Chasing Fireflies

“We’re driving on the Loneliest Road in America! Oh yes we are! We’re driving on the Loneliest Road in America! Oh yes we are! We’re driving down the road and there’s absolutely nothing to see! Oh we’re driving down the road to---I got nothin’.” Garrett smirked at us as he slowly sat back down in his seat. He had previously unbuckled his seatbelt to sit up and share with us his lovely rendition of this beautiful song that he had just made up.

“Tennessee,” Rebecca said, turning around in her seat.

“What?” Garrett asked.

“Tennessee,” Rebecca repeated. She flipped a fly-away strand of hair out of her face. “That’s how you could finish your song. You know, …there’s absolutely nothing to see! Oh we’re driving down the road to Tennessee!”

Garrett pointed his right index finger at Rebecca. “You, my love, are one smart cookie. And a pretty pleasant singer, actually.”

Stacey laughed. “Anything is better than your singing, Garrett.”

Garrett bawked, offended. “Excuse me? We’re going to be driving for five or more hours. Someone had to do something to fill the awkward silence that was occurring in this car.”

Stacey waved Garrett off with a single flick of her hand. “Whatever, Garrett.”

Garrett stared at Stacey, but didn’t say any more. Before another awkward silence could fill the van, Garrett opened his mouth again. But before he could utter a single syllable (or note, whichever), I cut in. “Don’t even think about singing to us in rhyming verses again, Garrett.”

Garrett flapped shut his mouth, then opened it again to speak. “You’re just jealous, Laurel,” he told me matter-of-factly.

Still staring straight ahead at the road, being a look-out for Jared, I replied, “Now what in the world would I have to be jealous of, Garrett? Is it your amazing vocal talent? Is it your quirky remarks? Your sarcastic comments? Or how about the fact that in the past five minutes you have picked your nose twice, without being noticed. Well, except by me, of course.”

I saw Garrett glare at me through the rearview mirror, so I smirked at him. “Ahem,” I said, raising my eyebrows when Garrett looked at me.

“What?” he asked.

“The Kleenexes are beneath your seat. I’d suggest you take your boogers off of the car door and place them in one.”

Garrett sighed, took out a Kleenex, and carefully put his snot into it. Then, with a sly grin he threw the Kleenex at me.

“EW! GROSS, GARRETT!” I yelled. I shoved the Kleenex off of me forcefully, then turned around and glared at Garrett, who I found laughing hysterically, slapping his leg and all. “That was not funny, Garrett.”

“Oh yes it was, Laurel.” Garrett was laughing so hard that he could barely get his words out. “It was majorly funny.”

I shook my head. “I really don’t understand how my best friends are five guys.”

Jared laughed. “I really don’t understand why you put up with us, either. I would have dropped us as soon as Garrett joined the group.”

I shrugged. “You’re really nice, Garrett makes me laugh, Kennedy gives great hugs, John’s super outgoing, and Pat…well who else would be at my beck and call when it came to Fruit Punch Capri Suns?”

Kennedy burst out laughing. “That’s why you’re friends with us? Because we give great hugs, can make you laugh, and give you free drinks?”

I rolled my eyes. “No! Obviously not. You’re good for other things as well.”

“Like what?” Pat asked.

“Like…Jared gives good advice, John’s had so many relationship problems that I can go to him with boy issues, and…” I let off, terrified at the thought that had suddenly popped into my mind.

“What? What is it?” Jared was suddenly alert and sneaking glances between me and the road.

“What?” I asked, still dazed from the shock.

“You look like a ghost. You’re so pale. Are you alright?”

I thought for a minute. “No. No, I’m not. Can you pull over?”

Jared swerved off the road and came to a stop. “Do you need anything? Some water? Is it a headache? I have Tylenol.”

I shook my head. “No. I--I just need to think for a minute.”

Pat’s head came around the corner of my seat. “What about a Fruit Punch Capri Sun? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

I grimaced, and tears started pricking the sides of my face. Forcing them back, I turned around. “Rebecca, can I talk to you outside?” I didn’t wait for an answer, I just bolted out of the car and to the back, making sure to go far away from the car so no one could hear us. I looked up just in time to see Rebecca running towards me.

And then I started crying.

“What is it? Oh my gosh, honey, are you alright?” Rebecca pulled me into a hug and squeezed me tightly. I kept crying into her chest and she rubbed my back. “You can talk whenever you want to. I’ll wait.”

After a minute, I pulled back. Taking a deep breath, I let it out and said, “Okay. I’m ready to talk.”

Rebecca smiled at me. “What is it, honey?”

“Look, I have five guy friends, so it’s really hard to talk to people about this kind of stuff. And I know we just met this morning and all, but…I can trust you, right?”

“Yeah,” Rebecca said. “You most certainly can. Now what is it, Laurel?”

“I--I was in the van,” I started. I already knew I was going to have a hard time getting this out. “And…uh, something occurred to me.” I gulped, pausing. Rebecca nodded at me to go on. “I realized something.” I paused again. “I can’t even tell you why it came into my mind but now that I’ve realized it, I know it’s true. It’s so real, and true, and scary and I don’t know what to think about it.”

“Well, what is it?” Rebecca asked.

I looked up into her caring eyes. “I think I like Pat.”

She looked surprisingly calm. “Why do you think that?”

“I was just listing those things and then a thought popped into my head: Pat’s the perfect guy. And--oh God, Rebecca, he is. What other guy would laugh about poop stories and give me all the Capri Suns I’d ever want and stand up for me without me even asking him to? He’s seriously everything I’ve ever wanted in a guy, and that really scares me, Rebecca. That really, really scares me.” I took a deep breath, thankful I had gotten all of that out without much trouble.

Rebecca just stared at me for a minute. “I--I don’t know what to say, Laurel. I’d say…go for it.”

“But how do you know? How do you know it’s worth the risk?”

“You don’t,” Rebecca said. “But that’s the beauty of it. You’ll never know until you try. Look,” she said, “I don’t know you very well, and I certainly don’t know much about Pat, but from what I’ve witnessed today he really cares about you. I have no clue in what kind of way, but you just have to follow your heart, okay?”

I nodded my head. “Yeah. Okay.” I pointed my thumb back towards the van. “Let’s go back now.” Rebecca followed me back to the van, and hugged me right before I got back in.

“It’s going to be fine, babe. Just breathe, okay?” I nodded.

“So, is everything okay now?” Pat asked, smiling at me.

I bravely turned back to look at him. I forced out a small smile. “Yeah, Pat. Everything’s great.”