The Roots That Tied to My Feet

Melanie lay motionlessly in the bed, too afraid to make a move. She could feel the sunlight peering in through the window to her left onto her bare back. She could feel her head sinking into the pillow beneath her head and a white sheet was wrapped around her naked waist. She didn’t dare to open her eyes and she didn’t have to in order to know if John was in the room; she could hear him.

“Oh God I did the wrong thing—ah. Why doesn’t this sound right?” John sighed. Melanie listened as he began strumming chords on his acoustic and tried humming to the tune.

His raspy voice was ringing throughout the air as he perfected the words to a song she didn’t recognize. She listened quietly to his words not letting him know she was awake.

“Got caught runnin’ up a tab, couldn’t drive home so I had to share a cab. Introduced herself by her last name—the kind of girl you steal from the football team,” he sang gently, obviously trying not to wake her even though she was already conscious. John sighed, “This is crap.”

Melanie sat up, biting her lip as she did so. She pulled the white sheet up over her torso and covered her exposed chest. She looked at him shyly, “I liked it.”

John stared back at her, his green eyes twinkling with something she had never seen in them before. A smile crept onto his thin, swollen lips slowly and he ran a hand through his sex hair. He shrugged, “I think you may be a bit biased.”

She blushed gently at his words and let a smile break out on her lips. She crawled over to where he was sitting on the edge of the bed and straddled his waist. She looked into his eyes feeling herself get lost, “And I think you may be a bit modest.”

“Mm yeah?” John smirked placing his hands on the supple skin of her hip bone.

Melanie nodded her head, smiling as she felt him closing the gap between their lips. He pressed against her and she could feel him grinning into their kiss. It was much more innocent than last nights. It didn’t just hold lust—it was sweet, tender, and just, amazing.

Melanie let her breath fall from in between her lips and she looked down at John’s bare torso, nodding her head, “Yeah,” she agreed softly. “You’re amazing, John.”

John smiled genuinely, his perfect crooked smile. It made her heart flutter. He cupped her cheek gently before removing the sheet from around her body and placing it over them collectively. They fell back onto the mattress with their lips connected, kissing each other as if their time was running out—and in actuality it was.

A loud vibration came from the night stand next to John’s bed and they separated within seconds, staring into each other’s eyes. Melanie bit her lip softly, listening to her phone ring off the hook.

“Don’t answer it,” John pleaded gently.

“John,” she said simply, trying to talk some sense into him. She had to answer the phone.

“Melanie,” he retorted, and even through his harsher tone she could hear his vulnerability.

She gave him one last kiss on the lips before climbing out from underneath his superior frame and reaching for her cell phone. She opened it quickly on its last ring and placed it to her ear. “Hello?”

“Melanie! Where the hell are you? I’m worried sick,” her best friend spoke sincerely.

“Charlie, calm down I’m fine,” Melanie replied, running a hand through her long blonde hair smoothing it out. “I’ll be home soon, okay?”

“Uhm yeah I hope so. We have to head to the church in about an hour,” Charlie responded grumpily. Melanie forgave her because she knew she probably had a monster hangover.

Melanie glanced at the clock on the bed stand and became nervous as she read that it was two o’clock in the afternoon. The rehearsal dinner was scheduled to start at four. “I’ll be home soon,” she said simply, pressing her cell phone shut.

She kept her back to John but she could hear him moving behind her. Soon she felt his arm wrap around her waist and his lips began placing soft butterfly kisses on her shoulder, up and down the back of her neck.

“Baby, don’t go,” he whispered giving her the chills up and down her spine from the breath that blew on her exposed skin. Melanie kept her eyes staring forward trying to silently locate her dress that was lying on the floor somewhere in his room. She felt John sigh into her skin and his hand loosened on her waist. “Why is this always too good to be true?” He said softly, his heartbreak in his voice.

“John—I, I never said that this was done,” Melanie said quietly. Her thoughts were racing a thousand miles an hour with possibilities of what could happen with each scenario she placed herself into. She needed to choose—and it needed to be tonight.

John twisted her in his arms to where she was looking into his green eyes. He looked at her nervously, “Then tell me, Melly, what does it mean?”

