The Roots That Tied to My Feet

Hey, it’s Ben I can’t get to the phone right now so leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

Melanie sighed as she lay back on her bed and put the receiver to her ear, “Hey baby, so I haven’t talked to you in a few days and I just wanted to see if you were okay. Well, I hope you’re having a good time and I suppose I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I’m going to a party tonight, so don’t bother calling, but I love you. Happy New Years.”

Melanie hung up her phone and looked at the time: 7:30. If she wanted to be on time to Kennedy and Charlie’s party she and Haley would have to start getting ready soon. She promised she’d meet John there by nine. She began walking down the hallway quietly, enjoying the silence of the home. Her mother and father were at an office party leaving her and Haley alone for the night. She walked through the halls and as she passed a mirror she couldn’t help but to feel nervous as she looked at her reflection.

She pulled a strand of her newly dyed blonde hair and twirled it around her finger. Earlier that night Melanie had gone to CVS and bought hair dye instantaneously simply because John had told her he missed it. She knew it was nearly pathetic that she was hoping her hair could magically bring things back to the way things used to be—and she knew they never would with the ring that was on her left finger.

Melanie walked to Haley’s bedroom and entered without knocking. She was looking at the ground but as soon as she heard a scream she looked up. “Oh my God!” She exclaimed, covering her eyes and slamming the door behind her as she ran out.

She tried to wipe the visual of Garrett’s naked butt from on top of her sister’s own naked frame but she was now scarred. Melanie walked into her bedroom quickly and made her way into her bathroom and hopped into the shower.

In all honesty, she wasn’t upset that her sister and Garrett were having sex. She knew that she acted tough and protective over Haley but if anyone was going to be with her she wanted it to be Garrett—he was a really great guy and she knew that Haley loved him. She just didn’t expect them to be doing it when Melanie was just next door.

Melanie washed her hair and shaved her body bare before hopping out of the shower and blow-drying her blonde hair. It was nice to see it again—she really felt like herself again. The girl she had always been. She stepped out of her bathroom after putting on a strapless bra and boy short underwear. She wasn’t surprised when she saw Haley sitting on her bed, a shameful look on her face. Haley’s eyes brightened when she looked at her.

“Melanie, you—your hair looks great,” Haley said softly, a soft smile on her lips.

“Thanks,” she replied shortly. To say the least, she was embarrassed. She was embarrassed that she had walked in on her sister getting it on with her boyfriend. And she was embarrassed that she saw one of her oldest friend’s bare, pale butts. “So, uh, what the hell was going on in there?”

Haley bit her lip and looked down, “I—uh, well, we…” she sighed. “I was about to lose my virginity to Garrett.”

“Did you not realize that I was in the next room?” Melanie groaned, as she looked through her closet. Tonight was a black and white party and she searched for a black party dress.

“No, I—I knew, we just got lost in the moment, you know?”

Melanie nodded her head and took a seat next to her sister, “I know, hun. Trust me, I know. I just—he didn’t pressure you right?”

“Oh God no, Melanie. Garrett has been waiting for over a year now,” Haley responded. “He told me he would wait until I was ready and in all honesty, I feel as if I am. I’m on birth control and have been for two months now because I knew it was going to be soon. I just didn’t expect you to be in the next room over when it was finally going to happen.”

Melanie stared straight forward for a moment before finding the humor in the situation, “You know, Garrett has a really pale butt.”

Haley started giggling as well, “Shut the hell up! It’s nice and firm.”

“Oh God, ew!” She laughed pretending to gag.

“Mel, I have a question,” her sister started nervously.

“What’s up, kid?”

“Can we just openly talk about sex now, because honestly, I have no clue what to expect,” Haley admitting, blushing.

Melanie felt her own cheeks heating up. She wasn’t exactly an expert on the whole thing but she sure had been farther than Haley had. “What do you want to know?”

Haley bit her lip, a habit that she had picked up from Melanie, “Does it hurt?”

Melanie chuckled, “Like hell. But I mean, it feels…good, at the same time so you kind of get past it.”

“Was John good?” Haley asked, winking.

Melanie’s cheeks turned a deep crimson and she stood up from the bed and looked out her window and into the bedroom across the way that had once been Johns; the bedroom that she had lost her own virginity. Melanie laughed, “He was amazing.”

Her sister chuckled, “Well, I’ll let you know how Garrett is tomorrow!”

