Seasons

As summer ends, and the days get shorter and shorter and the beginning of school is right around the corner, it gets harder and harder to say goodbye. Summer flings – they’re great at first. But once you get through June and most of July, you realize that August means the end – means going back to reality.

In a small beach town in Maryland, it’s the last week of August. The air is cool – something that’s so rare for this time of the year. Usually, the weather is brutal – ninety degree days, high humidity percentage. But lately, the weather has been kind. Low seventies, nearly no humidity. It’s been a nice break from the heat, but it’s also a sharp reminder that fall is sneaking up on them.

As the sun begins to go down, the sky turning a pretty shade of pink mixed with orange, life sort of seems to slow down. The beach is emptying, parents yelling at their children to get out of the water. The highways begin to get backed-up with all the weekend beach travelers heading home. But there are still two boys sitting on the beach, too close to simply be friends.

“What happens when you go to school next week, and I’m stuck here?”

The smaller, shorter boy shrinks in on himself, knowing that his question just made him extremely vulnerable. He wraps his arms around his knees and looks at his boyfriend carefully, trying to figure out what the answer will be before he even speaks.

“I’ve really thought about it, actually,” the older of the two responds as he closes his notebook, “And I mean…there’s really only one option, I guess.”

“Oh…” Here it comes – the inevitable breakup.

“I mean, my suitcase is small, but I think you can fit, Alex.”

The younger boy, Alex, lets out the breath he’d been holding and his eyes light up, “I thought you were going to break up with me, Jack.” He laughs a bit, just to lighten the whole situation, “But I’m pretty sure my mom would wonder where the hell I disappeared to if I hid away in your suitcase.”

“Probably,” Jack muses, “I mean, I guess it’s slightly impractical.” He picks up his dark blue backpack from the edge of his towel and shoves his notebook inside to keep it from getting covered in sand.

“But seriously – are we gonna do the whole…long distance thing?”

Jack nods, “I think it’s worth a shot, don’t you?” He smiles – that million dollar smile that everybody melts at – and nudges the brunette with his elbow, “Just because we started out as a summer thing doesn’t mean I don’t wanna keep this up into the school year.”

Alex nods, trying to look cool on the outside. But inside, he’s ecstatic. When he and Jack started this romance up just a few short months ago, he definitely wasn’t expecting it to go any further than August. After all, Jack is nearly twenty, and he’s just seventeen, almost eighteen. It would make sense for Jack to want to find someone closer to his age – and closer to his school. Massachusetts is a long way from Maryland.

But two and a half months is a pretty decent amount of time to get to know a person – and Alex feels that he knows enough about Jack to decide that he’s definitely falling for him. And he can see himself with Jack for a long time, if not forever.

He just…he really likes the way that Jack calls him ‘baby’, especially when they’re around other people. He likes how he holds his hand every chance he gets. He likes that he doesn’t pressure Alex for sex, and understands that he’s just not ready yet. He likes…he likes a lot of things, and he wishes he could write them all down, but there wouldn’t be enough time for that, really.

When Alex doesn’t verbally respond, Jack looks back over at him and puts his hand on his knee, “Don’t worry so much, okay? If we’re supposed to be together, then we will be. We just gotta trust in that, you know?”

“You’re right, I know.” Alex sighs and scoots himself closer to the older boy, “I just…I like you a lot. I’m nervous about being away from you for so long.”

Jack lets out a laugh that makes Alex smile – his laughter tends to do that sometimes. “It’s only like, three and a half months. Then I’ll be home for winter break.”

“That pretty much adds up to four months, Jack,” Alex points out, but he wraps his arms around Jack’s waist and rests his head on his shoulder. He sighs contently as he watches the sun go down and the last few people remaining on the beach begin packing their things up.

“Well I’m down for the ride if you are.”

- - -

It’s mid-October, now. Massachusetts is busy – college students everywhere, Fenway Park crowded with baseball fans attending the latest World Series game. The bars are, of course, over-packed, and the best place to be is probably just walking the streets or finding a dorm room party. October means that you’ve settled into the school year – summer memories are no longer at the front of the mind.

This particular Friday finds a large group of people – all college sophomores – stumbling around on the sidewalk outside of the large, nation-wide known baseball field. Right in the middle is Jack Barakat.

“This is probably not a great idea,” the dark haired boy says to anyone who will listen. He knows that the streets are practically littered with cops, all trying to catch a fight before it even breaks out. If someone of authority sees this group of people, clearly drunk, they’re going to ask for I.D. And most of them – Jack included – do not have one.

A short, thin blond giggles and wraps her arms around his waist as they walk, “Chill out, Jacky. We’ll be fine.” She drags out her words, practically advertising how intoxicated she is at the moment.

Jack can’t help but smile. She’s been clinging to him all night – and he’s pretty sure he’s going to end up getting lucky. It’s been a while since he’s gotten laid. Especially since Alex won’t – shit. Alex.

The twenty year olds thoughts immediately travel to the younger boy all the way back in Maryland. He’s probably lying in his bed, staring at his phone, waiting for it to light up with an incoming call or text. Jack frowns. He should probably call Alex now, before he gets too wasted.

