That's Just The Price I Pay

I never really put myself out there for people. It was just how I was-shy, quiet, and-I'd like to think-thoughtful. That also meant that I never did much about girls if I liked them. I could like one for the longest time, but would never bother approaching her in any way, just because I didn't know how to. At some points, I would promise myself that on the next girl, I would try. I'd talk to her, and see if it went anywhere; I wouldn't let myself let her get away. But that never happened.

There was one girl, however, who caught my attention one day. I'm not sure why, but I saw her around, and later on told myself that no matter what, I would talk to her, and try. I'd see her in school every once in a while on my way to class, but, as usual, I never paid too much attention to her. My mind was focused on more important things, such as music and whether or not I did the homework that was due that day. Girls weren't high on my list of priorities, but then again I had a small amount of girls that I had liked through life so far-and I never approached a single one. I couldn't stay quiet forever, or I'd miss every opportunity, and I had already missed a few.

But there was one time where I had the perfect opportunity. It was a party in the start of junior year, and I figured I might as well go; parties were pretty fun. I saw her standing by herself, drinking God only knows what, and looking around. Not really lost or uncomfortable, but I'd say bored. Her auburn hair was half back, with her bangs falling into eyes that I figured were a hazel color. I had never been that close to her before, but I noticed while passing her in the halls every once in a while. She was tall, but a good height for a girl (at least that's what I thought). The same went for her weight. She looked fit as far as I know, and I could've sworn she was also on the track team, and that was another plus about her.

I smiled to myself, and started to walk across the room to start up casual conversation with her. I was a bit nervous because it was so direct, but I told myself it'd be fine. "Alright, I'll see if things go anywhere with her." But my hopes were quickly dashed when I saw my friend, and fellow band mate, Alex, suddenly appear at her side. I slowed down, and my smile started to fade as well. I stopped a little bit away, close enough to listen in, but hidden well enough as to where he wouldn't notice me.

"Hey, I'm Alex. You look pretty bored. Why's that?"

"Oh, hey. I'm Lillian, but all of my friends call me Lily. And I'm just waiting for my ride to get here. My friends are around, but I told them I want to leave because…well, I'm actually pretty tired." I looked over quickly, and saw her smile at him.

"I've never really seen you around. I mean, I have, but not too often. Why's that? I know you're not new."

"I'm not so big on the party scene." I laughed to myself at that; Alex was all about this scene sometimes. He was just a fun guy, a good partier, but that didn't mean he was a bad guy. He was a great friend and everything, but he definitely got around. A part of me thought that maybe he wouldn't be able to get her after all. She could be different than all of the other girls he's tried to go after before. Maybe he wasn't her type. "Then again, what makes me her type?" I thought to myself.

Instead of arguing with myself, I went a bit closer, and angled myself so I could see them better. Spying wasn't something I did, ever, but in this case I figured it couldn't hurt.
Alex was laughing and rubbing the back of his neck, trying to play it cool, "Yeah, but that's a good thing. Can't live by it. You have to have limits. So you said you were waiting for your ride, do you wanna hang out outside maybe?"

She scrunched up her face, "Well, Alex, aren't we already hanging out? I'm fine here." Wow, she really seemed to be something different. I'm surprised she wasn't already going along with everything he said. I was starting to like her even more.

"Haha yeah…" Was Alex getting nervous?

"Mhmm." She was looking around again.

"But, well are you going to the party next weekend too? We could definitely hang out and stuff there. I could always pick you up and give you a ride there and back."

"Well that wouldn't sound so bad, but I have a boyfriend who might not be so hot on that idea."

Sighing, I walked away with a heavy heart, knowing that even though she turned down Alex, I had zero chance with her. She had a boyfriend, and I wasn't going to get involved, or try to get involved, with someone like that. Maybe we could be friends, like I always was with girls. I would accept that at the least. Maybe it would just take a lot of waiting. For some reason, I felt that she would be worth the wait.