“Just put a sock on the door or something, please,” Melanie laughed as she shut her bedroom door behind her sister who had gone to get dressed for tonight’s party.

Melanie walked back over to her closet as her eyes landed on a dress. She honestly didn’t even know she still had it or how it even had ended back up in her closet. She figured she would have thrown it away. She grabbed it off its hanger and held it in front of her. The top of it was a black bustier that would cling tight to her every curve and the bottom was a black polyester material that clung tight on her hips and thin thighs and stop about mid thigh.

Melanie placed the black dress on her bed before slipping on some sheer black tights over her legs to help shield her somewhat from the cool weather. She pulled the dress over her thin frame and looked in her full length mirror—she looked just as she had that night.

Her blonde hair was falling over her bust which had a lot of cleavage considering how low her dress cut. The black material made her thin hips look smaller than they already were and the tights made her already tanned legs look tanner. She slipped her feet into a pair of black pumps before walking back into her bathroom to apply her makeup.

She used purple and black shadow to create a smoky eye effect around her baby blues and she applied a pale pink lip stick to her mouth. She fluffed her hair a few times before spraying her body spray into it so that she smelled fresh. Melanie walked down the hallway to Haley’s room as her sister slipped on some black pumps.

“Jesus, Melanie—you look so pretty!” Haley smiled as she stood up and grabbed a black clutch. “Who are you trying to impress, Miss?”

Melanie felt her cheeks blush, “No one. Come on, I think Garrett is outside waiting.”

She and Haley made their way down the stairs of the house and locked the door behind them as they ran to Garrett’s car. Haley jumped in the front seat and kissed her boyfriend lovingly as Melanie crawled in the backseat with a smirk on her lips.

Garrett looked at her nervously, “Are you going to kill me?”

Melanie chuckled, “No, now let’s just get to the party before I change my mind okay?”

Garrett looked back at her one more time with a sly smile on his lips, “Nice hair, Mel. It’s nice to have you back.”
_____

As soon as Melanie stepped foot into the party she felt like she was back in high school. The bass was loud, the air was polluted from smoke, and she could smell sex and alcohol. She walked through Kennedy’s house trying to find someone she knew but so far she was out of luck. She had lost Garrett and Haley as soon as they walked in and now she was just wandering through a crowd of unfamiliar people. Her interest got struck when she heard two voices behind her though.

“Dude, look at her body…she’s freaking beautiful,” the voice said.

The boy with him chuckled, “I don’t know man, I’m not really looking for a hookup right now. Besides, you can’t even see her face, she could be totally a dog or something.”

Melanie turned around at the familiar voice and raised her eyebrows at him. “A dog huh?”

“M—Melanie? You—you’re hair…oh my God, has John seen you yet?” Pat Kirch asked all at once.

She giggled, “No, do you know where I could find him by chance?”

Jared’s eyes were large as they traveled every inch of her body from where he was standing next to Pat. “Check the kitchen,” he replied simply, staring at her body.

Melanie laughed softly at the two awestruck boys, “Bye gentlemen,” she smiled before sauntering off into the kitchen. She smiled as she saw a familiar boy standing with his back to her. He was wearing skinny, black slacks with a pair of dress shoes and a button down white t-shirt with a black skinny tie and suspenders. Her heart started to pound harder as she heard him laugh.

She walked up behind him and placed her hands over his eyes from behind him. She had to push up onto the tips of her toes even in heels to reach his ear and even then she barely did. “Guess who,” she whispered.

John smiled and turned around to look at her and she watched his eyes go wide and his jaw drop open. “Oh…my God, Melanie, you—you’re—you…” She smiled softly as his chest tightened up and his breathing got rougher. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” she said softly, her confident exterior melting under his powerful gaze.

John turned to a brunette who was behind him and excused himself before grabbing Melanie’s hands in his and smiling at her. “I love your hair, you look absolutely breath taking, babe.”

“You don’t look too shabby yourself, Johnny,” she smiled, looking into his green eyes. They stared for a moment at each other silently before looking away each with their cheeks redder than before.

“Do you want a drink?” John asked, as he led them over to a table with booze on the table.

She nodded her head and John grabbed her a beer to start her off as he poured himself a crown and coke. “How did you know I’d want a beer?” She smiled as she took a sip out of the bottle.

