gloss made her lips look so soft. No wonder Syn was all over her.

"Alright I guess," I replied, glancing back out the side window.

"Syn's, different," she wrapped both hands around her coffee cup and slid the pads of her thumbs up and down along the side, "he seems like a hard ass. But he's really just a push over. You'll see. He only wants what's best for everyone."

I didn't wanna hear what she was saying. "How long have you two been dating?" I asked her. I didn't really wanna know the answer to that either. But, a small part of me did. I wanted to know if it was serious.

Gena stared at me for a moment without speaking. Then she smiled. "Me and Syn?"

I nodded, never looking directly at her beauty. I hated beautiful people. Not because they were beautiful, but because they always looked at you like you weren't.

"I'm not dating Syn," she laughed softly. "Zacky is my boyfriend."

That time I had to look at her. "Zacky?" It dawned on me for the first time, that of all the people on the bus right now, the only two I'd actually met were Syn and Gena.

"Yeah, here" she looked over her shoulder. "Zack!"

"You don't have to call him," I assured her. I didn't need to get to know these people.

A man, just slightly shorter and than Syn emerged from the back of the bus, closing the door behind him. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a misfits tshirt with the sleeves cut off. His hair was jet black like Syn's but sonsiderably shorter. He had guages in his hears, lip rings in his bottom lip and a septum piercing.

"What do you need?" he asked Gena as he made his way closer.

Gena smiled. "For you to officially meet someone. Zacky this is Myranda, Myranda, this is my boyfriend Zack Baker."

His beautiful eyes locked with mine. Anyone could get lost in those eyes. Except me. While I was admiring his good looks, I knew he was analyzing me. Simply taking in my appearance while things like drug addict, waste of skin, and bitch, ran through the back of his mind. No, he wasn't seeing me for me. He was seeing me for what I was.

However, he was nice enough to lie to me about it. He held out his hand. "Nice to meet you, welcome to our bus."

I hesitated but slipped my boney hand into his. "Sorry about being the bump in the road," I locked eyes with him again. "I wasn't given much choice."

He nodded slightly and let go of my hand before moving to the fridge. "Yeah well, Syn must see something in you. We don't occupy our time with people we don't give a shit about." He grabbed a couple bottles of beer and closed the fridge door with his hip.

"Yeah well, I'll be out of your way soon enough." I assured him. He didn't reply. Just nodded slightly again and headed back towards the back of the bus.

"He's right you know," Gena spoke softly again. "Syn, must see something in you, or he wouldn't waste his time."

I leaned back into the seat. Well, I didn't wanna waste anyone's time.

***

It'd been a couple hours since I'd talked to Myranda. I wanted to give her time to cool off. Time to think things over. We were parked behind the venue in San Diego and I was on my way back to the bus to see her. Val said she hadn't moved from the table since we'd stopped.

"SYN!!!"

I wanted to keep walking but I couldn't. I stopped and signed a few things through the fence before excusing myself. I punched in the code and the bus door wooshed open. I bounded up the stairs and turned to see the front of the bus was empty.

"Myranda!" I called out. I heard rustling near the back of the bus so I made my way back there. That was perfect, she was probably going through all our stuff.

"Myranda," I called out again. This time the door to the bathroom clicked open and she appeared in just a towel. Her black and pink hair dripped onto he shoulders.

"What?" she asked me.

I smirked. She was a little too far on the skinny side. But if she stopped abusing her body, it would most likely return to normal and I had no doubts that 'normal' would be very sexy.

"I...just didn't know where you were." I stammered. How did you tell someone to their face that you didn't really trust them?

She shifted her weight to the other foot. "Gena gave me a towel and said I could take a shower."

I nodded. "No that's fine...I just...I was worried."

She rolled her eyes at me. "That what? Maybe I went home?"

When she said it like that it made my concern small. She was right. I was the one keeping her from going home. Home was suppose to be eveyone's comfort zone. Well, most everyone. But, I didn't know anything about her home life either. She was probably just a spoiled little rich kid who got caught up in something she should have had enough sense to stay out of in the first place.

"You're right," I said after a moment. "When you're done I'll help you find a way home."

Her eyes locked with mine. For a moment, I swore I saw a flicker of life within them.

"Really?" she asked softly.

I nodded. If she wanted to go home, then I'd help her.

"Thanks," she actually smiled. "I'll be done in a few minutes." She closed the door and I sighed.

Great job Gates. Let her walk all over you. You know you'll regret this later.