Melanie bit her lip softly, anxiously. She was biting so hard she swore she could draw blood. She shrugged her petite shoulders, “I don’t know yet, John. I—I’ll see you tonight at the dinner, okay?”

She pressed her lips against his forcefully and he instantly kissed her back, tasting one another for what they both worried would be the last time. She felt his eyes on her as she pulled her underwear back over her small body and pulled her sequined dress over her head preparing for her walk of shame. She walked outside, trying not to look at the boy she was leaving out of fear that she would stay.

Melanie got into her car and drove to her house engaged in her thoughts of what today held. Ben would be there waiting for her at the end of the aisle preparing for tomorrow. John would be there watching from the crowd wondering if she was going to be there tomorrow. And Melanie, well she would be there trying to see if her vows meant more than the cause of the soreness between her legs.

Melanie snuck into her house unnoticed and went straight to her bathroom stripping off her dress and hopping in the shower begrudgingly washing John off of her. She quickly blew her hair dry and straightened it, letting it fall below her breasts. She pulled a draped blue silk dress over her waist and over her chest and applied a small amount of makeup to her face.

Melanie pulled some white heels onto her feet as someone knocked on her bedroom door. Haley peeked in a moment later, “Are you ready?”

She nodded her head, avoiding eye contact. She had no clue if anyone besides Charlie had noticed her absence and she hoped to God they didn’t. She grabbed a clutch off of her desk and placed her lipstick and cell phone inside after reading a text from Ben talking about how he couldn’t wait for today and that he had just picked up his mother and grandmother.

Melanie walked down stairs following her sister’s lead and jumped into the backseat of her parent’s Range Rover let her nerves take over her body. She was too scared to hurt anyone—she just couldn’t do it. She never wanted to hurt Ben, and she would literally want to kill herself if she hurt John, but someone had to break.

Rick Hendricks looked into the backseat chuckling at his daughters. “Are you two a little hung-over I’m assuming?”

Haley laughed softly, “Well, not legally.”

“It was a good idea doing the wedding two days after the parties,” he laughed, heartily. He looked at Melanie from the corner of his eyes. She knew he was unsure of what she had chosen but she thought that it would seem as if she had picked Ben because she was even going to the rehearsal dinner in the first place. She hoped it would seem that way—then hopefully there’d be less chaos.

The car pulled up to the church a few moments later. They were about ten minutes earlier than the bridal party—who ironically also made up the guests. Ben and Melanie had decided on a small family oriented wedding that was mostly made up of the bridal party.

Melanie sauntered into the church quietly, keeping her eyes cast down from the shining sun that burned them. Even for February the air was unusually warm; everything today was just—off. She walked into the building and her white heels clicked against the brown wooded floor. She looked through the shadowed halls for anyone but her eyes found no one.

She decided to just go to the chapel and she walked into the empty room. The brown pews were perfectly aligned and the stained glass windows created a rainbow of colors from the sun. She sat in the front pew and looked up at the cross that was in the front of the chapel. Would God forgive her for the sins she had committed?

A door swung open from behind her sulking shoulders and she listened as feet hit the floor accompanied with loud laughs and deep voices.

“Who is that foxy lady?”

Melanie placed a smile on her lips as she turned to see Ben and his groomsmen who had flown up from Seattle this morning. “Daniel Russo, Michael Emmett, and Richard Cavanaugh, I was hoping I’d never see you gentlemen again,” Melanie said teasingly.

“Mm, yeah whatever, you know you love us,” Daniel laughed, running a hand through his short black hair.

“Are your bridesmaids hot, Melanie? Because if not I’m leaving,” Michael said pulling her into his strong arms for a hug.

“My bridesmaids are in fact beautiful, but they are all taken as well. And, one of them is my sister, so keep your hands off you creeps.”

Ben walked over to Melanie lastly and wrapped his hands around her waist, placing his lips against hers gently, “Hello, baby.”

She smiled nervously, trying to cover up all of her doubts, “Hey you.”

Ben kissed her again, smiling into her lips. She smacked his chest playfully pulling away, “Not while the guys are here,” she whispered.

“We’ve definitely kissed in front of the guys before, Melanie,” he said confused. He looked at her anxiously and she knew he was trying to read her emotions. “Hey guys, could you excuse us for a few?”

