Take It to Heart

“Who does this bird think she is?” Thomas asked, eyeing me as I passed by him and up the stairs. He looked familiar, but I assumed it was just the similarity between him and Oliver.

“Tom, this is Rose,” he replied, not explaining. He let me into the main office of the building before sitting himself down in a swivel chair in front of a massive computer screen. I took the chair next to him and slipped of my heavy overcoat.

How Oliver ushered me in and acted like we were mates was awkward for me. Sure, we were friendly for the most part, but it was a whole point of view change. I felt like I was seeing him as someone who I got along with and liked being around. In reality, I wasn’t so sure that was the true. I had to push aside how uncomfortable I felt.

“So you alright?” he asked as a proper greeting. His tattooed fingers typed away on the computer, answering what looked like e-mails.

“Bit of a spat with my mum at dinner,” I replied truthfully, “you honestly saved me from a well awkward return home. You?”

“Business things, as usual, and I’ve been working on a new design. If this computer will hurry up, I’ll show you it, yeah?”

Tom appeared in the room a moment later and perched himself on the counter nearby, just watching me. I got the feeling I was being sized up and analyzed. In a way, I did the same. The resemblance between Oliver and his brother was more than just their lanky frames, sharp noses, and horrible first impressions. They had the same mannerisms. There was just a vibe they gave off than when together was obvious. They both crossed their left leg over the right and looked standoffish if you didn’t know better, which I hardly did.

Finally, it hit me. I knew why Oliver’s brother looked so familiar. I turned my head away from Oliver, who was talking and sorting through his computer files, and looked at his brother. Tom, still seated on the counter, texted furiously.

“Do you know Anna Finch?” I fired in his direction.

He looked up from his iPhone and twisted his face. He shrugged, “Only by name. She’s friends with one of my best mates, I think.”

I nodded slowly. “You were at her massive party last year,” I said more to myself than him, “when we hot-boxed her mum’s car while it was still in the garage and set off the smoke detectors.”

“Aye, I was,” he replied, losing the peeved looks he had been giving me, “she hasn’t had a party since, has she?”

I shook my head. “Her mum threatened to stop paying for uni if she smoked again, and that was the only reason she had those parties.”

“You don’t seem the type that would hot-box a car,” Oliver piped up. I’d just realized he was paying attention to our conversation.

“I don’t seem like the type for a lot of things,” I retorted, defensive.

“Fair enough. Anyway, what do you think of this? I’m so stoked for it. It’s the first I’ve completely designed without much help from Tom or anyone. Took me hours.”

I glanced over to his computer screen where Photoshop was opened; a design sporting his company logo filled the screen. It was a blue glowing skeleton climbing out of a coffin and covered in blue goop. I shrugged, “It’s cool.”

“Cool?” he repeated, “that’s it?”

I shrugged again. “I guess. Don’t get your knickers in a twist.”

Oliver rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Well you don't exactly have any style yourself, so your opinion doesn’t honestly matter.”

“Then why the hell did you ask?” I scoffed. I curled my arms into my side, suddenly conscious of what I was wearing. I usually never gave it a second thought, but now I felt uncomfortable. “Obviously I’m not the only one who thinks it’s mediocre or you wouldn’t ask, and you’d see it in shops.”

I almost made another bad comment about his clothing, like and how maybe people only buy and wear it because he’s in a band, but I didn’t. Oliver didn’t know I knew he was in a band and he’d never mentioned it. I figured it was for the better that I never mixed into that side of his life, so I snapped my mouth shut and swallowed my negativity.

“Whatever, Rose.”

“Why am I even here?” I asked. It was really only supposed to be a question in my mind, but I ended up saying it aloud. Word vomit, I was always ill with it.

Oliver saved and closed the open Photoshop tab and the internet. His whole demeanor changed and he didn’t look mad anymore. Maybe he was the type to argue and pretend nothing actually happened. “I honestly needed a favor, that’s why I wanted you to come over here.”

“Because I’m so fond of giving out favors, especially to you,” I mumbled and crossed my arms.

“Just think it over, yeah?” he asked, “I need someone to house-sit while I’m away for work. I just need you to check in on my dog.”

“Your dog?”

“Oskar. He just needs to be fed; maybe you could get my post too?” he added.

I uncrossed my arms and relaxed into the seat again. “You want me to house sit? But, why me? We’ve only just met, remember? Can’t your brother, or mum, or something?”

“Tom is comin’ with me this weekend and I already asked my mum, she’s meant to be out of town as well,” he replied.

The thought of house sitting for Oliver seemed ironic. Last time I’d been to his flat, I’d been welcomed with less enthusiasm than I had for my stepsister. I must have looked like I was going to get up and walk out because Oliver cleared his throat and raised his brows. “If you don’t want to it’s fine. I could figure something else out.”