John laughed, “You act as if I haven’t known you for over twenty years, Mel. I know for a fact that if you start with the hard stuff your little body will be gone in ten minutes.”

Melanie laughed, “You know me too well, John O’Callaghan.”

He shrugged and smiled at her, his eyes drifting over her body, “We’ve been best friends for a long time, hun that is my job.”

She grinned and surveyed the room around them, “Where is Lucy?”

“She’s visiting her family in California, so tonight it is just me and you sweet heart,” John laughed, wrapping his arm around her thin waist.

Melanie nursed her beer before looking up at John and grabbing his hand, “Let’s dance!”

John chuckled as she led him into the living room where people were dancing around to the loud beats over the speakers. Melanie spotted a giddy red head in the center of the room and dragged John through the maze of people to where Charlie and Kennedy were standing, grinding against one another.

“Melanie you look like sex on wheels, oh my God baby doll!” Charlie yelled hugging her friend. “Your hair looks amazing. I bet John will want to run his hands through that tonight!”

Melanie rolled her eyes and pushed her friends shoulder with a smile on her lips, “Shh, he’s going to get the wrong idea.”

“And what is that? That you didn’t dye your hair for his pleasure? Does Ben know?” Charlie asked with a smirk on her lips as Melanie stayed silent. “Exactly my point, now grind on that boy before I do,” she winked.

Melanie waved a small hello to Kennedy who gave her a weary glance and she knew what he was saying: be careful. She giggled as she felt John’s hands place themselves on her hips and pull them flat against his own. “Are you going to drag me out here to watch Kennedy and Charlie dance?” John smiled. “Or will you stop teasing me and dance with me?”

Melanie bit her lip as John began swaying them. She was nervous at first, but this wasn’t wrong was it? It was just a simple dance, yeah, just a dance. She smiled as John pulled her tighter against him, moving slowly against her. She spun in his arms to where her butt was against his hips and his arms instantly wrapped around her waist, his face in the crook of her neck giving her the chills. They let their hips move quicker and rougher as their hands started exploring one another. John’s hands made their way down to her butt while her own had locked themselves around the back of his suspenders, her face now in his hot neck.

“Let’s get a drink?” John mumbled into her ear after a few songs, grabbing her wrist. He led her back over to the table and made Melanie a vodka tonic, grabbing him a beer.

“Don’t you want something harder?” She questioned, sipping the strong drink in her hand.

“One of us needs to be sober enough to drive home tonight, Melanie,” John laughed. “And, I have a good feeling it’s going to be me.”

She giggled and stepped closer to him, a smirk on her lips, “Who said I was going home with you tonight?”

John chuckled, “You better not be going home with anyone else.”

“Never,” Melanie replied with a smirk. She grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the kitchen and to the back porch. No one was in the backyard surprisingly and she walked to the set of stairs that connected to the yard’s green grass. She took a seat on the bottom step and stretched her legs out in front of her.

John took a seat next to her and followed in her actions. He smiled at her once more before looking out at the sky above them. You couldn’t see the stars because of all of the city’s lights, but she could picture how they looked in her mind.

“I can’t believe you still have that dress,” John said seriously, running his hand over the material of the bottom part of her thigh.

Melanie bit her lip, “I can’t believe you remember that this is the dress.”

“I would never ever forget that dress dear,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’ll never forget anything about that day, Melanie. I just—when you walked down those stairs and I saw you something just didn’t feel right you know? I could feel that something was just off about that day. I told myself that I was just being stupid and that I was just jealous of the fact that I wouldn’t be there at that party helping you celebrate—but the feeling wouldn’t go away…”

Melanie nodded her head as a million emotions ran through her, “The last thing you told me was to be careful.”

“It’s just this feeling I get when I’m around you sometimes…I can just feel when something is wrong with you. If you’re upset, I become upset naturally. If you’re happy, I can’t keep a smile off my lips, and you don’t even have to say a word. I just…know,” John said seriously, looking at the sky above them.

Melanie knew exactly what John was feeling. Sometimes when they were younger she would just get a sense that something was wrong and then her phone would begin ringing and John would need her on the other line. It was a connection they had built over twenty years of being with one another.

“I should have stayed that night, Melanie. I should have been there—if, if I was there that bastard would have never gotten his hands on you,” John said angrily through gritted teeth. “Something told me to stay; and yet, I still left with Taylor. I left and he hurt you. You would have never had to go through that if I had listened to my gut and stayed.”

