Take It to Heart

“When are you going to introduce him to your mum?”

“Do you think she’d like one of his shows?”

“He’s not going to meet my mum.”

“He has to eventually.”

“We’re not sixteen, he doesn’t have to come knocking on my door—”

“To knock boots.”

“Stop it—”

“I’m just saying things are moving quickly.”

“We’re not even officially—”

“You’ve sucked his—”

“Hey!”

Anna and Naomi became a force to reckon with. After the initial territory war fought by Anna, she flew her white flag and opened her borders to Naomi. At first I was relieved. Naomi stopped trying to earn a sister card that never exist and Anna accepted that her best friend could have other friends. And then they turned on me. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep your private life private with two people incessantly badgering?

Obviously they had valid points. Oliver and I moved quickly in the week since London. My own bed went unused for days at a time. It became just another surface where I threw clothes, piled mail. Oliver bought extra pillows for his bed. I kept a toothbrush and towel in the bathroom. I even let Oskar sleep with us, curled next to our tangled feet. It wasn’t like he was clearing a dresser drawer for me or making an extra key, but my presence was easily seen in each room of the flat.

Seated on the floor of Anna’s apartment, her and Naomi easily quipped at me from the sofa. I tried not to let it get to me, but each comment about commitment or Oliver meeting my mum chipped away at the back of my mind. When I wasn’t with them I played the scenarios in my head. It made me excited and it made me doubtful. On one hand it meant taking the relationship to another level, which I wanted but couldn’t quite speak for Oliver. On the other it meant the possibility of my mum hating him. That would weigh on me, no matter how much I would disagree with her.

So instead of choosing a path, I treaded water between decisions.

“I could say the same things about you and Godfrey,” I told Anna, picking at the fraying ends of the living room rug.

She scoffed. “Hardly the same thing. We’ve never shagged sober.”

Naomi nodded, knowingly. “That’s basically the new criteria for modern relationships.”

“Your mum would get over it eventually. You said you dad got on with him,” Anna said.

“My dad is different from my mum thought. She’s… judgey,” I replied,

Naomi mumbled in agreement.

“I’d rather only have her find out when I know it’s serious. That way I don’t jinx it, and her opinion will have less weight on my decision, all right?”

“Okay, okay, we’ll drop it.” Anna threw up her hands in defeat.
_____

The following morning Oliver’s mobile rang early, singing with the birds. He rolled, barely conscious, and fished for it beneath his pillows. Through squinting, light-sensitive eyes he brought it to his face. With a growl, Oliver sent the phone flying off the side of his mattress. Oskar lifted his head from the foot of the bed and watched us. I felt myself drifting away back to sleep when it went off again. This time it was me who whined and rolled over to face Oli’s side of the bed.

“Who even calls this early?” My voice was heavy with sleep.

His body dangled over the edge of the bed, hunting for what he’d just thrown away. Meanwhile the call tone continued to ring louder and louder.

I grabbed a pillow and pressed it over my face. “Just answer it!”

Oliver growled. “It’s my ex.”

I peaked back out from the pillow. That certainly woke me up. He watched me, waiting for a response. I raised my eyebrows. “Well, go on.”

He huffed and answered the phone with a “what?” I couldn’t make out the words, but I could hear a woman’s voice squeak out between his ear and the speaker. Oliver looked annoyed, listening with his eyes shut and his body stiff.

“Now?” He spoke finally. “It’s early.”

He rolled his head side to side, gently cracking his neck. “Fine.”

Oliver hung up the phone and let his body drop back to the mattress. He looked at me. His eyes were tired and his jaw was tight. His head nuzzled into my chest. Oskar tried to wiggle in between us, but Oli shooed him away with his arm.

“She’s in town and wants to grab the rest of her things,” he told me. His warm breath coated my skin.

“When?” I asked. I brushed down his messy hair with my hand.

“She’s already on her way.”

Neither of us said anything else for a while. He eventually peeled himself from my side and tugged on a shirt and sweatpants. I heard him make his way into the bathroom and run the faucet, Oskar on his heels. I stayed in the bed, but reached over the side to grab my leggings. I slipped them on under the covers. Oliver reentered the room and went to his closet. Inside was a box and fabric tote bag. He carried them back out the door. We sat propped up against the pillows and waited. I finally looked at my phone. 8:30. We’d gone to sleep just after three.

“Want me to make coffee?” he asked.

