I Can't Help You Fix Yourself But At Least I Can Say I Tried

I sighed in frustration as I waited in their dressing room while they were on stage. This was fucking ridiculous. Syn had promised me that he'd find me a way home after my shower. Yeah, that was over four hours ago. Now it was nearing midnight which meant that more than likely, I was going to end up spending the night with these people since I didn't have money to take a taxi or ride a bus for that long. Hell, I didn't even have my cell phone.

Talking in the hallway caught my attention. I sat on the bench sideways facing the door. The one I knew as Zacky opened the door first. I garnoured a nasty look from him before the rest of the band followed him into the dimly lit, dingy smelling room.

"How'd you get in here?" the tall one asked. He was shirtless and sweating like crazy. He was the drummer, it was obvious.

"The security guy let me in, I borrowed Gena's press pass." I pointed to the tag hanging on the loop of my jeans.

Syn smiled slyly, "and just what is it that you want?"

I rolled my eyes. "Are you serious? You said you were gonna help me get home."

That earned him strange looks from his band mates.

"I will," Syn took off his hat and bandana and ran his fingers through his hair before replacing the hat back onto his head. "After we go get something to eat, I'm starved."

My god he was obstenant.

"Look, I don't wanna be here, and you guys obviousy don't want me here, so please, help me, then I'll be out of your way."

"What do you need help with?"

I turned to look at the biggest guy of the group. He was the second tallest. His arms were huge and he had sparkly platinum fangs.

"Matt - " Syn started.

Matt. The huge man did have a name.

"She needs money obviously," Zacky lit up his cigarette. "We told you not to bring her."

I glanced back at Syn. He'd went against his bandmates wishes?

"Look, let's go eat, I'm sure you're hungry," he tried to grab me by the wrist but I pulled my arm away. His friends were right. Why did I need him to get the hell out of here. And I sure wasn't going to take his money.

"Never mind." I stood up and unhooked Gena's press pass and placed it into the palm of Syn's hand before heading to the door of the dressing room. They watched me go, but no one said a word. I was heading back through the parking lot where the buses were when Val and Lacey spotted me.

"Myranda! Where are you going?"

I knew it was Val's sweet voice. And I was beginning to wonder how her and Matt were 'soooo' in love. They seemed like total opposites to me.

I turned around to face her but kept walking backwards. "Home."

"Wait," she yelled before jogging towards me. "Listen the guys - "

"Don't want me here, and you know what, I don't blame them. So thank you for attempting to make me feel better, but it's not going to work."

Val snapped her mouth shut and removed her avenged zip up hoodie before handing it to me. "It gets cold at night."

I didn't wanna take it, but I knew I'd need it. Especially if I ended up having to walk for a very long time.

"Thanks." I took it from her and she actually smiled softly.

"Be careful."

I nodded my head and turned around and began walking for the fence again. I needed to get the hell out of there.

***

I flipped the press pass over in my hand before glancing back at the door.

"Brian want a beer?"

I glanced over at Rev who was searching through the cooler on the ground. "No."

They all looked up at me like I was nuts.

"No, I'm gonna go find Myranda,"

"Brian, she's a mess," Johnny stated softly. "Her being here is not going to benefit you...or her especially if she doesn't wanna be here."

What Johnny said made sense. But I seriously doubted she'd go off on her own. She probably went back to the bus to cool off and wait. Besides, that's where the girls were.

The door handle turned and the door clicked open. "Hey," Val smiled as she and Lacey entered the room. "How was the show?" she asked no one in particular.

"Fuckin amazing," Zacky sank down on to the bench against the wall.

Val smiled softly and looked up at me. "Did Myranda not like the show?"

I glanced amongst the guys, before looking back at Val. "She didn't watch the show."

"Oh," Val moved aside as Lacey moved to sit by Johnny. "Well, she wasn't on the bus with us."

"No," Matt shook his head then cocked it angrily at me. "That's because she was in here, probably looking for money."

Yeah, I loved the guys, but they were starting to piss me off. "If she was looking for money Matt, she wouldn't have hung around until we were done for us to catch her."

That seemed to shut him up for a moment. I needed out of here, before I said or did something I knew I was going to regret. I grabbed my bandana off the bench before heading towards the door. "I'm going back to the bus to see her."

