First You Fall

Toni's P.O.V.

Zacky's doing it again, the whole not telling me things. Only this time it's ten times as fucking annoying. For the past week it's been painfully obvious that some thing's going on. All the guys seemed especially busy and especially pissed off. I hadn't been able to hold a conversation with them longer than five minutes. Even Johnny was apparently too busy to find time to explain anything to me. And Zacky. Zacky's anger seemed to be tenfold the anger of the other guys. Killings seemed to be coming in an abundance. The guys would drag in random guys at all hours and stay locked up in Zacky's office for hours on end. Most of the guys didn't leave in the same condition they had come in. A few of them left in body bags. But I''m guessing these were the things that Zacky didn't want me to notice. He would send me off to do odd meaningless jobs, jobs that he would usually give to one of his lackeys. I'd get back only to find everyone in a disarray and no one willing to tell me what was going on. That being said, I had long since joined the “pissed off” party. If Zacky was going to keep shutting me out of everything then I had every right to be pissed the fuck off about it.

“Just let it go. It's not really anything worth knowing.” Val said, still trying to convince me.

“If it's not worth knowing than why is it such a huge fucking secret?” I asked, hitting the pillow beneath me.

We were sitting in mine and Zacky's room which recently seemed to only be occupied by me. I never thought I'd see the time where Zacky and I weren't going at like rabbits every night. I was fucking wrong. Or well not fucking. I wasn't doing any of that.

“It's not a 'huge fucking secret'. You're just making a huge deal out of nothing.”

“Don't try to pull the 'nothing' bullshit with me. If it was nothing than Zacky wouldn't be spending all his nights out doing God fucking knows what. If it was nothing than all the guys wouldn't be so goddamn tense all the time. If it was nothing I wouldn't hear constant beatings when I walk by Zacky's door. If it was nothing than someone, anyone, would fucking tell me already!” I shouted, waving my arms around in frustration.

“Stop over-reacting. Why don't we go out to lunch or something. Take your mind off of it already.” Val stood up from the bed we'd been sitting on for almost an hour now.

“I want to go to lunch with Zacky. We've barely seen each other in the past week.”

“He's a little busy right now. Besides you love my company.” Val tried to play it off with a shrug but I'd picked up this useful knack for knowing when someone was hiding something or just all around bullshitting.

“Busy with what? Let me guess 'nothing'?”

“Just fucking stop it already, Toni. I've worked with these guys for years and I hardly know every bit of what's going on right now. Let it fucking go. If they thought you needed to know than you would know.”

“Oh so that's what this is then? I haven't been around as long so I'm what, expendable? Useless? Meaningless? I'm just another lackey now?” I asked, standing up from the bed and pulling on my shoes.

“For fuck's sake you're taking this way further than it needs to go.” Val ran a hand through her hair, a sure sign that she was getting pissed off. That and the fact that Val usually rarely cursed (compared to the rest of us) but was now swearing in every sentence was only more proof that everyone was on edge about something.

“Fine. Whatever.” I sighed. I grabbed my keys and wallet, stuffing both in my pockets. The last thing I needed to be doing right now was getting into a fight with Val.

“Are we finally going to lunch now?” She asked, the angry undertone still in her voice.

“No. I'm just going to drive around and try to get my head together. I'll see you later.” I said indifferently before brushing past her and out the door.

I knew it wasn't Val's fault but I also knew that if I stayed around any longer we would end up tearing each other's hair out. I couldn't be around any of the guys right now. If there was something that no one wanted to tell me than it was probably best that I not be near any of them for a while. I refused to just ignore the tension and walk on eggshells. If they didn't want me asking questions then their only other option was to deal with me not being around for a while.

When I left the house I wasn't entirely sure of where I was going but once I got into the car I decided to drive to the nearest Starbucks. At least I'd be able to sit there in silence, reading magazines. Maybe with enough work, I'd be able to convince myself that coffee was actually capable of fixing my problems.

A short while later I had my coffee, my magazine and I was warming up for a good session of fucking with my own head. I hated to admit ti to myself but Val was probably right and I had to stop thinking about this. Whatever the fuck “this” was.

“Excuse me?” A deep voice spoke from somewhere in front of me.

I looked up to see a tall, tan man with an unfortunate buzz cut. He looked mildly familiar but a lot of faces blended into each other in this city and I could just be mistaken.