I nodded. We heard the knock as he got back up. Oskar started barking and skidded down the hall to yap at the door. Even though you couldn’t see into the room from the main part of the flat, I asked him to the shut the door as he left. The moment he closed it I was out of the bed, ear pressed to the wood. So I was curious, sue me.

I couldn’t hear what was said at the main door, but soon her boots clicked against the wooden floors.

“Is it just these two?” Amanda asked. Her voice was soft.

“Tom said he got the paintings to you last week,” Oliver replied.

“Right, yeah.”

And then it was silent, but I didn’t hear either of them move. The only sound was Oskar, humming to be pet.

“What’s she like?”

My ears actually perked up and my eyes went wide. She continued, her voice sounding sad like her throat was getting smaller. “There’s two mugs on the counter… and her shoes are by the door.”

I could imagine Oliver fidgeting the way he did when I called him out for having a girlfriend. And now I was on the other side of that situation, literally on the other side of the door.

“C’mon, Amanda,” Oliver said.

“I… Just good luck to her, I hope she can handle you.”

There was shuffling and then the sound of her boots leaving the apartment echoed away. I pushed away from the door and retreated back to the bed, waiting for Oliver to come back in the room. He stayed in the kitchen for a while before returning to the room with coffee mugs in hand. He used the one I’d given to him at Christmas.

“Went okay?” I asked. I stretched out my legs and arms, like I hadn’t left the bed yet.

Oli nodded. “S’fine.”

“Now that we’re up, do you want to go get breakfast?” I offered.

Instead Oliver stripped off his sweatpants and got back into the bed. He rolled onto his stomach and pressed his face into the pillow. “Just a few more hours.”
___

The clock in Broomhill Library ticked noisily, echoing through the empting building. I fingered through a magazine while leaned over the counter at the front entrance. No one else worked today and definitely no one wanted to check out books. It was a wonder why I still agreed to work here. The pay was shite. I was bored out of my skull and left alone with my own thoughts.

Since leaving Oliver’s this morning when he decided to go back to bed, Amanda’s words looped over and over in my mind. I might have been reading about the best beauty secrets for winter makeup, but I was really wondering what she meant by being able to handle Oliver.

If she meant his lifestyle, I already knew I couldn’t keep up. Sure, I drank and smoked and tried my best, but my limit was easily crossed. Oliver, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have a limit. And I hadn’t dealt with him on tour yet. I figured I’d cross that bridge when I came across it. Him leaving in mid February to record in the Lake District would be a trial for that. I guess I mainly tried to convince myself that I could handle him, or whatever that meant. I might not look or act like the other women he’s been with, but wasn’t that the point?

The rest of my shift at Broomhill ticked by slowly. At half five Naomi’s car pulled up behind the building. She leaned over the center console to unlock the passenger door.

“Hiya,” she greeted.

I pulled the seatbelt tightly across my chest and threw my bag at my feet.

“Do you think I can handle Oliver?”

Naomi watched me out of the corner of her eye, keeping her head forward toward the road. “What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t know… he’s older than me. He lives a really different lifestyle from me. Do you think he’s the same around me as he is with everyone? Or am only getting one side of the dice?” I trailed off. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t be daft,” she replied. “I think there’s a lot you don’t know about him. But you’re not some little girl who doesn’t know how life works. I don’t think there’s anything you can’t handle.”

She pulled the car into a petrol station. “You have a tener?”

I tossed Naomi my wallet and continued to skulk in the passenger seat. I drew small swirls along the edge of the fogged up window and watched people walk by. Oliver texted and asked if I wanted to come by the Drop Dead shop later. I said I would, if I had time. Of course I had time, but mum was making dinner and university started back up on Monday. I needed to get myself ready, even though I knew I should enjoy my last commitment free weekend.

Mum made meat pies for dinner. She piled our plates with whipped potatoes and vegetables. A tray of decorated tarts waited on the counter for dessert.

“How’s Anna, love?” Mum asked, passing me a ladle with gravy. That’s where she thinks I’ve been staying for the last week.

I smiled. “Feeling better finally.”

“Good,” she said. “Cosmo misses you. Maybe you’ll find time for you cat this week.”

I turned my eyes away from the table and to the foot of the stairs where my fat cat lay across the bottom step. He slept with a paw dangling off the edge. I doubt he missed me. What he really missed was how often I spoiled him with treats.
“Are you ready for classes?” Charlie asked. Naomi conveniently scooped a bite of food into her mouth.