Ben started leading her out of the chapel and to a small room to the left of the room. They walked in quietly and Melanie kept their eyes apart; she was afraid that the look in hers would give her away.

“Melanie, what’s going on?” Ben asked softly, cupping her face in his hands forcing her to look into her eyes. “Are you getting cold feet?”

Melanie chewed on her lip softly, “Ben, I just—is this too soon?”

Ben sighed and stared at her incredulously, “Melanie, what are you talking about? We, babe, what?” He mumbled all at once, sadness fueling every word.

“I don’t know, Ben, I’m just so confused,” she whispered quietly.

He placed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, choking back tears. A knock on the door tore them apart. “Uh, are you guys ready for the run through?”

Melanie and Ben turned their eyes to the short red head that stood there with a nervous look on her lips. Melanie instantly knew once she looked into her best friend’s eyes that she was fully aware of the events that last night held.

“Come on,” Melanie said gently, lacing her fingers through Ben’s and giving his hand a light squeeze. They walked to the chapel silently, tension between them. He gave her a kiss on the lips before leaving her in her waiting room and walking down the aisle.

She stood at the back of the room nervously, surrounded by excited bridesmaids and groomsmen. She was in her own world. She watched as immediate family—including Ben’s grandmother and mother—paraded into the pews taking their seats. Her family sat quietly talking amongst themselves and the O’Callaghans before her father got up and walked towards her, taking his place.

She looked to where John should have been sitting and she noted that he was absent. She didn’t blame him for not coming—not one bit.

Melanie watched as the bridal party began sauntering down the aisle, taking the appropriate steps at each count. She followed in suit just a few short moments later with her arm latched through her fathers. They walked to where Ben was waiting with an uneasy smile on his lips. Melanie could see right through it.

The pastor at the front smiled at the couple who was holding hands. He ran through preliminary things and stuff that they should expect tomorrow. He told them when they would be reading their vows and gave them amount of time that they should expect or what would be a reasonable amount of time. They finished the practice ceremony after about twenty more minutes of run through before they all headed to their cars to go to the restaurant for dinner. Melanie brushed off Ben’s calls to her, simply acting as if she didn’t hear them as she climbed into her parent’s car.

They made it to the restaurant a few moments later and walked into the back room where a large banquet room was waiting. Melanie smiled as she began giving hugs to her friends and family, holding tightly when it came to the O’Callaghans. She walked over to where her mother was chatting with Mrs. Reed, talking about the beautiful décor that was to be expected tomorrow.

Melanie joined in the conversation and tried to ignore the blue eyes that were staring at her from across the room. She talked to their guests as they waited for dinner to be served and at all costs stayed away from Ben. She didn’t even know what to say to him but she had to think fast because now he knew she had doubts.

Melanie felt hands wrap around her waist and twist her. She was instantly met with a chest but as she inhaled she felt comfort fall over her shoulders. He held her tightly against him and then sighed, “How are you feeling?” John whispered in her ear.

She pulled away and shrugged softly, upset that he let her go. “Sore,” she chuckled.

John smirked and kept his voice low, “What can I say? They call me John-ohhhhhh for a reason.”

Melanie rolled her eyes, “Let’s not talk about this?”

She felt a hand wrap itself in hers and she saw John’s eyes narrow at the new presence. Ben looked at John with a small innocent smile and made his hello before telling Melanie that they were needed. He led her over to the head of the table and people smiled as they took their seats around them.

Ben stood at the top of the table and smiled raising his glass in the air, “I would like to thank you all so much for being here tonight. Speaking for both of us it means the world that you are here to support us in our marriage. You are the ones who mean the most to us—and we just wanted to thank you.”

Melanie nodded her head and plastered a smile on her lips, trying to ignore the tension that was between her, John, and Ben. She wouldn’t be surprised if it was radiating off of them in the open for everyone at the party to know. Everyone raised their glasses and a round of ‘cheers’ were spoken before a drink to the couple. Dinner was served and everyone ate making small talk amongst themselves.

John sat at the opposite end of the table from Melanie and Ben and she couldn’t help but to smile each time she watched his eyes wash over her body; she knew it was wrong and she tried to control herself but she just couldn’t. Her body was still tingling from the gentlest ways he had touched her the night before and she wished that she could live in that moment over again.