“I thought I recognized you.” The man said with a big grin, suddenly dropping into the chair across from me.

Or maybe I wasn't mistaken. Only question was, how the hell did I know this guy. He must have noticed my slight confusion because he quickly started to explain.

“We sort of met earlier this week. You were on your way to your car carrying a few cases of beer. I knocked into you and you dropped an entire six pack that busted. I'm guessing this isn't ringing any bells.” The guy finished with a short, awkward laugh.

I did in fact remember having that six pack burst all over my lower half. The guy had offered to pay for it but I just waved it off, in a rush to get back. He had walked me to my car, still very apologetic. And now here he was, interrupting my silence.

“I actually do remember. Is there something you wanted?” I asked. It might have come across as being a little rude but I hadn't been the one to invite myself over to someone else's table. Besides, after Zacky, random guys hitting on me has lost it's novelty.

“I wanted to buy you a cup of coffee. You know, as payment for the spilled beer and whatnot.”

“Not necessary.” I said, gesturing to the coffee I was already cradling in my hand.

“Oh.” He responded with another awkward laugh.

I was starting to feel a little bad for the guy. Why was he getting so nervous and flustered over some spilled beer?

“Do you have a name?” I asked, in an attempt to be nice. A little meaningless chatter and then maybe he would wander off or I could claim to be late for something and just leave.

“Right. Tyler.” He smiled that awkward smile again. “What's your's?”

“Toni.” I replied wishing he would quietly leave now.

I looked back down at my magazine hoping he would get the hint. I was cutting the guy a break by not just asking him to get the fuck up and leave. Something about the whole dorky persona he had going on kept me from being an outright bitch.

“So are you sure you don't want me to buy you another cup of coffee. Or another case of beer. Or maybe dinner.”

It was taking everything I had to not shut him down in the same manner I would shut down other guys. He was trying really hard here.

“No, thanks. Listen, I'm really sorry but I'd love to be alone right now. So if you don't mind.”

“Oh, I'm so sorry.” He stood up even more flustered than he had been before. In his haste to get up, he dropped a few slips of papers that I hadn't even noticed he was holding.

I leaned down and picked the papers up from the floor, handing them to him.

“Thanks.” He said, taking the papers before spinning on his heels and leaving.

With him out of the way I could go back to training my mind not to think about what was going on back at Zacky's place.

Tyler's P.O.V.

I crossed the street from the Starbucks and climbed into a waiting, simple black car. I opened the passenger door and climbed in quickly, tossing my papers in the back seat.

“What makes you so sure that this is even going to work?” I turn to the side and ask the short, stout man in the driver's seat.

“I know what I'm doing. You just have to do what you're told,” was his only response.

I glanced back into the Starbucks as he put the car in drive. Toni sat there reading her newspaper as if nothing unusual had just happened.

Zacky's P.O.V.

I've dealt with a lot of shit before but I've never had to deal with a leak. I prided myself on picking people who were loyal to work for me. And if that failed I made fucking sure that every single one of them feared me to goddamn much to even think about talking to the cops. That being said, I couldn't fucking figure out how we got to this point. We'd questioned various people that we thought could be the leak but none of them cracked. Whoever was leaking the information was doing a damn good job of keeping it under wraps.

I was getting ready to leave my office when my cell rang. I pulled it from my pocket and saw that it was Brian calling. I'd sent him, Jimmy and Matt to pick something up so I assumed he was calling to let me know that he'd gotten it. I flipped the phone open but before I got the chance to even speak, Brian was shouting in my ear. The combination of him speaking so fast and the sound of tires screeching in the background made it hard for me to understand what he was saying.

“Brian, calm the fuck down, I can't understand a word you're fucking saying right now.” I said.

“They knew. They fucking knew! We got there and the place was crawling with cops. Whoever the fucking leak was got to them already and let them know wed fucking be here.” Brian kept shouting but I could finally understand him.

“Fuck!” I shouted, kicking my desk and punching the wall. “What the fuck is going on?!”

“Zack man, fuck. Fucking shit.” I heard the sound of the car speeding up even more. The squeal of the tires let me know that they were pushing the car to it's limits. There were groans in the background mixed with the sounds of Matt and Brian swearing continuously.

“Brian, what the fuck is going on?” I repeated the question.

“They fucking shot him! They fucking shot Jimmy!”