Status: Complete.
Beside You
In Limbo 2
“Baby.”
“Yes, Jared, there’s a baby in Mommy’s belly,” Linda laughed, ruffling her youngest son’s reddish hair gently.
The three year old still showed some amazement and astonishment at his mother’s big belly although it had been there for quite a while. Marc’s 7th birthday had just passed and they were now in what Henry jokingly called the prime time, two weeks before the due date. Getting around in a house with four boys between three and nine hadn’t been the easiest task for Linda for a few weeks already and her sister and mother had been over almost every day to give her a hand. So far each Staal baby had been born during the two weeks before the due date, but Linda had a feeling that this one would be different. She just didn’t know just how different just yet.
A few minutes later the baby started to kick a little and like many times before Linda took Jared’s little hand and set it on the spot so he could feel the kicks, too. The first time they’d done that he’d actually been so freaked out that he wouldn’t come near ‘the belly’ for a while, but old hand Eric, who’d gone through this three times before, had convinced him it wasn’t an alien in Mommy’s belly after all.
The newest Staal addition was a pleasant surprise. After having four boys, unsuccessfully trying to add a girl into the Staal family that hadn’t had girls in what now looked to be three generations, Henry and Linda had decided that their not-so-little family was complete. The new pregnancy had been unplanned, but not unwelcome. This time it were both parents that were praying for a girl at last, but like the other times they were waiting until the birth to find out.
.
Just like Linda had predicted, this pregnancy was different. Madison Grace Staal was born two days after her due date on January 29th 1994, weighing 6 pounds 7 ounces at a length of 19 inches and thus being significantly smaller than her brothers at birth. The first time she opened her mouth she proved she could be just as loud as any of her brothers though and as Henry held his new daughter for the first time, he vowed he would never let anything happen to her.
.
“Okay, boys, you gotta be careful. She’s really, really small and fragile,” Henry instructed his sons before they tore into their mother’s hospital room.
“I don’t wanna see her,” Marc whined, shaking his head and crossing his arms over his chest. “Girls have cooties!”
Henry laughed and opened the door, ushering his sons in to meet their new sister.
“No, they don’t, besides she’s our sister, she’s not gonna give us cooties,” Eric rolled his eyes at his little brother, like what did he know? Eric was actually excited to have a sister for once, a few of his friends had little sisters and while those always complained about how annoying they were, he thought she couldn’t possibly be more annoying than his three little brothers. The least she would do was to mix things up a little and that was enough for the 9 year old.
Jordan and Jared didn’t really have an opinion, it seemed. Jordan appeared to be interested, but once he discovered that Madison was just a tiny, scrunched up, screaming and attention-hashing baby like Jared had been, he became neutral. Jared on the other hand was excited to have a smaller sibling and tried to get the infant to play with him and talk back to him, when he talked to her.
Each boy got to hold baby Maddie, Eric of course with the most expertise. Unlike with his brothers though he held her for quite a while and would continue to do so when they brought Madison home. Marc was forced to at least take a peek, Jordan sat through a minute of holding the baby like a trooper and Jared almost threw a fit when Henry told him he was too small to really hold Maddie on his own, then mastered the task brilliantly.
“You gotta watch out for her, okay? Protect her and keep an eye on her, boys,” Henry instructed his sons and the boys would do so, even when Madison wasn’t little and in need of much help anymore. Once a big brother, always a big brother.
.
.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
.
.
It took every little bit of willpower, strength and concentration for Jordan to get through the car ride after his two flights. He was tired, but he ignored it, eyes and mind set on the goal to reach his home town as fast as he could. Coffee, energy drinks, candy, that was supposed to keep him awake until he got there. But to be honest, he wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyway. While he drove, the radio playing quietly in the background so he wouldn’t drive in total silence, a silent prayer was on his lips the entire time. He felt so sick that a few times he feared he would have to pull over to throw up, but he pulled through.
So many ‘What if’s were running through his mind. What if he hadn’t treated her like shit for years? What if he’d made an effort to reach out to her, like she had reached out to him? What if he had listened to his teammates’ advice and tried to make peace with her? What if he didn’t take any opportunity to poke fun at her and tease her? What if he didn’t pretend to hate her, when in reality he loved her to pieces?
What if Maddie... what if the last thing he would have ever said to her was that he hated her, that he wished he didn’t have a sister? What if he would never get the opportunity to fix this? What if he would have to live with the guilt for the rest of his life? What if he could never tell her, if only one last time, that he loved her and that he was sorry?
What if...
.
