The Roots That Tied to My Feet

Melanie tapped her pencil on the easel before sketching the Eiffel Towers lean angles. The sun was barely over the horizon and the blanket that was wrapped securely around her shoulders was the only thing keeping her warm in the cool winter air.

The cool wind blowing her hair around her face somehow made her thoughts calm and let her finger do the drawing without any specific thought. It had been forever since she had drawn or painted but when she saw the sketch pad on Ben’s shelf she knew she wouldn’t be able to control herself. Sometime in this morning she had found out how to draw for her and her alone once again.

She smiled as she felt arms wrap tightly around her waist and the scruff on Ben’s chin rubbed against her neck. “Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered into her ear.

Melanie felt her lips pull up at their edges, “Hi baby.”

Ben pulled the top of the blanket from over her shoulder and exposed her bare shoulder. He moved the small strap to her bra down her arm and pressed his lips across her skin. He moved up her neck and she turned it the other way, elongating it and giving him more room to kiss her. He found her sensitive spot and began nibbling and sucking making her eyes close.

She knew that he was smiling and he let out a breath, causing goose bumps on her arms. He bit her earlobe softly and she let out a small moan. “Ben,” she breathed.

He moved to where he was straddling her waist and she pulled him inside the blanket. “It feels weird being on top,” he laughed. “And it kind of hurts…”

Melanie giggled before they swapped positions. He wrapped his strong arms around her thin waist and she used her finger to trace patters on his bare chest with her finger nail. She wrote out ‘I love you’ and softly bit her lip. She looked into Ben’s blue eyes and smiled as she saw a loving look in his eyes. “Your drawing is beautiful,” he smiled.

“Thank you,” Melanie said softly, nuzzling into his warm chest.

“I didn’t know you could draw like that,” Ben whispered.

“I stopped drawing a while ago…this is the first time I have in years.”

“Why?”

Melanie shrugged even though she knew the answer; at the time she drew for John and he didn’t care and therefore neither did she. But now she knew how to be an independent person and she drew because she loved it. “I didn’t have time,” she said though it was a complete excuse.

“Well, you my darling need to make more time because you are extremely talented,” Ben replied and she could hear his sincerity.

Melanie lifted her head and looked into his eyes with a small smile on her lips and a blush on her cheeks. She pressed her lips to his and pushed her flat stomach against his tight abs. He wrapped his arms tightly around her before lifting her and laying them on the balcony in his bedroom. She let her fingers get lost in his soft brown hair as his tongue explored the contours of her mouth.

She moaned as she felt his body push against her and she bit her lip. The hardest part of being with Ben for her was not sleeping with him. Once the lie had slipped from her lips years ago she had kept her vow, ironically. She felt as if she owed it to herself because it was once what she wanted.

When Melanie was thirteen years old she sat in the pews of a church and the pastor preached about purity. He told them about how sex was God’s gift to those who were truly in love and how it was for wedded couples. It was a present and he offered the chance to make a promise to wait for true love—marriage. But in high school her hormones had made her forget about the promise she had made and she let her lust get the best of her—but in her own defense she did feel as if she was in love with John. Hell, she once planned on marrying the boy.

Ben bit on the skin of Melanie’s collar bone as she ran her hands teasingly down his back. She arched herself into him as he ran his tongue down the crevice between her breasts. She felt his hands reach around her back and unbuckle her lacy brazier. She involuntarily gasped as his warm hands replaced the material over her cold skin.

Ben chuckled and pressed his lips back to hers eagerly, allowing her tongue into his mouth. Their tongues danced in perfect harmony and Melanie savored the mint taste of him. She placed her hands on his hips and ran them over his rear.

Melanie smiled and Ben pulled her into his chest after a few more moments of fooling around. They lay on the cold concrete before Ben gathered her in his arms and carried her to his soft bed. She smiled, “Much better.”

Ben groaned and tightened his arms around her tan waist, “Baby, do you have to go home tomorrow? You can just stay here with me. I’ll take you back after New Years.”

“I need to spend time with my mommy,” Melanie replied. “If she wasn’t sick you know I’d be here in a heartbeat though, honey.”

“You’ll be able to spend a lot of quality time with her though, that’ll be good for you two,” he smiled.

“Yeah, I need to get it in now, I don’t know how much time I have left,” she said sorrowfully.