"Brian," Val looked at me confused. "She's not there." She was no doubt gauging my reaction before continuing. "She left."

"Where'd she go?" I asked quietly.

All she could do was shrug her shoulders. "I don't know. But I gave her my sweater in case it got chilly."

That was Val for ya. The caring one. The one who mothered all of us. We really wouldn't be where we are if it wasn't for her. I nodded slightly and took off down the hall at a jog. I had no idea how, but maybe, just maybe I'd be able to find her.

***

I walked a few blocks before stopping. Once again, I'd let my pride get in the way. Where the hell did I expect to end up? I didn't have even a dollar for a phone call.

The darkness and chill of the night began to set in as I sat on a bench on the sidewalk. I slipped Val's sweater on and did it up, thankfully, we were close to the same size.
I sat there for a long, long time. Two buses came and went and I denied them both. People walked by and stared at me. I curled up tighter in the sweater, hoping that would keep them away.

Eventually, another bus rolled up. The door opened and the older man behind the wheel got up. I looked through all the windows and noticed his bus was empty.

"Ma'am are you okay?"

I looked up at him and managed a smile. "Yeah I'm alright."

"Are you sure?" he asked again. "You've been sitting here for hours. Are you lost? Do you need a ride somewhere?"

His large hands were calloused and slightly purple from poor blood circulation and the wrinkles around his mouth and eyes indicated he lived a hard life.

I shook my head. "I don't have any money."

"Don't worry about that," he smiled softly. "My shift is almost over, I'll give you a ride."

I didn't know where I was going to go but I slowly got up from the bench. My bones cracking and my muscles groaning in response to having to move after sitting in the same position for so long.

"Myranda!"

I was almost on the bus when someone suddenly grabbed the doors to keep them from closing.

"Sorry sir," Syn hopped up the steps and handed the bus driver a twenty. "It's for both of us."

The man looked at me curiously and I nodded. He seemed to get the hint because he closed the doors.

"Where are you planning to go?" Syn asked me as he sat down in the seat across from me.

"The bus depot," I said loud enough for the driver to hear. I then tore my eyes from the window. "How the hell did you find me?"

Syn leaned back in his seat to catch his breath. "I'm not gonna lie, I just spent hours walking around looking for you," he turned his head towards me. "How are you going to get money to buy a bus ticket back to LA?"

That was a very good question. I broke our gaze and looked back out the side window. "I don't know yet."

We rode the bus in silence after that for forty five minutes until the driver was stopping at the bus depot. He opened the doors and Syn climbed out first.

"Are you going to be alright miss?"

I nodded my head and smiled sweetly. People like him were few and far between. "Yes, but thank you very much." He nodded slightly and waited until I was on the sidewalk before he closed the doors.

"Come on, I'll buy you a ticket," Syn grabbed me by the hand and we headed into the building.

"You don't have to," I tried to pull his hand from mine but he wouldn't let go. "Really, it's not necessary."

"Yes it is," he walked directly up to the only open window and proceeded with getting me a ticket. When he was done he pulled me over to the chairs and we sat down.

An awkward silence hit the air and I fidgeted with my hands in my lap. What was I suppose to say? Thanks for kidnapping me? Or do I thank him for trying to help? Or do I just say goodbye?

"Thank you for the ticket," I mustered.

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and chuckled. "Yeah well, if I hadn't...kidnapped you, I wouldn't have had to buy the ticket in the first place."

That was the absolute truth. I debated for the longest time on what to say next. Finally, I just decided to come out with it. "Umm thank you," I glanced over at him, "for being concerned about me."

Now he didn't look like he was quite sure what to say. "Well, you didn't seem too concerned about you, so I thought maybe I should be."

Not what I was looking to hear. The bus I was suppose to get on was now loading and I suddenly couldn't wait to get on it. "Well thank you again," I stood up and grabbed my ticket from him as he offered it to me.

"Here," he stood up and produced a pen and wrote a number down on the back of my hand. "It's my cell number," he locked eyes with me. "Call me if you need anything."

I nodded softly before he smiled. "Or if you ever just wanna see me again."

I smiled and freed my hand from his before heading off to the bus, glancing back at him once along the way. Even if I didn't wanna see him again, something told me that I would.