Scream To Be Heard

I pushed the cold razor into the pale flesh on my wrist, hissing with a mixture of pleasure and pain as the ruby red droplets of blood began to appear where I had sliced open my skin.

A small smile found its way onto my face as I created another angry red line on my arm, the anger, frustration, sadness, and pressure working their way out through my blood.

"Quinn, are you home?" I barely heard my mom over the Bring Me The Horizon CD I had playing on my stereo.

"Fuck" I muttered, opening my nightstand and shoving the blade into the bottom of it before grabbing a random sweatshirt off the floor, throwing it on, and opened a book, trying to make it appear, trying to make it appear as if I hadn't been slicing open my wrist.

"There you are" my mom said, poking her head through my bedroom door, "What do you want to eat tonight?"

"Whatever you want is fine"I won't eat it anyway

"Dinner should be ready in about an hour" she said, the sound of her heels against the hard wood floor fading the further she got from my room.

I let out a breath I didn't even realize I had been holding, that was far too close for my liking, although the adrenaline rush was amazing.

I peeled the now sticky sweatshirt sleeve from my arm, wincing a bit at the pulling. I'll have to wash it now, great.

As soon as I was finished bandaging my arm, Seduction by Alesana blasted out of my phone, how did Tyler always know when I was doing something I shouldn't? "Hello?" I answered the phone, annoyance clear in my voice.

"Well hello to you too love" he replied, a smirk obvious through his voice.

"What do you want?" I sighed, knowing where this was headed.

"Did you eat?"

"My mom's making dinner right now" I replied, smugly.

"You better eat all of it" he said, the threat dangling in the air.

"Of course I will"not "I know the deal baby" when he figured out that I wasn't eating, he made me promise to at least try to get better or he would break up with me.

"Don't you dare throw it back up" he added, his tone bordering on murderous.

"I'll do my best" I sighed, thanking whatever cosmic power that he didn't find out about my cutting yet, a boy can only handle so much at once.

"I'm gonna call your mom later and make sure you ate, you don't wanna end up in rehab, do you?"

"I'm not sure what I want anymore" I answered truthfully, each cut or skipped meal was a silent cry for help I wasn't sure I wanted.

"Whatever you want, I'll get it for you love, you know that" he said, failing at his attempt to hide the tears in his voice, I never purposefully hurt him, and it killed me that every time I hurt myself, it hurt him.

"I've got to go eat, I'll call you the minute I'm done though"

"I love you Quinn" he whispered into the phone.

"Forever and ever babe" I whispered back, before hanging up, curling into a ball on my bed and quietly letting the tears fall.