To Make It Better
One of One.
It took a while before I realized what I had done. My bookcase was emptied and books were scattered around my floor along with picture frames and clothing. My bed was torn away from its contents and all that was left on the pearl white sheets were specs of blood left from my wrist.
But it only took a second for me to realize who really had done this. He was the reason why this had happened, why my room was completely abused along with my insides. I felt like I had been completely taken of my feeling of happiness and innocence. He had taken then with out a second thought and played with them plucking, stringing and pulling. And then he twisted and pulled them out until there was nothing left but anger and depression.
And leaving me to feel like the fool. I had been too young, too kind, and too innocent to know. And of course, too vulnerable. He only wanted me as a rebound, as prey for his own selfish doing. I had liked him too much to notice any of it.
And at last when I had come back again pleading for him to forgive me for making him angry he finally told me the ugly truth. And then he left. Without a second thought he left me to cry and cut until I was drained with nothing but numb. He had a real love but it wasn’t me, it never had been and never will be.
I looked up at my mirror to find a stranger standing in front of it. It wasn’t me, it couldn’t be. Make up was smeared down my face like thick paint on a canvas. I used to never wear make up but he said it would make me look pretty. But I couldn’t have looked anything less pretty at the moment. I grabbed a t shirt from the floor and dried my eyes. The t shirt smelt like him and it made me sick. I threw the shirt back onto the ground and looked back up on my self. I looked like me again, my real self.
I was finished with him. With this pain he had caused. I looked down at my wrist. I was done doing this to myself, with him doing this to me. The cuts would heal and scars would be left. Scars of memories I would have to later forget. Maybe not now, but soon. I had to, to make it better.
But it only took a second for me to realize who really had done this. He was the reason why this had happened, why my room was completely abused along with my insides. I felt like I had been completely taken of my feeling of happiness and innocence. He had taken then with out a second thought and played with them plucking, stringing and pulling. And then he twisted and pulled them out until there was nothing left but anger and depression.
And leaving me to feel like the fool. I had been too young, too kind, and too innocent to know. And of course, too vulnerable. He only wanted me as a rebound, as prey for his own selfish doing. I had liked him too much to notice any of it.
And at last when I had come back again pleading for him to forgive me for making him angry he finally told me the ugly truth. And then he left. Without a second thought he left me to cry and cut until I was drained with nothing but numb. He had a real love but it wasn’t me, it never had been and never will be.
I looked up at my mirror to find a stranger standing in front of it. It wasn’t me, it couldn’t be. Make up was smeared down my face like thick paint on a canvas. I used to never wear make up but he said it would make me look pretty. But I couldn’t have looked anything less pretty at the moment. I grabbed a t shirt from the floor and dried my eyes. The t shirt smelt like him and it made me sick. I threw the shirt back onto the ground and looked back up on my self. I looked like me again, my real self.
I was finished with him. With this pain he had caused. I looked down at my wrist. I was done doing this to myself, with him doing this to me. The cuts would heal and scars would be left. Scars of memories I would have to later forget. Maybe not now, but soon. I had to, to make it better.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hope you guys liked it. Sorry if it sounded rushed but with school beginning soon I didn’t know any other time to do this and I really wanted to get this in. Inspiration hit me like a fucking train.