But as he reaches for his phone, the group of people he’s with stops outside of small club – one that they can all get into, because it’s 18+. All thoughts of Alex are pushed aside.
*
With the short, thin blonde curled up beside him in his bed in his dorm room, Jack stares at the ceiling, frowning. This isn’t how he thought his sophomore year was going to be. He promised Alex they’d do the long-distance thing – he really thought it was going to work. But Jack’s a guy – a bisexual guy. This situation is sort of inevitable…isn’t it?

He knows it’s a terrible excuse, but it makes him feel better for right now. He knows in the morning, he’s going to return one of the many missed calls from Alex and he’s going to feel guilty until he tells the younger boy what happened – again. Alex is going to cry, and ask why and Jack is just going to stay silent until Alex calms down. Then, they’ll be fine. It’s been that way for the past month. This time, it should be no different.

- - -

Winter break, in college terms, means nearly an entire month with absolutely no worries about school. Your classes are over, your tests are done with, and you’re going back home – to see family, friends…and, if applicable, loved ones. It’s December 21st, and there’s a light layer of snow on the ground as Jack steps out of the train station. He looks for the sleek black car that was described in detail by an excited Alex only a few nights ago. He spots it quickly, and walks towards it with his two bags.

His heart feels like it’s going to jump out of his chest as he opens the back door to put his bags in. But, then he catches sight of the adorable, brunette boy smiling at him from the front seat for the first time in a little over three months, and he feels alright – they’re alright. For now, at least.

*

“How did all of your exams go?”

Jack shrugs as he leans back on Alex’s bed. “Fine I guess… I’ll have to check if my grades are up tomorrow. Hopefully I got close to a 4.0.”

“I’m sure you did.” Alex swiftly kicks his shoes off before sliding up beside Jack, curling into him and breathing deeply, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” the older boy mutters, his lips pressing into Alex’s hair, “A lot.” He’s really not lying – he did miss Alex. When he was sober, at least.

“I don’t want you to go back…”

They both know what that really means. Alex doesn’t want him to go back to Massachusetts. He doesn’t want him to go back to the typical ‘college life’ that Jack’s been living. It hurts too much.

“I know, babe, but I have to.”

Alex nods, sliding his hand up the front of Jack’s tee shirt, “I know. But at least I have you until January 20th, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They’ve never had sex – well, Alex has never had sex. With anyone. Boy or girl. He’s been waiting – for what, exactly, he’s not sure. But now, he’s pretty sure the waiting can stop. Because he wants Jack, and he wants Jack to want him – and maybe, maybe, if Alex puts out, Jack will stop looking elsewhere when he goes back to school later in the month.

Maybe if he shows Jack exactly what he can give him, he won’t cheat.

It’s awkward, at first. Alex isn’t sure what to do and Jack can tell that he’s nervous, but he doesn’t mention it. He just guides Alex through the process, getting him undressed and trying to get him to relax. It’s all tangled limbs and teeth clashing and it’s not anything close to what Alex thought it would be – but he’s hoping that it’ll get better. And it does, eventually, when Jack shifts and hits that spot that makes Alex cry out from the sudden pleasure.

And he really, really hopes that it’s worth it – that Jack will go back to school satisfied with what he has at home. Because Alex isn’t sure if he can take those calls at noon from a hungover Jack, telling him that he made another mistake.

*

But Alex gets those calls, still. In fact, once Jack goes back to school, it seems as though they happen more and more frequently.

- - -

It’s spring, and Jack really doesn’t want to have to do what he’s about to do. The cell phone in his hands is heavy and obvious and he just wants to throw it as his wall and leave it on the floor forever. Because seriously, he never meant for it to get this far with Alex. He met the kid nearly a year ago, and fully intended for it to be a summer fling. But, he got attached a bit too quickly and just couldn’t say goodbye- didn’t want to hurt him.

He screwed himself over, though. Because now, it’s going to be one of the hardest phone calls he has to make and he just really does not want to. Hurting Alex is pretty much inevitable, now, and he has to face it. He hopes that maybe Alex won’t take it too badly – maybe he’ll be alright, and they can have some form of a friendship later on down the road. Yeah, Jack has to laugh at that thought, too.

“Jack?”

When Alex answers, Jack’s heart constricts painfully, but he ignores it. “Yeah, hey Lex. It’s me.”

“Oh. Hey…”

Jack looks at the time on his alarm clock. It’s a little after one in the afternoon. “Listen, Lex… I was up all night thinking and I just… I’m not sure if this whole thing is working out anymore.”

“W-what? What are you saying?”

The panic in the younger boy’s voice upsets Jack, but he just keeps going, “I think we should see other people.” It’s silent on the other end of the phone, and Jack starts to worry. “Alex?”

“C-can you just…Just tell me – was it ever really working?”

“Lex… You know it wasn’t really….” Jack trails off, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously, “We just…”

“Fell apart before we were really even put together.”

“Yeah…that’s-that’s one way to put it. I…I’m so sorry Alex.”

Jack can hear the tears in Alex’s voice as he whispers that it’s fine – that it’s really okay. But Jack knows that it’s not. How can it be? He just broke the kid’s heart into pieces, after putting practically no effort into their relationship.

Alex will move on, though. That’s one thing that Jack is sure of. Alex is young – he’ll find someone better than Jack. Someone he can fall in love with. Because after all, two and a half months of a summer romance is hardly anything to start a relationship off of.