Running Wild in the Night
No Say in Anything
Brian's POV
"So, when's Nikki coming home from the hospital," Val asked as Jimmy came into homeroom.
He took his usual seat between me and Matt and looked at the clock. "Well, she should be home now."
"She's home already, since when," asked Zacky.
"Since about two hours ago. My parents went to get her around noon."
"So why did she snap like that," Matt asked, bringing the question of the moment.
"Well, apparently, when she was high off of heroin, Nikki often started believing that there were people outside of her house, trying to get her. When I was reading a paper from one of her previous psychatrists, Nikki had done this before. That time, it was early morning and she had all the radios on full blast in her house. Of course, some talk show comes on and it triggered in her head that someone was in her house. I guess it happened again and the radio triggered that thought," Jimmy explained.
"The radio?"
"Yeah, the radio was the problem."
I just nodded as everyone else began talking about how it set Nikki off, not really paying attention. I felt bad for her. Something as trivial as a radio could set her off like that was scary. It shows how screwed up Nikki had become. Talking with her definately opened my eyes to see how much she needed help and I knew damn well that she didn't want it, not matter how much she needed it.
I mean, this poor girl has grown up her whole life without a single friend. Nikki refers to herself as a fucking fuck-up. The sad thing is she doesn't know how much she's killing everyone that cares about her as well as herself. She was shocked to hear that Jimmy cares about her and he's her cousin. I guess being someone as cruel as her father made Nikki believe she had no one.
"Hey, Jimmy how old is Nikki, exactly," Val asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"She's sixteen, seventeen in April."
"That's like two months away," I said.
"Yup, she's a year younger than me but she's a hell of a lot smarter than me," Jimmy said, making all of us laugh.
"Yeah, she's one smart cookie," Zacky said.
After school, Jimmy and I headed to his house. Partly because I wanted to see Nikki and mainly because we had an English project to do. I liked the former rather than the latter. "Nikki, you here," Jimmy called, opening the door.
No response came but we found her sitting in the kitchen staring at an unfinished painting. She didn't even give us any recognition as we came in, she was just consumed with that painting. "Nikki? Coley bear? Nicole Storm McCade," Jimmy pratically yelled, trying to get her attention.
"What," she asked, softly.
"We thought you were dead or something, Coley. What are you doing with that painting?"
"Seeing if I can see what I want it to look like when it's done," she answered, still focusing on that painting.
I looked at her then at the unfinished painting. So far it was the ocean and the beach. I remembered Jimmy telling me about this painting. It was the last one she ever did and it seemed to be destined to remain unfinished. "What do you want it to look like when it's done," I asked.
Her dark green eyes shifted towards me, blinked, and was back at staring at the canvas. "A sunset, over the ocean......that's what I wanted it to be before but now, I see nothing."
Nikki's POV
Why can't I see anything anymore. It looks like I just spilled paint on a canvas, not some god forsaken ocean as everyone else sees. I don't see that image I wanted it to be, I lost that talent long ago. I lost it when I started chasing the dragon.
You know, part of me still misses that dragon. Shooting up and having the ability to escape reality. I miss that. I didn't have to deal with anyone. Not my father, not my problems, and not reality. I could escape without actually dying.
Now, even though its been almost a year of being sober, I still have those cravings. Each time I want that feeling of heroin in my veins, it feels like shock therapy to my gut. I want it so much but I can't. I'm clean and I'm supposed to be clean.
Why didn't I die when I had the chance?
"Nicole Storm McCade!"
That snapped me out of my thoughts, hearing my full name. Yes, my middle name is Storm. My mom gave birth to me during a storm and thought it would be interesting to give me that middle name. I never understood why.
"What," I said, looking at Jimmy and Brian.
"We have band practice tonight at Brian's place, you're coming."
"I have no say in this?"
"No, Nikki, you don't," Brian said, opening a soda can.
"Whatever."
"So, when's Nikki coming home from the hospital," Val asked as Jimmy came into homeroom.
He took his usual seat between me and Matt and looked at the clock. "Well, she should be home now."
"She's home already, since when," asked Zacky.
"Since about two hours ago. My parents went to get her around noon."
"So why did she snap like that," Matt asked, bringing the question of the moment.
"Well, apparently, when she was high off of heroin, Nikki often started believing that there were people outside of her house, trying to get her. When I was reading a paper from one of her previous psychatrists, Nikki had done this before. That time, it was early morning and she had all the radios on full blast in her house. Of course, some talk show comes on and it triggered in her head that someone was in her house. I guess it happened again and the radio triggered that thought," Jimmy explained.
"The radio?"
"Yeah, the radio was the problem."
I just nodded as everyone else began talking about how it set Nikki off, not really paying attention. I felt bad for her. Something as trivial as a radio could set her off like that was scary. It shows how screwed up Nikki had become. Talking with her definately opened my eyes to see how much she needed help and I knew damn well that she didn't want it, not matter how much she needed it.
I mean, this poor girl has grown up her whole life without a single friend. Nikki refers to herself as a fucking fuck-up. The sad thing is she doesn't know how much she's killing everyone that cares about her as well as herself. She was shocked to hear that Jimmy cares about her and he's her cousin. I guess being someone as cruel as her father made Nikki believe she had no one.
"Hey, Jimmy how old is Nikki, exactly," Val asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"She's sixteen, seventeen in April."
"That's like two months away," I said.
"Yup, she's a year younger than me but she's a hell of a lot smarter than me," Jimmy said, making all of us laugh.
"Yeah, she's one smart cookie," Zacky said.
After school, Jimmy and I headed to his house. Partly because I wanted to see Nikki and mainly because we had an English project to do. I liked the former rather than the latter. "Nikki, you here," Jimmy called, opening the door.
No response came but we found her sitting in the kitchen staring at an unfinished painting. She didn't even give us any recognition as we came in, she was just consumed with that painting. "Nikki? Coley bear? Nicole Storm McCade," Jimmy pratically yelled, trying to get her attention.
"What," she asked, softly.
"We thought you were dead or something, Coley. What are you doing with that painting?"
"Seeing if I can see what I want it to look like when it's done," she answered, still focusing on that painting.
I looked at her then at the unfinished painting. So far it was the ocean and the beach. I remembered Jimmy telling me about this painting. It was the last one she ever did and it seemed to be destined to remain unfinished. "What do you want it to look like when it's done," I asked.
Her dark green eyes shifted towards me, blinked, and was back at staring at the canvas. "A sunset, over the ocean......that's what I wanted it to be before but now, I see nothing."
Nikki's POV
Why can't I see anything anymore. It looks like I just spilled paint on a canvas, not some god forsaken ocean as everyone else sees. I don't see that image I wanted it to be, I lost that talent long ago. I lost it when I started chasing the dragon.
You know, part of me still misses that dragon. Shooting up and having the ability to escape reality. I miss that. I didn't have to deal with anyone. Not my father, not my problems, and not reality. I could escape without actually dying.
Now, even though its been almost a year of being sober, I still have those cravings. Each time I want that feeling of heroin in my veins, it feels like shock therapy to my gut. I want it so much but I can't. I'm clean and I'm supposed to be clean.
Why didn't I die when I had the chance?
"Nicole Storm McCade!"
That snapped me out of my thoughts, hearing my full name. Yes, my middle name is Storm. My mom gave birth to me during a storm and thought it would be interesting to give me that middle name. I never understood why.
"What," I said, looking at Jimmy and Brian.
"We have band practice tonight at Brian's place, you're coming."
"I have no say in this?"
"No, Nikki, you don't," Brian said, opening a soda can.
"Whatever."