Wonderwall

Darcy started avoiding Kennedy the second he dropped her off at John’s. She’d managed to convince him that she just wanted to stay at the house by herself so that he’d go back to playing video games with the boys. She’d answered his texts with one word answers. In short, she was pushing him away.

When John had finally stumbled home, he’d given her this weird look. Kennedy had, of course, told him about her sudden mood change and oddly short texts with hopes that John could explain them. He couldn’t. John was just as bewildered as he found Darcy curled up on his couch sleeping with a bowl of popcorn and some movie playing on his television.

The next morning, she was completely ignoring Kennedy’s texts and she was successful with that for almost three days. However, Kennedy’s concern spilled over and he confided in John. John decided it was time to approach Darcy for some real answers again.

He knocked on her door softly and then strained his ears for her voice. He was starting to think she wasn’t in there when he finally did hear the quiet, “come in.” He pushed the door open slowly and stepped inside his old guest bedroom. Darcy was sitting on the floor, leaning her back on the end of her bed, painting her toenails.

John cleared his throat. “Hey, Darc.”

She lifted her head and chuckled a little. “Hey John.” She smiled before dropping her gaze to her toes again. “Sup?”

John put his hands in his pockets and leaned against the door frame. “Uh, nothing? I was just about to go to the store to pick up some things and wondered if you’d come with me?”

“Sure.” Darcy shrugged. “I mean, if you don’t mind waiting for my toes to dry.” She grinned up at him. “I’d hate to slip my shoes on now and mess them all up after I worked so hard on making them look pretty.”

John chuckled too. “We’ve got time.” He took a few more steps into the room and sat down on the floor in front of her. Darcy giggled as he laid back and stretched out on the ground. They fell quiet for a bit. Darcy closed the nail polish she’d had open and put it to the side. “Darcy?”

“Yeah?” She placed her hands on her knees as she looked down at John.

He bit his bottom lip for a moment but then pushed the question out. “Why aren’t you talking to Kenny anymore?”

She sighed and averted her eyes to the wall. She’d known John would interfere eventually; she’d just been hoping he’d wait a few more days before breeching the subject. “It’s difficult, John.”

“No, it’s not.” He glanced at her and then returned to staring at the ceiling. “You were all over him just the other day and you’ve already kissed him, so it’s pretty obvious you like him but now you won’t even text or talk to him. Just tell me what happened.”

She scrunched her nose up. “It’s not necessarily that something happened.” He couldn’t but smile a little at the fact that she didn’t even try to deny that she liked Kennedy.

“Then what is it?” She didn’t answer at first and that worried him. He was thinking maybe he’d run into another block between the girl he used to be the closest to. Then she maneuvered so she was lying beside him with her hands on her stomach.

“I don’t want a relationship, John.” The words were carefully calculated. She wanted to get her message out without actually telling John what had happened in Kansas. “Kennedy’s sweet and I like talking with him, but I’m not ready. And I don’t want to lead him on. That’s why I stopped talking to him.”

John was perplexed at first. His mind’s stuck on the ‘I’m not ready’ part of her speech. He knows she’s had at least one boyfriend before, so the issue isn’t that she’s never had one. But he’s also pretty sure she hasn’t had one recently so the issue couldn’t be that she’d just gone through a bad breakup. He was completely confused, but then he figured it wasn’t exactly his place to figure things out anyway. It was Darcy’s, and Kennedy’s. “So, you should call him.”

Darcy turned her head and looked at him like he was crazy. “Did you not listen to anything I just said, O’Callaghan?”

John rolled his eyes. “Did it ever cross your mind just to simply tell Kennedy that you don’t want a relationship? I mean, you’ve only known each other for a little over a week so I’m pretty sure he’s not exactly ready to just jump into a relationship either.”

She considered his proposition for a moment and then frowned. “You really think telling him would be the solution?”

He looked over at her and waited until she was looking back at him before he answered. “You really think not answering his texts will be the solution?” She smiled a little.

“Seriously? How did you get to be so wise with all this stuff? Weren’t you the one who was determined to never give a flying fuck when we were fourteen? When did you grow up?” He laughed and then she joined in. “I’m being fucking serious, kid! I want an answer!”

“I don’t have one.” He shoved her shoulder gently. “But you should think about taking my advice since I am all smart and wise and shit now.” She laughed harder.

“All right, smart ass. We’ll see how brilliantly your advice works.” She sat up and looked around the room for her phone. It was sitting on the small table beside her record player. She smiled just thinking about Kennedy standing there and putting one of her old records on like before.

“I’m going to go grab my keys while you talk to lover boy. I’ll meet you in the car in like ten, got it?” He raised his eyebrows as he hopped up from her floor.