Melanie placed her hands on John’s face and forced him to look at her. His eyes shut as soon as she looked into them, “John, you look at me right now.” John opened his eyes slowly and looked back at her, his expression softening a bit. “This was not your fault, okay? You had nothing to do with what down that night. He was a prick and I was drunk, that in no way is your fault.”

“Okay,” John sighed after a moment. He gave her a soft smile as she released his face and looked back at the green grass at his feet. “Do you regret not finding out who he was and turning him in?”

She bit her lips contemplatively before speaking softly, “I know who he was.”

John’s eyes opened in shock, “What? Melanie—you, you knew and you didn’t turn him in? What if he’s still out there!”

She shut her eyes tightly, not letting tears pour over the rim, “I know he’s not.”

“How?” John asked angrily.

“He’s dead, John. Jeremy—he’s dead,” Melanie replied. It felt as if a hundred pounds had been lifted from her shoulders. No one knew who had done this to her, but now someone knew. Now she wasn’t completely alone. “I found him the night before I left on his floor—dead.”

“That’s whose grave you were at,” John said as he pieced everything together. “Jeremy Cook. What—what happened? You saw him dead?”

Melanie nodded her head slowly as every memory of that night came rushing back into her mind, “He—he uh had the bracelet that my dad gave to me after graduation. And, that night when he…raped me, he took it. A few days after my birthday he apparently went to my house and gave my mom a note—which told me he had the jewelry and told me to go get it.

“I was so angry, John. I was so mad that he the balls to go and see my mom, the woman who had given me life. I was so angry that he went to my house. I was so angry at him—I wanted to get back at him that night. I was going to go get it back and show him that I wasn’t afraid of him. I was going to show him that I had more power in my little finger than he did in his entire body. I was going to show him that I got through what he had done to me and that I was better than him. I was going to break him.

“I went to his house that night and his door was open. So, I walked in and I went upstairs…and there he was lying on the floor in a puddle of blood,” Melanie said. Her body shook involuntarily as she spoke and she felt nervous. She could never forget that visual. “Then I walked home and I saw the tree house…and then—then you found me.”

John was speechless as he sat next to her. She watched his blank face trying to make sense of what she had just told him—she knew it was hard to grasp all at once. “Is that why you left, Melanie? Or was it me?” He asked after a few moments. She knew the words he needed to hear, but she couldn’t lie to him anymore than she had.

“I was in shock and I needed you to piece me back together, John. I needed you to give me the one thing I needed that night and you said no,” she said softly, reminiscing. “It was irrational and I see that now, but I needed some control and when you took that from me, I just, I couldn’t handle it anymore.”

“I didn’t know it was about control,” John said sadly. “I thought it was about love.”

“You can’t think I didn’t love you, John.”

“I still do…you left and never came back. You moved on, Melanie,” he spoke softly. “Love doesn’t move on.”

“Then you didn’t love me either,” she replied boldly, calling him out on his hypocritical accusation.

John looked at her seriously, “You know that’s not true.”

“As do you,” Melanie responded, standing up. “Let’s go get more drinks.”

He chuckled softly and followed her back into the kitchen leaving their last topic of conversation alone, “It’s only eleven, hun. You’re going to be gone by midnight if you keep this pace up.”

“I haven’t been drunk in a long time,” Melanie laughed. “Why not start the new year out with it? And besides, I know nothing will get me this time.”

John smiled at her last remark and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, “What would you like?”
_____

In a matter of forty five minutes Melanie was definitely buzzed, borderline piss drunk. Her body swayed to songs she would never find catchy and her laughs seemed to fall out of her mouth at things that weren’t particularly funny in the least. “Johnny, you’re funny,” she giggled.

John covered his face and wrapped his arm around her waist, “Melanie, you’re very drunk, honey.”

“No I’m not! Oh my God! I love this song!” She yelled as a catchy song came onto the stereo.

“No you don’t,” John laughed, “You actually hate this song. You have always hated Miley Cyrus.”

“Do not tell me how I feel!” Melanie ordered, swaying slightly to the right. “It’s a party in the USA!”

“Jesus John, what did you do to her?” Charlie laughed as she came up to the two.

“I don’t understand how this is my fault that Melanie cannot hold her liquor,” he laughed, holding the girl’s waist tightly. “Melanie, come on, stop molesting poor Pat.”