“No, it’s fine. I can no problem.”

“You’re sure?”

I nodded, as if that would be the deciding factor. Maybe it was more of a confirmation for what I just agreed to. Dogs and I didn’t get on well together. In fact, my family had never even owned one. Since I was little, I had always had cats, hamsters, or something along those lines. My dad always wanted one, but my mum was very against it. To her, it would be like having to raise another kid and teach it the basics, except worse. Watching a dog seemed so foreign. They needed constant care. I would have to take him out on walks and play with him regularly. The idea didn’t sit well in my mind.

“Thanks Rose, really. I’ll ring you tomorrow so you can come round and I can show you my flat,” Oliver said. He was smiling at me cutely, enough that I rolled my eyes and stared down at my hands.

When all was said and done, Oliver gave me a lift back to my house with the plan to see each other the next day. All the lights were out and my cat, Cosmo, waited next to the back door for me to let him in. I stepped into the kitchen, hung my coat on the rack, and kicked off my slushy shoes. My mum must have only turned the heat on upstairs because the kitchen was chilly. Cosmo hopped up onto the counter and I didn’t shoo him off like I usually did. I watched as he walked across the top, sat on the edge, and swished his tail back and forth. Sometimes, I didn’t know why I liked him. He wasn’t particularly cuddly, but I didn’t have to do much to take care of him either.

“Let’s go,” I muttered to the ginger cat and scooped him up. He was heavy, but I lugged him upstairs anyways. I passed through the hall quietly, not wanting to wake my mum, and slipped into my room.

A project that needed to be done for university and canisters of film that needed to be developed were lying on my side of the bed. I pushed them over, not bothering to actually move them from the mattress. I sat on my bed and lay back, my cat sitting on my feet. The room felt smaller than usual. With every day that went by, the room seemed to close in on me.

The next morning, my mum acted like I never left dinner last night. She busied herself in the kitchen and even made me an English muffin with cinnamon sugar. I picked at the muffin and sat on a barstool. I watched her put some dough in the oven and set the timer. “Did you need something else? Juice, milk?”

“Mum,” I stopped her from opening the fridge and pouring me black currant juice that I wouldn’t drink, “I’m sorry about last night.”

She started wiping the counters with a rag. “It’s done. I’ve forgotten.”

I opened my mouth to reply when my phone went off. The screen flashed Oliver’s name. I got off the stool and went into the sitting room. “Hey.”

“Hey, you alright? What time are you free today?”

I looked over my shoulder and into the kitchen, my reply easy. “All day. I’m free all day.”

“Don’t sound to eager,” he teased. Even though I didn’t know Oliver well, I could imagine him smirking. I detected his cockiness over the phone. “I’ll be home around noon, so whenever you want to swing by, you can meet Oskar.”

“Oh, cool,” I muttered. I forgot about the dog, to be honest. “I’ll see you later then.”

We hung up and I looked at the clock. It was ten. There were two hours until I could leave. I pressed a button on my phone and put it back to my ear. Anna was the only number I had on speed dial. Her phone rang a total of nine times before going to voicemail. She was typically up by now, so I hit the button again and waited.

“Hello?” She sounded tired and peeved.

“What’re you up to?” I asked. I could hear her moving around on the other end of the line. Someone was talking and I couldn’t make out a voice. “Anna, are you with someone?”

She cleared her throat and started to babble. “What? No, that’s my tele. Why would you think that right off the gun?”

She was lying. If I knew anything, it was when my best friend was lying. Then again, if I knew anything, I knew when she didn’t want me to know something. When it came to things like this, I generally was the one to lie and make up excuses. Anna was very blunt and in your face. If she slept with someone, she’d usually text me the following morning ready to joke about it. I was the one who would wake up hung over and cover up the fact I may or may not have hooked up the previous night. She would tell me eventually, I reasoned, so I let it go. “Right, sorry. I’ll catch you later then.”

I hung up and stood in the sitting room for a moment longer before I walked back into the kitchen. My boots were stacked in a pile with my mum’s and Naomi’s. I pulled them on, laced them up, and threw on a coat. The slush on the ground had hardened into ice and snow again overnight. The small path leading from the garden to the front lawn was slick and glazed. I walked slowly around the side of the house. My hands were deep in my coat pockets and I began to wish I grabbed a scarf.

“Callum, is it impossible for you to salt the walk in the morning?” I was halfway to the side gate when my neighbor’s voice flooded the air. “You’ve already been out to get the post and to let Alfie into the garden, but you can’t manage to salt the walk? What if I’m to take a spill while you’re gone?”

