Beside You

“I remember the first time I held you, you were so tiny...” Dad remarked with a slightly wistful tone. Mom was out with a few of her girl friends and all my brothers were spread over the US again to play hockey, so it was just Dad and me having a quiet evening together.

I’ll admit that there were a few things that my family did that I didn’t like anymore, like my Mom checking up on me all the time when I had friends over or Dad watching over all my guy friends with my brothers or Gram reminding me to wear a hat and scarf and gloves or generally just everybody acting like I was still 5 instead of just three weeks shy of 17. But I’ll never get too old to curl up with my Dad on the couch like we’ve done since I can remember, watching a good movie and him stroking my hair every now and then.

We didn’t get many of these quiet moments anymore, school and riding and just everyday life getting in the way, but when we did, I always enjoyed it a lot. I had more male influences in my life than female, which automatically made me a lot closer to my Mom, but deep down I was a Daddy’s girl through and through. Dad’s not the biggest speaker and like pretty much every male person I know he’s got problems expressing and showing his feelings, but his actions have always spoken louder than his words. I can’t remember how many times he was the one carting me around to various friends’ places and riding competitions, although he’d been working at the farm all day, and there were many. I can also remember a lot of times, where he came home bringing me back something just out of the blue. A girly magazine I’d seen at Abby’s and couldn’t finish reading, some hair clips I’d really wanted but didn’t have money for, Cds of my newest favorite bands, coffee and/or Timbits from Tim Horton’s, my favorite candies, sometimes even flowers (Mom always got some too, of course). There were probably a million of little memory pieces in my boxes up in my room.

“And now you’re all big, a teenager...”

“Going on my first date,” I added, knowing that was what set him off. There were countless times when the 5 men in my life had made it clear to me that I was not to date until I was at least 35 and that I would be wearing a chastity belt come the time I become a teenager. Of course they were somewhat empty threats, but they did have some truth in them as well. I could imagine that it was quite hard for Dad watching his only baby girl growing up like this. He was doing a good job so far, letting me have my space, but still hovering in the back incase he was needed. And I would always need him.

“Yeah...” I let out a laugh, because he sounded so dejected and crestfallen about it, it was almost comical.

“Matt’s a good guy though,” I pointed out and felt Dad nod from where I’d cushioned my head on his chest.

Later, when I’d fallen asleep towards the end of the movie, Mom was back and Dad somehow managed to carry me upstairs into my room, he would sit beside my bed for a while, watching me sleep and reminisce about past times. Then he’d brush my hair from my face and kiss my temple, me waking up just long enough to tell him I loved him too, before I fell back asleep, securely tucked in by Dad.

“I’m so nervous,” I groaned, trying to hold still as Abby brushed my hair. “Ouch!” Abby just rolled her eyes and continued her torture on my head. “I would like to keep some of my hair, if you don’t mind.”

Abby laughed and finished with a last stroke. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, on a scale from 1 to 10, how nervous are you?”

“15?” I offered weakly and she continued laughing at me, while she pulled my hair half up and curled some of the ends of the rest of it.

I was very thankful that she’d offered to help me get ready, because I knew that I would definitely not have looked like I looked right now, if I’d gotten myself ready. I would have pulled out one of my nicer tops, maybe the one from Christmas, left my hair as it was and maybe put on some more make up other than the mascara and slight eyeliner I usually wore. Now I was wearing a pair of black pants, a grey and black striped summer dress with a black cardigan above it and I was pleased to see that I actually looked quite different from the usual me at the barn that Matt had known for a few years now. This was a date, not a riding lesson in the paddock and I wanted to be dressed as such.

The last piece to complete my outfit was the bracelet Matt had given me on New Year’s and then I was ready to go.

“My God, you are so beautiful, Maddie,” Mom smiled almost tearfully as I bounded down the stairs to wait in the living room until Matt would pick me up. I gave her a shy smile back and sat down, lacing my hands in my lap. It was probably really lucky for me that my brothers were all away, because they would for sure be sitting there in the living room with me with the Spanish Inquisition written on their faces. Now it was just Dad, but he looked pretty peaceful for ‘such a big event’.

Abby let out a laugh when the door bell finally rang and Mom scrambled to get it. My best friend and I exchanged looks, wide smiles and wide eyes on both on our faces. She knew for how long I’d liked Matt and how much I liked him, too and she was more than happy to see this take off finally.