It was really in the middle of the night when Jordan pulled the rental car into the parking lot of the hospital, a hospital that he was pretty familiar with. There’d been a few (more) times when he and his brothers had ended up in the ER to get some stitches or whatever. One time Jared had eaten two sticks of soap... And now Madison, the ever healthy little girl, who got rarely sick, had always shied away from dangerous activities like she could feel the bruises already before she got them, now she was in there and he was here, too, because it was bad.
“Madison Staal?” Jordan asked the receptionist, who of course recognized him and got another nurse to lead him to where the rest of his family was waiting.
Since Eric and Marc’s arrival they had been placed in a private waiting room. Up by the Intensive Care Unit. Most of them had been in the hospital for close to 12 hours, but everyone was still there, only Abby’s parents had gone home because they had to work the next today.
Abby was sprawled out across a few chairs, using Marc’s side as a pillow as he appeared to be napping as well. Linda was wrapped up in Henry’s arms and Eric was pacing the length of the room. Everyone shot up as soon as the door opened, they had been told they could see Maddie as soon as she was settled into the ICU and that was what they were waiting for. They all seemed to deflate, when Jordan came in.
“How is she?” he asked in a small voice, the tension in the room suddenly making him feel the exhaustion in his bones. Marc was rightfully glaring at him, Henry and Linda just looked sad, Eric like he couldn’t decide what he was supposed to do or say, so it was Abby who took action. With an expression that promised death and intense pain she marched right up to Jordan. She was absolutely furious, rightfully so, and there was nothing Jordan could do.
“You almost got your wish, you fucking asshole, are you fucking happy now?!” she hissed at him with tears of anger and tears of pain in her eyes. “She almost fucking died during surgery and they don’t know if she’ll make it through the next few hours. I hope you’re proud of yourself, Jordan, you’re a worthless piece of shit. I fucking hope she hates your guts until the end of time.”
Everyone in the room gulped at harsh words Abby had found for Jordan. Truth to be told was that Marc and Eric, even their parents, had quite some words to be said to their brother and son, but not like this. All Marc wanted to do was to punch his brother until he whimpered for mercy and Eric already knew how he was going to instill some fear and guilt in his younger brother. Linda and Henry had mostly already said what they had wanted to say. But Abby hadn’t and Jordan knew from hearsay and experience that Abby was amazing at holding grudges.
Jordan stood there with his head down and he knew he probably deserved everything Abby had said to him. He’d been thinking that the one time God granted one of his wishes and heard one of his prayers really hadn’t needed to be this time. The one time where he’d just sprouted off something again without thinking of the consequences, that of course had to be the time God decided to lend him an ear. Or God just wanted to teach him a lesson in a cruel, cruel way. Whichever one it was, it sucked.
“I need some air.” Abby’s sob broke the deathly silence and the teenager tore out of the room, losing her composure. With one hard look at Jordan Marc rushed after her, leaving the young forward with his parents and his oldest brother.
“She had some bleeding between the brain and the skull, so they put her in a coma. There are also some sprains and a lot of bruises, her leg got twisted up. They don’t know what else until she wakes up,” Henry explained quietly without looking at his blond son.
Henry was struggling with the situation. He’d seen how torn up Maddie had been about what Jordan had said to her, he’d never wanted to disown one of his sons before, but this time he came this close to it. And now his baby girl was lying broken in the ICU and no one knew if this was it.
But at the same time he looked at his son now and you could read the pain and guilt from Jordan’s face from a mile away. Henry didn’t always understand how or why Jordan acted the way he acted and he’d laid down the law on his 2nd youngest sons many times before for something he had done to his sister. But still, Jordan was his son and despite all the bad blood Jordan had caused, Henry knew that he was just as worried about his sister as everyone else.
“... she’s right,” Jordan pushed out, running a hand over his face. If he was waiting to hear someone tell him it wasn’t so, he was going to wait forever. A heavy sigh escaped him. “Can we... is she... can I see her?” He felt like it was too much to ask and yet he still had to. He didn’t feel like he deserved to see her, probably, if he were her, he wouldn’t even want himself here, but he needed to see her.
“We’re waiting for them to come tell us we can,” Linda answered, facing the same dilemma as everyone else. Caught between being mad at Jordan for what he’d said and her heart going out to him as he stood there, a picture of misery.
Jordan gave a short nod and sat down on a chair in the far back corner, far away from his parents and Eric. He slid down in the seat and leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes.
.
Dear God,
The only thing I ask of you is to hold her
when I’m not around, when I’m much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again
Once again
(Dear God – Avenged Sevenfold)
“Yes, Jared, there’s a baby in Mommy’s belly,” Linda laughed, ruffling her youngest son’s reddish hair gently.