Melanie ran her hands through Pat’s long hair as the boy grinned, “I am not upset with this, JohnO,” Pat laughed.

“Yeah, I bet you aren’t,” John chuckled, and grabbed Melanie’s hand. “Do you want to go home?”

Melanie felt the alcohol pulsing through her veins and she grinned, “I guess, but shouldn’t we wait until its midnight?”

“John O’Callaghan!”

Melanie and John looked at a tall brunette who was approaching them, squealing as she ran over. Melanie wrinkled her nose in disapproval as the girl jumped into John’s arms and gave him a kiss on the cheek completely ignoring Melanie’s presence.

“Hey Heather,” John smiled politely. Melanie could tell by the look in his eyes he really didn’t want to talk to the girl.

“How have you been? Hey, you never called me after that one night?” Heather giggled.

“Uh—uhm, I lost your number,” John stuttered. Melanie knew he was lying and wanted the girl to get away from him but she was persistent.

“Well, how about we just hang out tonight?” Heather grinned, pressing her shoulders forward and showing off cleavage.

“Uh—well you see—

“Hi, I don’t know if you noticed me—I mean I’m presuming you did and are just a whore—but I’m Melanie and well you see, John is kind of busy. So, you can just run along,” Melanie said angrily, the alcohol in her veins making her bolder.

“And who are you to say that to me?” Heather asked taking a step closer to Melanie’s inferior frame. She had to look up to see into Heather’s eyes but she didn’t care. She may have been small but she knew she could throw a right hook.

John grabbed Melanie’s hand in his and wrapped his arms around her from behind, “My girlfriend,” he lied.

Heather looked down at Melanie with jealousy in her eyes, “Your girlfriend is ugly.”

Melanie scoffed, “Right, that’s why he actually stayed with me and only slept with your drunk self once. That makes a lot of sense; he obviously got with you because you are very smart.”

“Do you want to get hit?” Heather asked through her teeth.

“That’s the best you have? Oh, I’m scared now,” Melanie scoffed, ignoring the hands that were pulling her waist back. “John stop, if she wants to fight I’ll fight!”

Kennedy started laughing from next to the two, “This should be interesting.”

Heather swung her arm and struck her hand across Melanie’s cheek. She felt her blood begin to boil as she pulled herself out of John’s arms and pushed the girl to the ground roughly. Melanie crawled on top of her and used her fist to strike the girl’s cheek causing it to redden immediately. Heather screamed as Melanie struck her in the eye.

John instantly grabbed Melanie’s small frame and threw her over his shoulder, “Kennedy, Charlie, I’m sorry but we’re leaving!”

Melanie used her hands to pound on John’s butt which was at her eye level for the moment, “Stop it! She called me ugly! She deserved to be hit again!”

John laughed as he set Melanie back on her feet, grasping her waist tightly before she could try to run back into the house they had just exited. He grabbed her fingers in his firmly before he began leading her back down the road to where he had parked his car. She fought against him the entire way but gave up once he had her buckled in his passenger seat.

Melanie crossed her arms over her chest, “I hate you,” she mumbled.

John chuckled, “I’m sure you do.”

They drove in silence back to John’s apartment which was only a few miles away. Melanie felt her mind starting to slowly sober down, not back to normal but just on a buzz. She still wanted to go back to the party and hit that girl but as she realized that her and John would be alone she was pleased enough.

As they pulled up to John’s apartment he ordered her to stay put. She watched in amusement as he walked over to her side of the car and opened her door. She stepped out of the car only to be swept in John’s arms bridal style. He carried her laughing body up his stairs and to his door before setting her down. They walked into his apartment and Melanie collapsed on the couch and John walked into his kitchen.

“I could walk you know,” she giggled. “How lame are we? It’s not even midnight and we left a party? Really JohnO? Last I checked you were good at partying!”

John walked back into the dimly lit room with a bottle of Grey Goose in his hands. John grinned, “The world’s best tasting vodka, you know.”

Melanie grinned and sat up straightening her spine, holding out her hands. “Give me, give me, give me.”

“Woah, woah, woah, calm down there, honey,” John laughed. He looked at the clock on the TV that read 11:58. “Wait two more minutes and then we’ll crack this baby open.”