“Yeah, yeah.” She waved him off as she crawled to the table and snatched her phone. She was trying to convince herself that she wasn’t nervous as she skimmed through the last few of Kennedy’s texts. He’d sent her three alone this morning and her heart sank with each one.

The phone rang five times in her ear before Kennedy’s voice came through. He sounded groggy and it was easy to tell that he’d been sleeping just moments before. “Hello?”

She giggled lightly as she laid back down on her floor. “Sneaking a nap in your busy day, eh Sleeping Beauty?”

And just like, Kennedy was awake. In fact, he was wide awake. He hadn’t heard her voice in what seemed like weeks. He was honest with himself for two seconds as he realized he had truly missed hearing her voice and that sarcasm. He smiled. “Just a quick short one; I was out late with Byron and didn’t get back in until about two something this morning.”

“Were you two being mischievous boys again? Getting new tattoos?” She giggled again and then rolled her eyes. She didn’t know what it was, but apparently something about Kennedy always made her giggle.

“Very funny.” He noted dryly but he was still smiling. Then his smile faltered slightly. “What, uh, what have you been up to?” He bit his bottom lip before his mouth continued with inquires about why she hadn’t talked to him lately.

Darcy also bit her bottom lip. “Nothing really. Just hanging around John’s place and watching Anastasia on repeat. I think I ate all of his ice cream too.”

“Anastasia? Seriously?” Kennedy chuckled.

“Um, hell yes? It’s only like one of the most amazing movies ever, not to mention one of my favorites.”

“That should not surprise me, I suppose.”

“But it still kind of does?”

“Yes.” He bluntly answered and then chuckled again. “You just don’t seem the princess type.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. It was not the first time she’d heard that statement. “Well, if you would recall, Anastasia is not exactly the perfect princess. She even gives it all up in the end for Dimitri.”

Kennedy laughed. “How could I forget?” She smiled as she listened to his laugh. Both of them fell silent afterward though. The tension quickly rose between them over the phone line.

Darcy swallowed hard and broken the silence first. “Kenny?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think you could stop by, later, and then maybe we could talk?” She stumbled through the awkward words uneasily and then held her breath for his answer.

He didn’t have to think twice about his reply, but his mouth went suddenly dry. Usually when the word ‘talk’ was uttered in such a sentence, bad things followed. Kennedy had learned that a long time ago. But he still trusted her, for some reason he wasn’t sure of just yet. “What time should I come over?”

She sighed with slight relief. “John wants to go to the store, so prolly around five or six?”

“I’ll be there.”

“Great.” She smiled a little.

“And Darc?”

“Hmm?”

Kennedy licked his bottom lip. “It’s nice to hear from you.” Her cheeks warmed instantly, her worries returned and her stomach tied in knots.

“Right back atcha, kid.”

+++

Darcy fidgeted as she leaned over the counter. “Let me just help you put everything away.” She pouted and went to reach for a bag. John snatched it from the counter before her fingertips even touched it. “John!” She whined.

“You are not going to mess up my system by putting shit in here randomly.” He shook his head and took the few cold things from the bag, placing them in the refrigerator. Darcy watched him closely.

“You have no fucking system. Now let me help!” Her yell seemed out of place and shocked both O’Callaghan’s. John slowly set the groceries in his hands back on the counter and eyed her cautiously.

“You okay, Darc?” He raised his eyebrows and watched as she frowned.

“Sorry. I’m just a bit anxious.” She admitted and dropped her eyes to the chipped nail polish on her finger nails. She sighed. “Kennedy’s coming over.”

John smiled. “That’s great, Darc! I’m glad you worked things,” he trailed off as she glanced at him.

“He’s actually coming over so we can ‘talk’, you know, about stuff.” She made a face and then pushed herself away from the counter. “I’m going to the backyard. Send Kennedy back there if he shows up, please.” She mumbled and shuffled her feet toward the back door.

Once she got outside, she quickly rolled her jeans up so that she could stick her feet in the cool water of the pool. She knew John was probably watching her from either the kitchen window or the back doors, but she ignored it. She was trying to get her serene state of mind back.

It didn’t seem like it was that long before she heard the back door slid open again. She held her breath, hoping it was just John, but as the footsteps continued quietly she knew it wasn’t. She kept her eyes on the water until the boy sat down beside her, already barefoot and wearing jeans that had been cut off at his knees. They looked old and so out of place on him.

She couldn’t help but comment. “Where the hell did you pull those things from?” She nodded toward his Bermuda-like shorts and smiled a little.

Kennedy smiled back at her. “It’s laundry day. These were the only clean things I had that fit.” She snorted as she also examined his shirt. It was a light maroon-ish color with white words that said ‘Shimmy! Shuffle! Shake!’ and a few others.