The three year old still showed some amazement and astonishment at his mother’s big belly although it had been there for quite a while. Marc’s 7th birthday had just passed and they were now in what Henry jokingly called the prime time, two weeks before the due date. Getting around in a house with four boys between three and nine hadn’t been the easiest task for Linda for a few weeks already and her sister and mother had been over almost every day to give her a hand. So far each Staal baby had been born during the two weeks before the due date, but Linda had a feeling that this one would be different. She just didn’t know just how different just yet.
A few minutes later the baby started to kick a little and like many times before Linda took Jared’s little hand and set it on the spot so he could feel the kicks, too. The first time they’d done that he’d actually been so freaked out that he wouldn’t come near ‘the belly’ for a while, but old hand Eric, who’d gone through this three times before, had convinced him it wasn’t an alien in Mommy’s belly after all.
The newest Staal addition was a pleasant surprise. After having four boys, unsuccessfully trying to add a girl into the Staal family that hadn’t had girls in what now looked to be three generations, Henry and Linda had decided that their not-so-little family was complete. The new pregnancy had been unplanned, but not unwelcome. This time it were both parents that were praying for a girl at last, but like the other times they were waiting until the birth to find out.
.
Just like Linda had predicted, this pregnancy was different. Madison Grace Staal was born two days after her due date on January 29th 1994, weighing 6 pounds 7 ounces at a length of 19 inches and thus being significantly smaller than her brothers at birth. The first time she opened her mouth she proved she could be just as loud as any of her brothers though and as Henry held his new daughter for the first time, he vowed he would never let anything happen to her.
.
“Okay, boys, you gotta be careful. She’s really, really small and fragile,” Henry instructed his sons before they tore into their mother’s hospital room.
“I don’t wanna see her,” Marc whined, shaking his head and crossing his arms over his chest. “Girls have cooties!”
Henry laughed and opened the door, ushering his sons in to meet their new sister.
“No, they don’t, besides she’s our sister, she’s not gonna give us cooties,” Eric rolled his eyes at his little brother, like what did he know? Eric was actually excited to have a sister for once, a few of his friends had little sisters and while those always complained about how annoying they were, he thought she couldn’t possibly be more annoying than his three little brothers. The least she would do was to mix things up a little and that was enough for the 9 year old.
Jordan and Jared didn’t really have an opinion, it seemed. Jordan appeared to be interested, but once he discovered that Madison was just a tiny, scrunched up, screaming and attention-hashing baby like Jared had been, he became neutral. Jared on the other hand was excited to have a smaller sibling and tried to get the infant to play with him and talk back to him, when he talked to her.
Each boy got to hold baby Maddie, Eric of course with the most expertise. Unlike with his brothers though he held her for quite a while and would continue to do so when they brought Madison home. Marc was forced to at least take a peek, Jordan sat through a minute of holding the baby like a trooper and Jared almost threw a fit when Henry told him he was too small to really hold Maddie on his own, then mastered the task brilliantly.
“You gotta watch out for her, okay? Protect her and keep an eye on her, boys,” Henry instructed his sons and the boys would do so, even when Madison wasn’t little and in need of much help anymore. Once a big brother, always a big brother.
.
.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
.
.
It took every little bit of willpower, strength and concentration for Jordan to get through the car ride after his two flights. He was tired, but he ignored it, eyes and mind set on the goal to reach his home town as fast as he could. Coffee, energy drinks, candy, that was supposed to keep him awake until he got there. But to be honest, he wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyway. While he drove, the radio playing quietly in the background so he wouldn’t drive in total silence, a silent prayer was on his lips the entire time. He felt so sick that a few times he feared he would have to pull over to throw up, but he pulled through.
So many ‘What if’s were running through his mind. What if he hadn’t treated her like shit for years? What if he’d made an effort to reach out to her, like she had reached out to him? What if he had listened to his teammates’ advice and tried to make peace with her? What if he didn’t take any opportunity to poke fun at her and tease her? What if he didn’t pretend to hate her, when in reality he loved her to pieces?
What if Maddie... what if the last thing he would have ever said to her was that he hated her, that he wished he didn’t have a sister? What if he would never get the opportunity to fix this? What if he would have to live with the guilt for the rest of his life? What if he could never tell her, if only one last time, that he loved her and that he was sorry?
What if...
.
It was really in the middle of the night when Jordan pulled the rental car into the parking lot of the hospital, a hospital that he was pretty familiar with. There’d been a few (more) times when he and his brothers had ended up in the ER to get some stitches or whatever. One time Jared had eaten two sticks of soap... And now Madison, the ever healthy little girl, who got rarely sick, had always shied away from dangerous activities like she could feel the bruises already before she got them, now she was in there and he was here, too, because it was bad.