Ben placed his hand on her cheek, “Don’t take any moment for granted.”

She bit her lip softly, “When are you coming back to Arizona?”

Melanie would be lying if she said that she wasn’t nervous of being alone back home. Arizona held so many feelings for her that she wasn’t able to deal with yet and she looked at Ben as her security blanket. She was worried that if something happened to her mom she would lose it and Ben wouldn’t be there to hold her together as he had been for many nights.

“After New Years…I’ll be back by the sixth,” he said softly. “It’s only a little while. New Years is in a month, so we’ll be okay. You can call me anytime you need me. And you know that if something happened John would be there in a heartbeat.”

Melanie nodded her head, “Yeah, he would be. But who knows, he may be with Lucy so I may need Kenny to look out for me for a little.”

“Mel, if you needed John at any time any day I promise you he would be there,” Ben said simply. “He loves you. He always will.”

She chewed her lip gently, “Is Emily your John O’Callaghan, Ben?”

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Did you love her when you were younger? I feel like there’s history there…and I feel like she doesn’t like me very much,” Melanie said honestly. She nestled into Ben’s strong arms.

“Emily and I dated for a while,” Ben answered truthfully.

“How long is a while?”

“Three years…” He replied nervously.

Melanie looked up at him insecurely, “We’ve been dating for three years.”

Ben placed his hand on either side of her face cupping her cheeks gently, “Melanie, I love you, okay? Do not worry about anything. Emily is nothing to me now, like John, she meant something at one point but things change…people change and I fell in love with you, okay baby?”

She smiled at his sincerity feeling her worry begin to calm, but she became nervous once again. “Did you ever have sex with her?”

She felt Ben sigh and he closed his eyes, “We were young and dumb, but yeah, I did.”

“Were you a virgin?”

“Yes.”

Melanie felt her stomach tighten and she was suddenly glad she had never told Ben about her and John’s encounter. She would never want him to feel as unconfident as she felt at this moment. She was jealous and angry that another girl had seen her fiancé naked. She was livid that he had given another girl pleasure when that was supposed to simply be for her. She was guilty because she was a huge hypocrite.

“That’s okay, you know,” Melanie said quietly. “I understand.”

“Babe, it was a long time ago…just remember that. I love you more than I ever loved her,” he whispered genuinely.

“I still don’t think she likes me,” she chuckled, trying to ease the tension.

“She’s a snob, she doesn’t like anyone,” Ben laughed.

“Hey, she’s your best friend.”

“No, you’re my best friend,” he clarified.

“She’s gorgeous,” Melanie said diffidently.

“So are you, sweetie. Do not worry about her, okay?” Ben said tightening his grasp and kissing her hair. “I love my little American girl.”

Melanie laughed and tried to control her nerves and uncertainty. Ben loved her and her only—and she loved him and him only. Their pasts didn’t matter. Their only care was for the future.

“Wanna know a secret?” Ben snickered.

“What’s that?” Melanie grinned, crawling onto his chest.

“Emily had really bad teeth when we were younger,” he laughed. “You know the stereotype of English people having horrible teeth? Emily was the poster child.”

She laughed with him before flashing him a toothy grin, “I never even had braces.”

Ben kissed her lips, “Neither did I which means neither will our children.”

Melanie felt her breath catch, “Our children?”

He looked her nervously as he realized the words that had just left his lips, “Well, yeah I mean…we’re going to have a family soon.”

She looked into his blue eyes and really realized what this all meant. She would be like her own mother soon—sacrificing her time and money for children. She would have a baby growing in her womb possibly within the next few years that would be a product of her and Ben. They would forever have a tie together. They would be a true family—it had all seemed so surreal until now, “How many kids are we going to have?”

Ben smiled lightly, “I was thinking three. Two boys, and of course a little girl. We could have a dog for them to play with—a golden retriever. We could move out of New York if you wanted and into the suburbs. The city isn’t really the best place for a family.”

She smiled at him as she realized he was serious. He was ready to begin their life together. He was ready for the leap of faith. “That sounds perfect, Ben.”

“We could even move back to Arizona if it’s what you want, Melanie. Anything you want. I’m ready to be your husband and to make you happy for the rest of your life—I want to be that man,” he said seriously.

Melanie pressed her lips to his firmly, passion pouring through her lips, “You already are that man, Ben. You are the perfect man and you’re all mine.”