Lack of Color.

Erin.

“I can’t believe you actually said that!”

“I know, it just kind of slipped out. You know how I get when I’m awkward and uncomfortable.”

“Yes, I know that very well Doll”, he said with a laugh.

“So how do you feel now that he’s home.”

“Weird, I got those butterflies when I saw him”, I said looking down at my phone, seeing a text from Tim telling me about a party.

“What do you think your brother will do if he finds out?”

“Kill John and then look for a new singer for the band.”

“I’m going to tell your brother.”

“Shut up!” I said with a laugh looking over at Francis.

“I don’t like that guy, he’s a douche.”

“You don’t even know him.”

“why are you defending him?”

I just shrugged my shoulder before texting Tim back. I could feel Francis stare on me, I tried my hardest to ignore it.

“What?!” I practically yelled getting frustrated.

“How are you?”

I looked up at him, my hand still kind of shaky. I shrugged and then looked back down at my phone. I wanted to cry, I had these moments where I felt overwhelmed and just missed Emily.

“I should get going”, I said getting off of his bed and grabbing him into a hug. “I’ll see you tonight?” I asked with a hopeful smile on my face making him laugh.

“Not a chance Doll, I see you tomorrow when I’m taking care of your hung-over ass.”

“Bye”, I said giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

I walked out of his house and into my car driving back home. Once I got inside the house, I saw John sitting there all alone. He turned around at the sound of the door shutting and stood up, looking at me tears in his eyes.

“Whats wrong John?” I asked getting really nervous, looking around for my brothers.

“I saw her parents.”

“What?” I asked getting closer holding on to his arms.

“I saw Emily’s parents at the store and I ran out”, he said taking a seat on the couch.

“Why did you run? I asked rubbing his back, trying my best to comfort him.

“I don’t know, I couldn’t face them; they probably hate me.”

“They love you John, you know that.”

“They did when I was with Emily, I’m a horrible boyfriend to their daughter”, he said as my heart broke, and I felt the tears in my eyes. All the emotions were going through my head, the jealousy in my stomach, the sadness and the fact that John was still in love with her and I didn’t stand a chance. Then guilt rushed over me.

I didn’t know what to say to him, so I grabbed him in a hug. He held on to me, making tears fall from my eyes. I pulled away looking over at him and I don’t know what came over me but I gave him a soft kiss on the lips. I pulled away realizing what I did, but when John grabbed me into him for another soft kiss. I felt his lips move against mine, his tongue sliding against mine. I pulled away, guilt rushing all over me.

“I got to go”, I said, leaving before he could.

“Erin.”

“John, please. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He just nodded letting me go. I got in my car, feeling the guilt rushing all over me. I finally parked the car, getting out of the car walking off. I kneeled down, feeling the tears falling from my eyes.

“Hey Emily”, I said rubbing the gravestone softly.

“Sorry I didn’t bring a daisy this time, but I just needed my best friend.” I closed my eyes feeling the tears falling from my eyes. “I think I’m falling for someone, I know finally”, I said with a laughing knowing what she would say to that.

That’s when I felt the tears falling down, like a stream going down my face. I opened my eyes once more, only seeing the blur from the tears.

“I can see why you loved John so much, you know he still loves you so much”, I said whipping the tears from my eyes.

“I know you know by now, that person I’m falling for is John. I think I’m in love with him Emily.”