But as Ben sat here and rubbed her hand softly she tried to remind herself that she had picked him for a reason. He had made her strong in weakest of times and he was trustworthy. He wasn’t constantly changing and they hardly ever fought. Their love was easy.

Melanie smiled gently as her mother stood up, using her fork to hit her glass lightly. The room went silent as everyone gazed at the fading woman, smiling softly in anticipation. “Melanie,” she spoke softly. “I just wanted to tell you as your mother how proud of you I am, honey. I just—you have been the best daughter a mother could ask for and you have set a great example that your sister is proudly following. I am so happy that you have found a boy like Ben—and Benjamin, I am so happy to welcome you to our family. You have truly been a blessing to my daughter…I can see it in the simple way she speaks of you. You are uncomplicated, and strong, and you know what she needs—you are the other half that completes her in many ways. I wish you both a long and happy marriage.”

Everyone drank again, and the bridesmaids and groomsmen made small speeches about the couples sharing fond memories and best wishes all the while Ben held her hand sweetly, rubbing circles on her palm with his thumb. Melanie watched as John stared nervously as his plate as Kennedy stood up and looked at the couple.

The brown hair boy smiled, “So, uh, you know that John and I aren’t exactly awesome with speeches and all of our stories would probably get us all in trouble, but we finished a new song today and we were wondering if that’d be okay instead?”

Melanie and Ben nodded their heads with grins on their lips. She felt as butterflies nervously batted in her stomach about what was coming next. She could tell by the look in John’s eye that he was laying it all on the line; he was done hiding.

John took a seat at a stool in the corner of the room with Kennedy right next to him. They both had guitars in their hands tuning them quietly before looking at everyone. Kennedy grinned, but John’s face was serious as he spoke, “So uh, I just finished this song this morning actually. It’ll be on our new record. I—I uh hope you like it.”

John gazed into Melanie’s eyes one last time longingly before strumming his guitar strings, Kennedy moving accordingly. Soon, John’s raspy voice was filling the air, “Got caught running up a tab, couldn't drive home, so I had to share a cab. Introduced herself by her last name; the kind of girl you steal from the football team. Brought up a silver spoon mess; always trying to tear off her Catholic dress. Told me she's over this place--needs to feel the Midwest wind in her face.

“But the alcohol made its way down. She was the last thing that I saw last night before I hit the ground. Oh god, I did the wrong thing to the right girl; my mind was only in it for a minute. Had a bad fling with a good girl--I was stupid and dumb, not giving a—the blank stare out the window. If I could just sober up, I could just admit I did the wrong thing to the right girl. It was your world, baby, and I just lived in it.”

John sang so softly and delicately that Melanie felt like breaking with each word. He stared at her intently, not caring that Ben was glaring daggers at him. She tried to cover the blush on her cheeks as Charlie looked at her questioningly and Kennedy just smirked.

“I've never been the best with my mouth—tried to say smart, but the dumb comes out. Maybe I'm shy, I drive an old car. Maybe I'm amazed that it got this far. And I've got my stand-bys waiting on the line, but the hardest part is knowing that it won't be her this time. Oh god, I did the wrong thing to the right girl; my mind was only in it for a minute. Had a bad fling with a good girl—I was stupid and dumb, not giving a—the blank stare out the window. If I could just sober up, I could just admit I did the wrong thing to the right girl. It was your world, baby, and I just lived in it. It was your world, baby, and I just lived in it.”

Melanie watched as John closed his shining green eyes and his face looked as if he was in agony as he sang. He was falling to pieces in front of everyone and oddly he didn’t seem to care. His voice began to shake as he sang the next words, “Please, please, baby, come back. Please, please, baby, come back. Please, please, baby, come back. Please, please, baby, come back.”

John’s eyes opened and found hers instantly, staring at her eagerly as she bit her lip waiting for what would come next, “She came back; thought she had it all planned out—went to marry some guy she had talked about; a tear in her dress and a tear in her eye and just like that, her whole life flashed by. She won't remember what you said last night. What you said last night—
that if you ever needed someone to pick up the pieces in your life…

“Oh god, I did the wrong thing to the right girl. My mind was only in it for a minute. Had a bad fling with a good girl; I was stupid and dumb, not giving a—the blank stare out the window… If I could just sober up, I could just admit I did the wrong thing to the right girl. It was your world, baby, and I just lived in it. Oh, it was your world, baby, and I just lived in it.