Melanie pretended to pout and she gave him her best puppy dog look, “Come on, I just defended your honor against some slut, that earns me another drink, Johnny.”

She reached for the bottle in his hands and he just raised it above his head. Melanie crawled over to where he sat next to her on the couch and got on her knees attempting to reach the bottle, but John just moved it again. She giggled as they began fighting for the bottle, their bodies close. Melanie was straddling his waist and his arms were wrapped around her, the bottle far behind her back. She turned trying to reach it but his arms were longer that hers. She turned to look at him with a small pout on her lips that was illuminated from the glow of John’s Christmas tree. John smirk disappeared as he felt her breath that smelled of alcohol blow onto his lips and chills ran down Melanie’s spine as his breath fell on her exposed neck.

Even in the dark Melanie could see the bright green of John’s eyes staring into hers. She glanced at the clock over John’s shoulder that showed the time in bright red numbers: 12:01. “Happy New Year, John,” Melanie said in a breath.

“Happy New Year, Mel,” he repeated. She could feel his hands fidgeting beneath her but she didn’t say a word. She didn’t want to move and separate their bodies.

She heard a vibrating noise and she watched as John’s phone lit up and his fingers grasped it tightly. She could see the debate going on in his eyes: answer his girlfriend’s phone call or kiss the girl he had loved forever.

Melanie felt her heart drop as he answered the phone and pressed it to his ear. She was still sitting on top of his lap and their lips were dangerously close. She could hear Lucy on the other line, “Happy New Year, baby!”

John sighed and looked into Melanie’s eyes, “Happy New Year to you too, Lucy.”
“Are you okay? You sound kind of upset,” Lucy commented. “Aren’t you at Kenny’s?”

“Uhm no, I actually went home early…I wasn’t feeling too well,” John lied.

Melanie bit her lip as she stared into his eyes deeper, searching for something—anything. She just wanted a sign that maybe he wanted this too. She wanted something to contradict what John had just told her by answering his phone; she didn’t want to believe that John was choosing Lucy over her, but that’s what his eyes were adamantly saying to her.

“Awe baby, that’s no fun! Is Melanie with you?” Lucy asked. Melanie wanted to scream that she was on top of him right now. That if she moved forward four more short inches her lips would be pressing onto John’s in a kiss that was long overdue.

John stared into her eyes strongly before closing them, “Yeah, but she’s passed out. Nothing is going to happen, baby, don’t you worry okay?”

Melanie felt her insides tighten and she began to feel nauseous—and not to mention, embarrassed. She lifted her leg from over John’s and stood up grabbing the bottle of Grey Goose. She walked into John’s pitch black bedroom and found the bed through the dark. She could hear John’s quiet voice speaking into his phone from the living room and she became angry. He chose Lucy. Melanie would not let that happen.

She pressed the large, clear bottle to her lips and let the liquid hit her throat. The poison normally would have burned her throat but she already had so much to drink that night she hardly even noticed. She slipped her black heels from her feet and threw them across the room. She lay back in John’s sheets, letting the smell of him surround her. She instantly felt safe.

Melanie stared up at the ceiling, remembering the day in the fifth grade when John took her star gazing in his bedroom. He placed hundreds of little glow in the dark stars on his ceiling and covered his window with a black sheet so even the light from the blinds couldn’t take away from the sight.

She listened as footsteps approached the door and she could see him from the light that shown through his window. She could see him in her peripheral vision leaning against the doorframe of his room.

“Sorry about that,” John said softly, breaking the tense silence.

Melanie sat up and stared into his eyes. She shrugged as if she didn’t care and pressed the bottle to her lips once again, “Its fine. She’s you’re girlfriend, right?”

“Right,” he said, staring at her. He sounded as if he was trying to convince himself.

She flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder and felt like a fool. She dyed her hair for him and he chose another girl. What was she even thinking? But as she looked back into John’s eyes that were staring at her bare neck and collar bones she knew what had given her the feeling that he cared—the look in his eyes said it all. He wanted her as bad as she wanted him, he was just trying harder to control himself—and she just wasn’t going to have that.

Melanie stood up and stretched knowing that her dress would rise higher and her legs and that her chest would rise as well. She bit her lip before looking at John with a small smile. “Do you have a shirt I could wear to sleep? I’m sort of tired.”

She watched as John’s eyes trailed over her body before he looked back into her eyes, “Uh—uh yeah, just hold on.”