She scrunched her nose up. “You look kind of weird.”

He laughed and leaned back on his hands. “Well, thanks for your honesty.”

“I just meant that I’m not used to seeing you in clothes like those.” Kennedy gave her another weird look and she groaned. “You’re just generally in nicer clothes. That’s what I mean.”

He nodded. “Yeah, these were from when we were on Warped Tour. It was fucking hot so almost all of my jeans became cut off like these.” She giggled.

“What was Warped Tour like?” Her heart felt a little heavy. She’d promised John she would go see them when they came near Kansas, but never really made it.

Kennedy stared down at the water and grinned widely. “Amazing.” He shook his head. “The weather was ridiculous. I mean, one day you’d be completely drenched the whole day and then the next it’d be breezy and comfortable, and the next you’d be melting in the heat. But no matter what the weather was like, there were always kids. Some didn’t know us, but that was what allowed us to just walk around the grounds if we wanted. And then there were the kids that did know us, the ones that sang along to ever word and fist pumped to all the songs. It seemed like the crowds just got bigger with each stop we made. Not to mention all of the bands we got to hang out with on a daily basis and have become good friends with since.” He sighed. “I think I can honestly say it was the best three months of my life. Ever.”

“Wow. That’s a pretty bold statement.” Darcy pushed his shoulder gently with hers and he smiled over at her.

“But it’s completely true.” He smiled over at her and watched as some of her brown hair fell in her face. “For now, anyway.” He bit his bottom lip as the silence fell between them again. Kennedy cleared his throat after a while, figuring it was best to get the tension bubble popped as quickly as possible. “So …” he started and then stopped short. How the hell was he supposed to approach a subject he didn’t even know?

Darcy giggled. “You want to know why I asked you to come over?” She guessed and he smiled sheepishly at her. “Well,” she dropped her eyes to their feet in the pool as her nerves took over again. “It also has something to do with why I haven’t answered any of your texts the past few days.”

Kennedy became nervous as well. He had been hoping it was just his own imagination running away from him and that she hadn’t actually been ignoring him. He patiently waited for her to continue as he looked around the yard.

“I didn’t want to be rude or anything, I just didn’t know how to tell you.” She pushed her mouth to the side. “I don’t want to lead you on.” That seemed to be the most honest sentence she’d made in a while. “I just,” she raised her head and looked at him. It was hard to say the words because she was so afraid of hurting him already, and of losing what fun they did have together. But she had to say them. Darcy took in a deep breath. “I don’t want a relationship.”

Kennedy almost didn’t believe he’d heard her correctly. He paused before slowly repeating her. “You don’t want a relationship?”

Darcy sighed. “I like hanging out with you and talking to you, but no. I’m not looking for any kind of commitment at the moment. I just want to have a good time here in Arizona.” She bit her bottom lip and then added, “I’m sorry,” as an afterthought.

He nodded and glanced at her. “That’s why you didn’t want to talk to me at all?”

“I really didn’t want to lead you on so I figured staying away from you would help that. Doesn’t really seem like a great idea now, though.”

He chuckled. “It made me nervous as hell.”

“I’m sorry.” She said again and started to frown. Kennedy shook his head.

“Don’t be. I understand where you’re coming from and I think I have a solution for this issue.” He sat up and extended his hand toward her, like he wanted to shake her hand.

Darcy raised her eyebrows. “You do?” She warily placed her hand in his.

“It’s simple really.” He shrugged as he gripped her hand. “Let’s just be friends.” She smiled at how leisurely his attitude was. Darcy was sure friends didn’t hold hands or go on dates or, most definitely they did not, kiss. But his suggestion sounded so flawless in his voice.

“Just friends.” She nodded and squeezed his hand. “I think I can handle a friendship.”

Kennedy leaned forward and smirked a little. “A unique friendship.” He corrected and then winked before taking his hand away from her.

“Unique, indeed.” She agreed and sighed contently this time as she looked over the water. Her smirk was a little more devilish than his. “Want to go swimming?”

Kennedy snorted. “Why not?”

“Good. This heat is getting to be a little too much. I’m going to go put my new swimsuit on and I’ll be back in a minute. I’m sure you can borrow one of John’s swimming trunks or something if you like.” She stood up and he followed, going to open the door for her.

“I’m sure he’s still got an old pair of mine around here somewhere too.” She giggled before skipping ahead of him and to her room. Kennedy watched her in a sort of daze. He liked her. He liked her and he knew he’d probably just thrown his chances of ever actually being something with her down the drain with his ‘just friends’ pact. Fucking perfect move, Kenny.