“Oh, it was your world—Please, please, baby come back. Please, please, baby come back. Please, please, baby come back. Please, please, baby come back.”

Melanie watched silently as a tear fell down John’s cheek and he didn’t even bother to wipe it. People applauded awkwardly and all eyes were on the confused couple. She watched as John excused himself from the room quietly and her body went tense. She needed to talk to him—try to make up for this mess. She needed to apologize for breaking his heart once again and tell him that she was just as confused as he was.

“I should talk to him,” Melanie whispered to Ben quietly breaking the tension.

Ben looked at her with frustration in his blue eyes, “He’s a big boy, Melanie.”

“I’m still his friend, Ben,” she seethed softly, standing up and walking in the direction John had wandered off to. She walked away ignoring the glances from her friends and family, and walked out the back door of the restaurant; she just had a feeling that he’d be there.

She walked into the cool air and as her eyes adjusted to the low lighting she found his body leaning against the back wall. His hands were tucked into his black slacks and his coat jacket was getting dirty from the pavement he leaned on. His hair was a mess because he had been running his fingers through it nervously all night long and his green eyes were filled with sadness.

Melanie walked up to him and placed her body next to his. She could feel heat omitting from his frame and wanted nothing more for him to wrap his arms around her and warm her cold skin. She looked into his eyes momentarily, seeing water filling his green pools, “John—

“Melanie, please tell me you’re not picking him,” he said so gently she was surprised she heard him. His voice was cracking and tears were threatening to fall with each passing second.

“John, I honestly have no idea what to do,” she said gently, trying to keep herself from crying.

“How do you not know?” He asked, his voice rising. “Melanie, I know you felt that last night—that just, electricity between us. I can’t stay away from you and you can’t stay away from me. We were made to be together and you know that. I am your home.”

She felt tears start falling and John stepped closer to her gathering her in his arms. He rubbed her back soothingly and when his hand met the bare skin of her back she got goose bumps. She looked up into his eyes nervously and it only took a moment for him to grab her chin and guide her lips to his. He pressed her against the wall behind them as his tongue pushed onto hers, feeling her for what felt like the last time.

“What the fuck?”

Melanie felt her breath catch as soon as John pulled away from her lips. He stared into her eyes for another second—one that felt like minutes, before standing up tall and broadening his shoulders. She couldn’t help but to cower as she looked at the two boys who walked chest to chest.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing John?” Ben asked angrily, his fists tightening.

“Ben—stop,” Melanie pleaded, trying to get in between the boys. “Not here, okay? Let’s just talk and leave John out of this.”

“No, Jesus Christ, Melanie. This has everything to do with him! Everything! It’s always been him! Dammit, why the hell did you drag me into this?” He yelled, raising his hands at her. He pointed his finger in her face. “You are not this girl. You are not a slut. What the hell happened to you?”

Melanie felt as if she had been slapped across the face; she knew her actions were whorish, but having them spat at her like that—plain and day, well, it hurt.

She felt John’s hands clasp around her shoulders and move her out of the way, stepping to Ben’s frame making them come face to face, “Don’t you dare talk to her like that ever again.”

“And what are you going to do about it, John? She’s got my ring on. She’s at my wedding rehearsal. She’s marrying me,” Ben taunted.

John scoffed and Melanie feared the next words he would speak, “Oh yeah, Ben? Well she has my mark all over her body. She has my lips stained onto the most intimate parts of her. Last night, she was filled up of me.”

“John!” Melanie scolded. He knew better than to even bring that up.

He looked at her before continuing, “It was my name she was screaming.”

She watched as Ben gathered his fist and swung his arm, knocking John straight to the ground. The two rolled around throwing punches, and she honestly couldn’t even tell who was winning. All she knew was that she hated it. She hated the violence and the fact that she wasn’t worth it. She hated that she had caused all of this hurt to everyone around her. She hated that the two boys she loved more than anything were acting like ten year olds fighting over a piece of meat. She hated it all.

So with one last glance, and a removal of her wedding ring she dried her tears and did what she did best—and she ran.