“Madison Staal?” Jordan asked the receptionist, who of course recognized him and got another nurse to lead him to where the rest of his family was waiting.
Since Eric and Marc’s arrival they had been placed in a private waiting room. Up by the Intensive Care Unit. Most of them had been in the hospital for close to 12 hours, but everyone was still there, only Abby’s parents had gone home because they had to work the next today.
Abby was sprawled out across a few chairs, using Marc’s side as a pillow as he appeared to be napping as well. Linda was wrapped up in Henry’s arms and Eric was pacing the length of the room. Everyone shot up as soon as the door opened, they had been told they could see Maddie as soon as she was settled into the ICU and that was what they were waiting for. They all seemed to deflate, when Jordan came in.
“How is she?” he asked in a small voice, the tension in the room suddenly making him feel the exhaustion in his bones. Marc was rightfully glaring at him, Henry and Linda just looked sad, Eric like he couldn’t decide what he was supposed to do or say, so it was Abby who took action. With an expression that promised death and intense pain she marched right up to Jordan. She was absolutely furious, rightfully so, and there was nothing Jordan could do.
“You almost got your wish, you fucking asshole, are you fucking happy now?!” she hissed at him with tears of anger and tears of pain in her eyes. “She almost fucking died during surgery and they don’t know if she’ll make it through the next few hours. I hope you’re proud of yourself, Jordan, you’re a worthless piece of shit. I fucking hope she hates your guts until the end of time.”
Everyone in the room gulped at harsh words Abby had found for Jordan. Truth to be told was that Marc and Eric, even their parents, had quite some words to be said to their brother and son, but not like this. All Marc wanted to do was to punch his brother until he whimpered for mercy and Eric already knew how he was going to instill some fear and guilt in his younger brother. Linda and Henry had mostly already said what they had wanted to say. But Abby hadn’t and Jordan knew from hearsay and experience that Abby was amazing at holding grudges.
Jordan stood there with his head down and he knew he probably deserved everything Abby had said to him. He’d been thinking that the one time God granted one of his wishes and heard one of his prayers really hadn’t needed to be this time. The one time where he’d just sprouted off something again without thinking of the consequences, that of course had to be the time God decided to lend him an ear. Or God just wanted to teach him a lesson in a cruel, cruel way. Whichever one it was, it sucked.
“I need some air.” Abby’s sob broke the deathly silence and the teenager tore out of the room, losing her composure. With one hard look at Jordan Marc rushed after her, leaving the young forward with his parents and his oldest brother.
“She had some bleeding between the brain and the skull, so they put her in a coma. There are also some sprains and a lot of bruises, her leg got twisted up. They don’t know what else until she wakes up,” Henry explained quietly without looking at his blond son.
Henry was struggling with the situation. He’d seen how torn up Maddie had been about what Jordan had said to her, he’d never wanted to disown one of his sons before, but this time he came this close to it. And now his baby girl was lying broken in the ICU and no one knew if this was it.
But at the same time he looked at his son now and you could read the pain and guilt from Jordan’s face from a mile away. Henry didn’t always understand how or why Jordan acted the way he acted and he’d laid down the law on his 2nd youngest sons many times before for something he had done to his sister. But still, Jordan was his son and despite all the bad blood Jordan had caused, Henry knew that he was just as worried about his sister as everyone else.
“... she’s right,” Jordan pushed out, running a hand over his face. If he was waiting to hear someone tell him it wasn’t so, he was going to wait forever. A heavy sigh escaped him. “Can we... is she... can I see her?” He felt like it was too much to ask and yet he still had to. He didn’t feel like he deserved to see her, probably, if he were her, he wouldn’t even want himself here, but he needed to see her.
“We’re waiting for them to come tell us we can,” Linda answered, facing the same dilemma as everyone else. Caught between being mad at Jordan for what he’d said and her heart going out to him as he stood there, a picture of misery.
Jordan gave a short nod and sat down on a chair in the far back corner, far away from his parents and Eric. He slid down in the seat and leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes.
.
Dear God,
The only thing I ask of you is to hold her
when I’m not around, when I’m much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again
Once again
(Dear God – Avenged Sevenfold)
♠ ♠ ♠
Thanks for all the comments on the last one! Sorry that it took so long to get the next one out :(Are there any memories you would like to see? Anything in particular you'd like to glimpse into from their childhoods? Let me know!
Thanks for reading! :) <3