Dear Jimmy

~Sam~

It was much later and we were all drinking beers and talking amongst ourselves. Brian and Johnny were considerably drunker then before. Johnny was flailing his arms around trying to explain something when he knocked a glass from the table, shattering on the floor, broken glass spraying everywhere. Seeing the broken glass on the floor brought me back to being held captive.
I sat in the corner, my knees huddled to my chest as blood dripped onto my lap. I gently rocked back and forth as I tried to hide my sobs of fear. All the sudden the door opened and I looked up, seeing the same greasy guy holding a tray of food. He set it on the floor in front of him and smiled deviously. He said something in another language and a bunch of people piled in, bags of glass bottles clanking around in their hands. They spread out through the room and threw the bags on the floor, the broken glass flying everywhere. I shielded my face in an attempt to avoid as much glass as I could. I stifled my cries of pain as glass shredded at my hands and legs. The guys spread the glass all over the floor, creating a layer of broken glass all over the floor. They walked out of the room without saying anything else, leaving the greasy haired guy and me.
“You want food, you suffer for food!” With that he slammed the door behind him, leaving me in darkness once again. I tried to think about the best way to go about getting the food without hurting myself to badly. I stood up and stepped on the first piece of glass, crying out in agony as the glass pierced the skin in my foot. I carefully stepped, trying to be as light on my feet as I could, crying with each step. I took another step, my foot slipping out from under me and I fell on my face, crying as glass pierced my face, hands, arms, and torso. I lay there as tears fell down onto the floor as I clenched my hands, instantly letting go as I clenched glass deeper into my hands. I slowly pushed myself up onto my feet and bit my tongue in pain as glass dug into cuts that were already there. Finally I stood in front of the tray of food, bending down to grab it, crying out as the pressure increased on my feet. I walked back slowly, a blood trail following me. I sat down where I was before, setting the tray beside me and slowly pulling the glass from my feet, gasping out in pain. One by one I pulled shards of glass out of my feet, arms, and face. There was blood everywhere and my entire body had stinging pains shooting through it. I swallowed my pain and reached for my food, groaning in pain as the food slid down my throat.
“SAM???” someone shouted bringing me out of my flashback. I looked up to see all the guys staring at me as I clenched my feet, gently rocking back and forth.
“Are you okay?” Jimmy asked from beneath me. He went to wrap his arm around my shoulder and I flinched away, his arm falling to his side in defeat. I looked around and shot out of Jimmy’s lap and ran through Matt’s house and into my truck. I flew into the bed and leaned against the back of my truck. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths trying to calm myself down.
“SAM!” I heard Jimmy shout from beside. I turned my head to look at him but didn’t move. He climbed in and sat in front of me and looked at me with patient eyes.
“What happened back there?” he asked quietly. I turned to look at him and sighed to myself.
“The broken glass…it brought back…. memories.” I said shakily. He gently placed his hand on my cheek and forced me to look at him.
“What happened?” he asked. I shook my head as tears leaked slid down my cheeks, his thumb sliding them away. He pulled his hand away and rested them on my thighs. “Tell me.” he demanded softly, his eyes full of concern and sadness.
“Lots of glass. Glass everywhere. Pain, groaning, stinging.” I said shaking my head. I brought my hands to my head, shaking the visions out of my head.
“Baby!” I heard his voice but it sounded so far away, he seemed to be slipping farther and farther away from me. It was silent for a while and I kept thinking about the glass on the floor, ripping the bottom of my feet apart.
“You are my sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are gray.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away” he stopped singing and looked back at me as I stared at him blankly. He took a deep breath and started up again.
“The other night, dear,
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear,
I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are gray.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Please don't take my sunshine away.” I stared at him and blinked slowly, feeling myself become in control again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into him, and he easily hoisted me into his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around me.
“Thank you.” I whispered into his neck.
“I don’t want you unhappy, ever! You have to know I would do anything in my power to see you smile.” He said leaning his head down so my mouth was right next to his ear.
“I love you, so much.” I said.
“Do you want to go to my house tonight?” he asked quietly and I nodded. “Alright, lemme go tell the guys we’re leaving. You want me to drive?” again I nodded and he nodded before motioning me of his lap. I got out of the bed of the truck and climbed into the passenger seat. It was a few minutes before he walked back out and into the driver’s side. The ride was fairly quiet and before I knew it we were pulling into his driveway. We got out and made our way inside and I sat on the couch and took a couple deep breaths.
“Are you feeling better?” Jimmy asked from behind me and I nodded.
“Yeah. That’s the fastest I’ve come out of a spell.” I said. He came around the couch and sat next to me.
“How often do you have them?” he asked.
“Not very often. Certain things trigger them.” I said sighing.
“Is it PTSD?” he asked and I nodded.
“I have the mildest form of it.” I said.
“We’ll get through it I promise.” He said. I smiled at him and got off the couch and headed into the kitchen.
“I love you!” He called out making me smile.
“I tolerate you.” I replied laughing.
“Tanks baby!” he said laughing. I grabbed a soda and walked back over to where I was sitting next to him again. He reached for a sip and I moved the can so it was out of his reach making him pout.
“You don’t love me anymore do you?” he pouted and crossed his arms making me toss the soda on the couch across from me and tackle him in a hug.
“No I’m sorry. I do love you. I do!! I promise. I love you.” I said, planting kisses all over his face. He laughed and wrapped his arms around me and moved so I was lying under him.
“Alright I suppose I could forgive you…” he said laughing.
“Tanks baby!” I said quoting him.