John walked over to his closet and returned a moment later with an oversized baseball t shirt from his high school days. He tossed it to Melanie before walking over and sitting on his bed where she was standing near. She knew he expected her to go into the bathroom but Melanie was just trying to get him back to her—reel him back into what they both needed; each other.

She chewed her bottom lip and looked at him innocently, “Can you unzip me?”

John looked at her with wide eyes before nodding his head and standing, not saying a word. Melanie walked over to him, her feet softly hitting the floor. She turned around and faced her back to him. She felt him brush her hair off her neck gently, his fingers softly shaking. His warm fingertips ran down her spine as he unzipped the dress and she felt a chill in her bones. John’s hand stayed at the bottom of her zipper for a moment before he whispered, “All done.”

Melanie turned around and looked him in the eyes, taking a few steps back from him. He stood on the side of his bed closest to the door while she was at the front of it, only three feet away. She turned her back on him once again before sliding her dress down her waist. She continued undressing as she pushed her tights off of her legs and was left only in her boy shorts and strapless bra. She could feel John’s eyes boring into her and it made her grin.

Melanie looked over her shoulder and his eyes shifted away from her lower back to her eyes. She giggled as she felt the alcohol give her courage, “No peeking.”

“I wasn’t,” he mumbled softly, running a hand through his hair.

“Yes you were,” Melanie chuckled before lowering her voice. “And you know the deal, I show you mine you show me yours.”

“Melanie, I think you’re drunk, so I think you should stop,” John whispered softly, staring into her eyes as she approached him.

“I think you should stop telling me what to do,” Melanie whispered back just as gentle.”I’m a big girl, John. I can make my own decisions.”

John’s breathing was shallow as Melanie walked up to him, standing right against his body. Her hands slid his jacket over his shoulders and let it fall to the floor with a soft thud. She slid the straps of his black suspenders from over his shoulders and they landed on either side of his thighs. She loosened his black tie before pulling it from around his neck and tossing it to the ground. Her fingers landed on the buttons of his shirt and she undid each one slowly, letting her fingers land on his skin with each button that came undone. She pressed her palms against his bare chest and pushed his shirt off of his shoulders, letting it fall to the wood flooring below them. John continued to stare into her eyes and she could feel goose bumps on his arms forming.

Melanie pressed her lips gently to the skin on his chest making her way up to his neck slowly. She could feel him holding his breath under her lips and she smiled as he let out a soft groan as she nibbled on his neck gently. Her tongue flickered against the spot before she bit it again, causing his arms to tighten around her bare back at last. He pulled her tighter against his chest as her arms made their way around his neck. His lips worked against her own neck as he lifted her in the air and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

John laid her on his bed and continued sucking on her neck as his fingers roamed down and rested on her waist. “John, I love you,” Melanie moaned softly, gasping as his hips rolled against hers.

She watched as something in John’s eyes changed. He pulled away from where he had left a mark on her neck and looked at her, guilt on his face, “Melanie, we can’t be doing this,” he said suddenly, realizing what was happening.

He crawled off of her and began pacing around his room. Melanie sat up and walked over to him, interlacing their fingers, “Why not?” She asked softly.

John suddenly became very aware of the alcohol on her breath, “Melanie, I want you to love me when you’re sober,” he said softly.

“John…I’ve loved you since I was twelve, sober and not,” she replied softly, trying to make him look into her eyes—but he seemed to refuse. “Let me show you…”

He looked hurt and raised their hands, kissing the fourth finger on her left hand, “Show me when this is gone,” he said softly, kissing the engagement ring on her finger.

Melanie fell silent as shame washed throughout her entire body; what was she doing? “John…I—I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you,” she whispered.

“Let’s just go to sleep and if you remember any of this in the morning then we’ll talk about it, okay?” He replied gently.

“And if I don’t?” Melanie asked desolately.

John stared into her eyes, his feelings taking over the strong part of him, “Let’s just hope you do…okay?”

Melanie nodded her head before walking back over to his bed and putting his baseball t shirt over her body and slipping her bra off once the shirt was covering her. She crawled under his bed sheets and John soon followed her once he had discarded his slacks and was in his boxer briefs. They lay silently in his bed with a foot of distance between them.

“Good night, John,” Melanie said softly.

He turned his head to her and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek, “Good night, Melanie.”