Lack of Color.

Erin.

Have you ever felt alone is a crowded room? Have you ever felt lost when you knew exactly where you were? Have you ever rambled on about completely nothing but still made sense to someone else? Irony; a statement that, when taken in context, may actually mean the opposite of what is written literally. I sat there silent, hands in my laps looking up at some man talk about someone he had no idea who she was. Didn’t know her secrets like I did, didn’t know the stupid shit she loved to do. Didn’t know how amazing that person was, that person that was lying cold in front of us like some display. I could hear the echo of sniffs and cries as the priest in front of us recited lines from a bible, something that Emily didn’t even believe in. I sat there not hearing a word he was saying, my hearing was shot. My sight was just as gone, the only thing I could see were blurs of shapes and colors splashed together like some painting in front me. After the ceremony, I stayed still not being able to move a muscle. I sat there for about an hour after the ceremony, not letting a single tear fall from my face.

“Erin sweetheart, it’s time to go.”

I looked up at my Mom and Dad staring down at me, both with red puffy eyes. I stood up following them out the church to the crowds of people standing around talking. I followed my parents straight to the car, making our way back to the Anderson’s home. I saw Emily’s parents sitting there, tears streaming from her face. They looked up seeing me standing there, a Daisy in my hand. I walked up to them, grabbing them into a hug. Still not allowing a single tear fall from my eyes, I knew Emily wouldn’t want any tears wasted on her. Once we got to my house, I laid in bed looking at the pictures surrounding my wall. Emily all over the place, looking down at me with a smile. How I would kill to hear that laugh of hers. Her lame jokes. She was the only one that would listen to shitty music and sing at the top of our lungs with. The only person that would ditch party to just stay home and watch movies. My best friend since we were about 12. Now she left me here all alone. That’s when I broke down letting the tears fall from my face. The tears I’ve been holding since I heard the news about the car accident.