First You Fall

Zacky’s P.O.V.

Most of the time I find Toni’s feistiness to be very sexy. I love it when she’s feeling stubborn and gives me attitude. Most people don’t have the balls to say half the things she says to me. Usually her cheekiness is a huge fucking turn on. This is not one of those times. Not even close. This stubbornness is pissing me the fuck off. It’s been four days since Toni stormed out of the house and stormed back in hours later. In those four days she hasn’t so much as whispered a fucking word to me. Four fucking days. I knew she’d try to put up a fight when I wouldn’t fill her in on everything but I had no idea that she would take it this far. Than again, I also wasn’t expecting her to want to join the mother fucking mafia. To say she caught me off guard would be really understating it.

“So where do you want to go first?” I heard Toni say as she left the guest room with Val in tow. The first night Toni had grabbed her things and moved down the hall to the guest room I almost laughed. I thought there was no way in hell she would last that long away from me. I’ve never been so fucking wrong in my life. At the rate things were going, I might actually crack before she does.

But I can’t. I can’t give her what she wants. Right now she might think it’s what she wants, but this isn’t a lifestyle Toni could lead.

I leaned against the wall as Toni brushed right pass me and continued down the hall. Val had paused beside me and shot me a look. I simply raised one eyebrow and stood up straight.

“How long are you two going to keep this up?” She said, looking down the hall at where Toni was waiting and then looking back at me.

“For as long as she can hold up.” I smirked down the hall at Toni.

“Val, this will last until Zacky stops being an over-protective, over-bearing, domineering, selfish, arrogant, controlling asshole!” Toni was speaking to Val but looking angrily at me.

Toni was still seething as I made my way slowly down the hall towards her. The closer I got to her, the more she backed up. I let out a low laugh when Toni’s back hit the wall. Closing the gap between us, I put a hand on each side of her, trapping her between the wall and my body. The vicious glare never left her face as I leaned in closer.

“You and I both know that that will never happen.” I whispered in her ear before letting my mouth trail down to the sweet spot on her neck.

Seconds later she had thrown me off and the fierce glare was back in place.

“Come on Val.” Toni said, turning and heading down the stairs without a backward glance.

Moments later I heard the door slam shut. I pulled a cigarette from my pocket as I walked down the stairs and into the lounge. As usual the guys were around drinking beer, playing pool and watching T.V.

“Matt, how do you do it?” I lit my cigarette and threw myself down on the couch.

“Do what?” Matt asked, shooting me a confused look.

“Let Val play with guns? Let her fight? How do you let the woman you love risk her fucking life to do what we do? How do you let her live the life that we live? How do you stand by and watch it happen?” I watched the smoke slip past my lips before turning to look at Matt.

Matt looked as if he was thinking about a good answer. The guys all knew how on edge mine and Toni’s relationship has been but there wasn’t much they could do to help and for the most part they were trying to avoid picking sides.

“I’m not gonna lie and say it’s easy.” Matt finally started to respond. “But I know Val and I know the shit she’s capable of. I’m always going to be protective of her but I also know that she can protect herself.”

I stared at Matt, waiting for him to continue.

“Zacky, you’ve seen what Toni can do. I saw her practicing shooting once with Val and in case you didn’t know, your girl has deadly precision with a pistol. I’m not saying you should just throw her out their on the field but you should definitely give her a chance. The girls aren’t nearly as fragile as we sometimes think they are.”

I paused and thought about what Matt had said. He made a good point but that didn’t mean I’d changed my mind. After all, Val had come into Matt’s life already waist deep in bad business. Toni, on the other hand, used to have a perfectly normal life. I can’t let her become what the rest of us have been for years. I can’t let her take part in the things we do, even if Matt’s right and she is capable.

Toni’s P.O.V.

“Really, when are you going to give this shit up?” Val asked as we drove back to Zacky’s place after hanging out for a while.

“Val.” I sighed, already tired of having this conversation. “This is what I want. I can’t take being on the sidelines anymore.”

“So you think if you just keep pushing Zacky you’ll get your way? Toni, come on. He’s only trying to protect you. How do you even know this is what you want?”

