Oh My, My, My

When we got to the van, I gave Kenny the keys so I could sit in the back with Grace. He raised an eyebrow in question but got into the driver’s seat without a word. Grace and I sat in the middle row while Eric sat up front with Kenny and everyone else squished into the last row.

I grabbed Grace’s hand, a silent reminder that I wasn’t pulling away—completely—and stuck our clasped hands in the front pocket of my sweatshirt like I had many times before. There was an unexplainable silence in the van as we left Phoenix, in route to our hometown. After a few minutes Garrett and Pat started talking, breaking the unseen tension in the air. Everyone fell into their own conversations, including Kenny but he continuously glanced in the rearview, silently asking questions that I didn’t have the answers to.

Grace fell asleep on my shoulder. I couldn’t help but glance down and watch her. If I didn’t know any better, I would think I was falling in love with her. But I did know better. I knew that I, of all people, was the least likely to fall in love. I let my mind wander, thinking of all the memories I had of Grace, my best friend, the girl I liked, the girl I couldn’t have.

It was raining. Kennedy and I were on our way home from the park, skipping and jumping in puddles. We rounded the block, both of our houses coming into view and I couldn’t help but smile as an twelve-year-old Grace waved to us from the sidewalk in front of her yard.

She held a tray of flowers, helping her mom carry them into the garage. Mrs. Brock loved gardening and often enlisted Grace’s help. Grace didn’t mind. She liked spending time with her mom, and as much as she would probably deny it, she loved flowers.

Grace was by no means a girly-girl. In fact, she disliked many ’girly’ things like dresses and makeup and anything that could be considered prissy. But, I could tell she liked flowers—they made her smile.

“Hey, Grace,” I greeted as Kenny and I walked up the driveway.

“Hi, John.”

“Kennedy, John, would you two help us out here?” Mrs. Brock asked.

We each grabbed a crate from the back of the Brock family Subaru. In the garage, Kenny set down his crate and went back out to grab another while I followed. On my way back out into the light rain, I noticed Grace kneeling by a group of flowers, placing them into bunches. I joined her, kneeling as she was. I didn’t say anything, didn’t make a move to help—I didn’t know what to do. I just watched as she handles the flowers delicately.

“What’s you favorite flower, John?” she asked after a moment of comfortable silence, nothing but the sound of the rain gently pounding on the pavement.

“I don’t know. They’re all the same to me.” She smiled lightly. “What’s you favorite?” I shot back.

She stopped moving things around, a single flower in her hand. She spun the stem, smiling before she met my eyes. “This one. Daisies.”

“Why?”

“’Cause they’re simple but beautiful, common but eccentric. They can be many different colors but they always remind me of the sun,” she spoke, her voice low but honest.

“You coming?” Kenny asked from the edge of the garage. He wanted to see my dad’s old guitar that I had found in my attic.

“Yeah, I’m coming,” I said as I got to my feet. “See you later, Daisy.”

She smiled, a bit of red in her cheeks as she waved. I’ve been calling her that ever since.

When we got back into town, Kenny dropped everyone off at their houses before heading in the direction of ours.

“So…” He obviously had something to say, but didn’t know how to say it.

“Yeah, I know. You want to know what happened earlier, just like everyone else. But I don’t know what to say,” I said, broaching the subject I knew would come up anyway.

“Well, yeah I do want to know what happened.” He glanced in the rearview at Grace, who was still asleep on my shoulder. “You love her.”

I was expecting anything to come out of his mouth, except that. “We’re friends, of course I love her. We grew up together,” I said nonchalantly, not ready to delve into my feelings toward his little sister.

“Come on. Stop lying to me. I’d expect that from her, but not from you. I see the way you look at her. I know you love her as a friend, and I used to think that was it. That you were so protective of her because she was like your sister, and that may have been true. But now I can see it’s different. You act differently around her, like you don’t want to let onto the fact that you like her as more than friends.”

I stayed silent, not able to argue with his valid observations, and when I didn’t say anything, he continued. “Today it became obvious, not only to me but to everyone else, too. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve all seen you guys flirt and hold hands. But tonight, tonight was…different.

“Thank you for what you did back there, stepping in when it was obvious she was uncomfortable around that guy. But, I have to be honest it scared the shit out of me. It looked like you would have seriously hurt him if he hadn’t of left.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled.

He nodded his head, pausing before he continued. “She loves you, too, you know.”

At my dumbfounded expression, he smiled. I couldn’t wrap my head around his statement. I had never considered that she would like me back, let alone love me. And, beyond that, I couldn’t picture Grace telling her brother if she did.

“She didn’t have to tell me for me to know,” he stated, his eyes moving from mine to his sister’s sleeping from in the rearview mirror. “She’s always had a crush on you. Why do you think I never wanted her to hang out with us?” He laughed lightly to himself.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, obviously missing the joke.

“You want to know how I found out she liked you?” I just stared ahead, waiting for him to continue. “We were horsing around one day, after you went home. She was teasing me about that girl that we both liked in, like, the seventh grade. Remember her? Well, I started tickling her to get her to stop. She begged me to stop; I said I would if she would admit that she liked you. She refused, at first, so I tickled her harder. Finally, she gave in and admitted it.

“I made her say ‘I love John O’Callaghan.’ When I let her go, she tried to take it back, but I knew it was true,” he relayed the story with a grin.

“So, she was what, twelve?” I asked, realizing that his story had to have been shortly after the day I began calling her Daisy. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Maybe. But that doesn’t mean it’s not true.” At my unbelieving expression he went on, “Last night, when I asked her if something was going on between you two, you know what she said to me? She said, and I quote, “but he’s John, the infamous ladies man. You really think something would ever happen between us?” He raised an eyebrow, waiting for my response.

I didn’t know why he told me that. I didn’t know why Grace had told Kenny that.

“Look. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I know you guys have feelings for each other. I can’t say I like that fact, but I get it. Let’s just get one thing straight.”

We were pulling onto our street, so I guess it had come time for the subliminal threats, before Grace woke up.

He glanced once again between Grace and me in the rearview before continuing. “I know your not expecting what I’m about to say, but please listen. I’m thankful she already knows who you are, probably better than I do,” he said with a somewhat hurt, but knowing expression. “So, I know she knows what to expect from you. But, please, don’t prove her right.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I had now idea what he was trying to say.

“It means, that although I will kick your ass if you ever hurt her, I know that I wont have to. I know you’d never hurt her, intentionally. I can see what you’re trying to do. Your pulling away before you can get too close. I don’t know if you’re doing it because of me, but that only proves her right. And it can only hurt her. She doesn’t expect you to love her. But she expects you to be there for her.”

“I still don’t get what you’re trying to say,” I admitted, completely dumbfounded.

“I’m just saying, don’t pull away from her, be there for her.” When we had pulled into my driveway, Kenny turned in his seat to look at me. He winced then said, “I won’t stop you.”

He got out of the van, and a moment later, I followed, picking Grace up and carrying her to her room. When I set her on her bed, her eyelids fluttered open and glanced around until they landed on me. She grinned before letting her eyes slowly close again.

I kissed her forehead, covered her with a blanket, and started for the door.

“John?” she asked sleepily. I turned in the doorway with a finger to my lips, willing her to go back to sleep, but she wouldn’t give in. “Stay with me. Please?”

How could I say no?

I climbed onto her bed, spreading out the blanket. She immediately turned so her head was on my chest, letting her arm rest lightly over the place closest to my heart. I grabbed her hand, holding it gently while I rubbed circle on her back with my free hand, lulling her back to sleep.