I glared at her. “I only have two. They’ll be difficult, but at least I won’t have to juggle as many as last term.”

“Naomi?” My mum asked.

“So ready. They’re all sorted.” She smiled around her food and nodded.

“Great. Oh I can’t believe you two are nearly done!” Mum clapped her hands together. “We’ll have to figure out something to do for your graduations. You’ll have to really start thinking about what you want to do after university.”

My mum and Charlie still didn’t know I interviewed in London. Instead of answering we nodded and smiled and continued to eat through the silence.

“Do you two have plans tonight?” Charlie asked.

We’d finally gotten to dessert, almost free. Naomi shrugged and looked at me.

“I wanted to go to that new club downtown. A load of my mates will be there,” she said. I’d declined her invitation to go earlier.

“Are you going, Rose?” Mum questioned.

“I haven’t decided yet. I think I’ll just go to Anna’s.”

I stood and started to clear the dishes from the table. Mum said something about not catching whatever Anna was sick with before classes started. Then conversation switch to Charlie and I was off the hook.
___

“Oliver?”

I called out his name through the crack in the Drop Dead garage. When I didn’t hear anything, I bent and slipped my fingers in the small gap beneath the metal and pushed the door up from the floor. I assumed he’d been the one to take the big padlock off. The noise ricocheted through the building. In the back of the storage unit, I saw Oliver’s body pop through the door leading to the main area of the store.

“Hey, love. Didn’t hear you.”

I smiled as he sauntered over and helped me lower the door back to the ground. He looked like he’d been smoking, with a droopy smile and mellow eyes. With the door back in its spot, he turned to me and snaked his arms around my waist. I rested my forearms on his shoulders and played with the back of his hair.

We started kissing. First long and slow before he turned hungry. His hands traveled from my waist to my ass to the backs of my thighs. And then he lifted my body until my hips met his and my legs hooked around the back of him. Oliver never looked strong, but he was. He walked forward and set me on top of a workbench. He undid the oversized buttons on my coat quickly and worked it off my shoulders.

Oli’s cold hands moved under my sweater and up my sides until they cupped the sides of my breasts through my bra. Once the sweater was off, he kissed down my neck, between my cleavage and toward my belly button. All the while I watched, taking in the sight of lusting for me. I lay back and propped myself on my elbows. My legs still dangled off the side of the table. Oliver used one hand to pull the waistband of my leggings and the other to unbuckle his own belt.

“No one’s here?” I breathed.

“No.”

What he meant to say was no one was here, yet. My last moan was barely through my lips when Oliver’s phone signaled a message. He ignored it, hovering over the workbench to steal another kiss from my mouth. I sat up from the wood surface and ran my fingers up under his shirt, which he hadn’t taken off in the commotion. He stepped out from between my legs, pulled his pants back up, and reached for his phone as it signaled again.

“Some of the lads are almost here,” he said.

I rolled my eyes. “You could have mentioned they’d be coming round.”

“We had time.”

I pulled up my underwear and leggings and hopped off the bench. I scooped my sweater and coat into a pile and headed turned toward the hall door.

“Hey,” Oliver reached out and grabbed my elbow. He looked puzzled. “Are you mad?”

“No, I just want to clean up before anyone sees me,” I replied. I wasn’t mad, not really. Just maybe a little embarrassed by letting myself get carried away. I’d be loud, and if anyone had been waiting outside the garage they’d be sure to hear us.

I made it into the bathroom and quickly changed. I attempted to sort out my hair, but ended up braiding it to the side instead. My cheeks were still flushed and my lips puffy. I ran a finger under my eyes to smooth out the eyeliner that’d gone awry. As I finished, voices started to travel through the building.

Tom, Matt N., and Godfrey lounged on the long couch in the backroom. They already passed a bowl between them with a rerun of Sheffield United on the tele. Oliver waited for me to join him on the loveseat. I sat next to him and lay my legs over the top of his.

“You alright guys?” I greeted.

They all nodded, continuing what they’d been talking about. It was something about the new album. Oliver didn’t talk much about it, but I occasionally saw him scribbling words in a notebook. I don’t think he wanted to admit how stressed he was.

“How much do you have done before you go?” I asked. “Or is most of it done there?

Matt shrugged. “Depends. I always have an idea of beats or rhythms that I was to try. But everything can change once we’re there.”

“Which album is this?”

“Fourth,” Oliver said.

“Do they ever get easier to make?”

“Never.”