Even in his thick coat, where only his dark wash jeans and some fancier black shoes I’d never seen before were visible, Matt looked... amazing. I started doubting I would be able to eat even a bite of our planned dinner before the traditional movie afterwards, with the way my stomach started tingling. His smile as usual made me forget what I’d just been thinking about.

It was unbelievably weird to greet him with everybody watching, but fortunately Dad made no weird comments, Mom didn’t gush and Abby didn’t say much either. Dad only reminded Matt that I had to be back by 11 the latest because it was a school night and Matt promised to have me back earlier if possible. Before I knew it we were out the door and Matt held open the passenger door to his Dad’s truck, helping me inside.

Matt was a guy to keep his promises. When he pulled back into the driveway in front of my house, it was exactly 10.34pm. He shut off the car and hurried around it to open the door and help me out again. He offered me his arm for the short way from the car to my door and I couldn’t help but smile widely.

The date had been a full, 100% success. We’d eaten pizza and pasta at a great little Italian diner and then gone to see a movie and never once I’d felt uncomfortable and never once we’d run out of things to talk about and say. Matt had unbelievably thoughtful with everything. My foot was already doing better, but it still wasn’t much fun walking around a lot, which was why Matt had chosen the traditional dinner and movie date set-up, so I could just sit and still have fun. Additionally he’d taken me to see the new Narnia movie, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, in 3D. From start to finish, it was a perfect first date and I hoped there were many more to come.

“So...” Matt shuffled slightly on the spot. I had my key in hand to let myself in and prayed to any Gods above that my parents would not come open the door for me and interrupt this moment as we said goodbye. “I’ll see you in school tomorrow then?”

“Yes,” I nodded shyly and tried my best to hold still as he leaned in to kiss my cold cheek softly.

“Good night, Madison,” Matt smiled at me and my lips automatically curled into a smile as well.

“Good night, Matt.”

He waited until I was inside until he started the car. I listened to his car pull out of the driveway, leaning against the inside of the door with the silliest smile on my face that I just could not wipe off.

It was lucky coincidence, or maybe purpose?, that I got up to my room without my parents immediately coming to me to question me all about the date. I knew they would want to know how it went, but I didn’t feel like talking about it yet, I just wanted to lie in bed and continue dreaming. Nevertheless I went to my stereo and found an old mix-Cd that Abby had given me.

There used to be a time that Mom and I watched the show 7th heaven a lot and when Ruthie Camden had her first date, when she got home she listened to the song ‘Kiss me’ by Sixpence none the richer. I could remember telling Mom that I liked that song, too, and that if I had a good first date, I would play the song so she would know I had a good time.

.

.

The next morning at school Abby was waiting for me in front of my locker and we only had to share a big smile for her to know I’d had a lot of fun.

“You look... love struck,” she crinkled her nose, tilting her head as if it would help her examine me better. “Yep, definitely. Don’t let your brothers know.”

I laughed and took out the books that I needed. “Matt asked permission,” I gave his secret away and Abby whistled through her teeth.

“That’s... I hope he’s got a bad side somewhere, because right now he sounds perfect,” she chuckled, looping her arm through mine. “He really asked your Dad and your brothers for permission? Not bad, Mr Jason, not bad at all.”

“I’m pretty sure he asked Dad and Marc, I don’t know about the others,” I shrugged.

“Yeah, because Jared would’ve told you and Eric wouldn’t have been able to keep his mouth shut,” Abby smirked, a perfect assessment of my brothers. That she didn’t need to mention Jordan went without saying.

“Exactly,” I laughed and took my place in our history class.

“Hi, Madison. Abby. Mind if I join you?”

Abby and I had just sat down at lunch. We usually sat together with a changing crowd of our other friends sitting with us, but today there were only me and her, Isabel and Peter were still in the queue.

I looked up and smiled at Matt involuntarily. “Sure, have a seat,” I nodded quickly, trying not to blush or make a face at Abby, when he sat down right next to me. He left enough space between us for it to count as friendly still, but that was enough to turn me away from my lunch. Sometime these butterflies would stop. They would have to, otherwise I would lose pound over pound very quickly.

Matt quickly picked up a nice conversation that included everyone at the table, not just me and while he was explaining something to Pete, Abby caught my eyes. She gave me her best smirk (she’s got a really good one) and mouthed love struck at me. I rolled my eyes and continued to poke at my lunch. I was not love struck!