“Well, how did you know that this is what you wanted?” I asked. Val had never told me how she ended up in this business.

“That’s different.” She replied.

“Well then, how would you feel if Matt all of a sudden demanded that you stopped? If he was so desperate to protect you that he neglected everything that you wanted.”

“That’s different too.”

“Why? Why is it so different?” I turned my head away from the road to shoot a quick glance at Val.

“The two of you need to work this shit out. And maybe you should be a bit more understanding about where Zacky’s coming from. He really is just trying to protect you.” Val avoided answering my question.

The rest of the car ride was silent. We reached Zacky’s place and I headed straight past the lounge and to the guest room. I had just thrown myself down on the bed when the door opened and Zacky walked in. Before he could start talking, I got up and walked past him to the bathroom. I tried to slam the door but Zacky caught it with his hand and shoved it open.

“What do you want?” I spat, still trying to push the bathroom door closed.

“Still being a bitch?” Zacky asked with a smirk.

I ignored him and gave up on trying to close the door. Instead, I tried to push my way past him.

“Why the fuck do you always make things so difficult?” Zacky asked, easily lifting me up and walking into the bathroom with me. He kicked the door shut with his foot and dropped me onto the counter.

“I just wanted to talk.” Zacky said, shoving my legs open so he could stand between them.

“You might not have noticed, but I haven’t got shit to say to you.” I crossed my arms over my chest, knowing that there was no way for me to get out of the position Zacky had locked me in.

“Good because I’m not asking you to say anything.” Zacky kept his smirk in place as I narrowed my eyes and scowled.

“Listen Toni, I know how badly you want this but I don’t fucking know why. The killing, the stealing, and all the other shit. I just don’t see why you would want any part of it.” Zacky said, the smirk finally leaving his face.

“Well why do you do it?” I asked him basically the same question I had asked Val.

“I thought you had nothing to say. Be quiet and let me finish.” Zacky shot me a look and I glared back but kept my mouth closed.

“Toni if anything were ever to happen to you, I wouldn’t have a fucking clue what to do with myself. You’ve lodged yourself so deep into my life that I can’t imagine not having you around.”

I let out a low sigh, setting myself up to be shot down again. I understood why Zacky was so protective of me but it could be so frustrating.

“Toni I can’t lose you.” Zacky continued talking, burying his face in my neck. “Which is why you have to promise me that you’ll at least try to stay safe and not do anything rash or stupid.”

I was opening my mouth to argue again when Zacky’s words finally sunk in.

“Wait. Are you saying you’re going to let me-”

“Yes, but there are rules and conditions.” Zacky cut me off. “For one, you never do any job alone. Val’s going to be your partner. And even then I might send extra guys with you two. And don’t -”

This time I cut Zacky off, pressing his lips to mine. The kiss quickly turned heated and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I moaned into Zacky’s mouth as he pulled me closer to him. My fingers tangled in and tugged at his hair while Zacky’s hands slid under my shirt. I broke the kiss and started tugging at his belt. My hands forgot all about the belt when Zacky’s lips and tongue started trailing around my neck. I threw my head back and groaned as he went to work on my neck.

“Zacky” I managed to get out between gasps. “We’re still in the bathroom.”

“I don’t care” Was his response. “Four fucking days. I want you right now.”

Zacky’s words made me lose all reason and suddenly I was tugging at his belt again, desperate to get his pants down.

“Finally!” I heard Jimmy shout from outside the bathroom door.

“Yeah Zacky!” Another voice, probably Johnny, shouted.

Zacky stopped his movements and turned to glare at the closed door. I couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“What’s so funny?” Zacky asked, turning back to me.

“Nothing.” I tried in vain to contain my grin.

“You do realize you’re laughing at your boss right.”

“So now you’re my boss?” I murmured, pulling Zacky close again and rubbing his crotch through his pants.

“Yes, I am. So you’d better behave.” Zacky whispered into my ear.

Now this was a perk that I had not expected. Even if he still was overly protective, I could get used to Zacky being the boss of me.