After Everything's Said and Done

It felt weird being someplace on my own. I was used to having my daughter, Sam, with me most of the time. But Sam was with my mother in her house in Connecticut. I was staying at a cheap motel a little ways outside of New York City. I had come here to find a decent job and a place for Sam and I to live. I couldn’t live with my mother forever.

I was currently walking through NYC looking for a Starbuck’s because I was in desperate need of some caffeine. I had just gotten to my motel late yesterday night and was tired. I had waited, of course, to come up here after Sam’s birthday, which was 2 days ago. Sam had taken my going away for a little while harder than I had thought, delaying my plans to leave yesterday afternoon. I had told her of my plans a few months ago when I had started saving money for my trip. But she was only 3 and was now 4 and it was her first time to be without her mother for an extended amount of time.

After walking a little more I finally spotted a Starbuck’s. I walked in through the door and found myself at the end of a slightly long line. The line moved slowly but after waiting it was finally my turn. I ordered my caffinated beverage and waited for it. After getting my drink and paying for it, I went over to a small table near one of the large windows at the front. I sat down and quietly sipped the hot drink while watching people walk by. I was also thinking about what I was going to do on my birthday because I was by myself. Then I got into deep thought about where to look for a job. I was so deep in thought that I didn’t notice someone standing next to my table and looking at me.

“Claire?” said a familiar male voice. I hadn’t heard the voice n 5 years but I still know whose it was. I turned my head to look at the person. He looked the same, but his hair was shorter.

“Gerard,” I said quietly. I still felt bad about how I had treated him that last day I talked to him.

“Wow,” he said. “It really is you. May I sit down?”

He nodded at the chair across from me as he asked.

“Yes,” I said. He sat down and stared at me as if he couldn’t believe it was actually me.

“So,” he said, sipping his own drink. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

I just nodded.

“What are you doing up here?” he asked.

“Looking for a job and a place to live,” I said. “What about you?”

“Not much now,” he said. “I just graduated from my art school in June. Now I’m just working and living here.”

“That’s good,” I said, smiling a little.

“Yeah,” he said. If he smiled I couldn’t tell. We sat there for a few more minutes in silence.

“Claire?” he said.

“Yeah?” I replied.

“What happened between you and Frank?” he asked.

“He never told you?” I asked back.

“No,” Gerard said. “He just told me you two broke up and he didn’t want to talk
about it. He never said why you two broke up.”

“Oh,” I said. I looked down at my hands that I had on the table. I figured I might as well tell him. “I was pregnant.”

“What?” said Gerard. “You guys broke up because you were pregnant?”

“Sort of,” I said. “When I told him he got mad and thought I had slept with you and that it was yours.”

“What?” said Gerard. “But we never slept together.”

“I know,” I said, tears coming to my eyes as I remembered that day. I looked at Gerard. “But he didn’t believe me and told me he never wanted to see me again.”

I couldn’t help it. I just started crying. I looked down quickly. I heard Gerard get out of his chair and come over to me. I knew people had begun to look at me as I was crying because I wasn’t the type who cried silently. Gerard helped me out of my chair.

“Come with me,” he said, leading me out of the Starbuck’s. He brought me into another building close by and we went up some stairs. He stopped in front of a door and unlocked it. I assumed this was where he lived.

Still crying, Gerard led me to a couch in the small apartment and sat next to me and hugged me as I cried into his shoulder. Just like old times.