Callum and Elizabeth Clark had lived in the house next door since they were married in the 70s. Beth still had garden gnomes and streamers around her vegetables to keep away the birds while Callum was more concerned with his dog, Alfie, than his wife. They were both in their 60s and were becoming more and more impatient with each other. I wondered if they heard my mum and Charlie argue as often as I heard Beth yell at Callum. She was still talking while loading bags into the rubbish bin outside as I pulled the string latch on our fence and opened it.

Our rubbish bins were both by the side gates. Beth stood there only a couple feet away from me and tossed a bag into the bin. “Mornin’ Rose,” she said with a smile, “how’s the ice in your garden? I’m afraid I’m going to break a hip this year.”

Of course, Beth said this every year. I think she hoped she would break a hip so she could sit in the heat all winter and not have to let Alfie in and out of the back door while Callum was running errands.

“Needs to be salted,” I replied with a smile.

“Callum, Rose Sheldrake said her walks need to be salted as well. I swear to the lord, if you don’t fix this by noon I won’t feed your mutt.” She said the last part under her breath and I wondered at what age you begin to fight all the time. “Maybe I need boots like yours, Rose.”

I smiled again—the kind of smile you offer when you don’t know what else to do—and kicked my foot out slightly, showcasing my generic boots. “On sale at ASDA.”

“Might have to run by there,” she commented, nodding at my boots. I’d have a good laugh if she turned up in a pair. “Oh, and Rose, could you keep Cosmic out of my garden? I think he is scratching up my flowers.”

“I’ll make sure to keep an eye Cosmo,” I said as a correction and walked towards the porch.

I still had a while before I needed to make my way to Oliver’s. Before I laced up my boots, I decided I would walk to his flat. The car was covered in a thin layer of ice and I didn’t want the chore of wiping it off. I suppose it was odd to pick walking over driving, but I had never been one to drive. I was more of the passenger, along for the ride. I was great with a map. I could navigate anywhere, from the passenger seat. There were too many things to think about while driving. I’d rather let my mind wander.

“Hey, Rose.”

“Morning, Naomi,” I replied quietly and sat on the steps of the porch. My breath wisped in the air for a moment before disappearing with the breeze.

She walked down the steps and turned towards me. Her teeth were chattering lightly and her nose was pink. I bet we looked the same.

“I know we don’t always get on, but I’m sorry about your mum last night,” Naomi said suddenly. She seemed cautious with what she said, like she’d offend me. “I’m actually going to uni right now to change my major, so I’m not looking forward to hearing about that.”

I think she was trying to make me feel better. By changing her major, she was falling into the same category. I stood up, hands in my pockets. “Can’t be too bad,” I replied.

“Do you need a ride anywhere?” she offered. She hoisted her purse further on her shoulder and swiped away her bangs. “Or could you at least help me clear off the car?”

Thirty minutes later, after the car was cleared of ice—because I couldn’t say no—I was back in Oliver’s neighborhood. The ride had been quiet with the exception of the radio, but maybe that was better with Naomi and me. “Who do you know that lives here?” Naomi asked, looking up at the building.

“A friend from class,” I said almost automatically. I was thirty minutes early, but I hoped Oliver would already be there.

I approached the call button at the door and found the name Sykes half way down the list. I wasn’t quite sure what to do after pushing the button, because no voice came out of the intercom like in films. The door simply made a clicking noise and unlocked itself. I took this as a sign to let myself in. Like the last time, I trudged up all the stairs and made it into the hallway. I stood in the cubby-sized room with the two doors for a couple minutes, contemplating if I should knock now or wait a little longer. Once I decided I didn’t care if I was too early, I stepped forward and rapped my knuckles on the door.

It swung open a moment later and a wet-haired, shirtless Oliver stood in the doorway. I took an instinctive step backwards. “Oh,” I muttered awkwardly. It was the first thing out of my mouth and I didn’t know why.

“Oh,” he replied, opening the door wider. “What’s the time?”

“I’m early, sorry,” I replied, shuffling my feet. “I could come back, or—”

He shook his head, wet pieces of his fringe stuck to his forehead. I was trying not to look down past his face, but his tattooed covered chest was attracting my attention. He stepped to the side. “Don’t be dim, come inside.”

I stepped around him and tried to keep my distance. A small, brown dog came bounding around the couch the moment I walked into the flat. I shuffled backwards fast and knocked shoulders with Oliver. The dog skidded to a stop at my feet and began to jump up against my knees. I stared down at him in horror. Did I mention I didn’t like dogs much?

“Rose, meet Oskar,” Oliver said and shut the door. He had a grin on his face while he watched me stare down at his dog. It was getting mud on the hem of my jeans and its tongue lolled out to the side.

“Lovely.” What had I gotten myself into?