Make It Go Away

I slid into the seat next to her, turning to the side so I could see her face. She had tearstains running from the brims of her eyes down to her chin.

“Congrats, Eva,” I said quietly. She turned to face me. “He’s a lucky guy.”

She nodded and turned away from me. Her hand went up to her eyes and she quickly wiped some tears away. She stood up and walked over to the mirror, examining herself. She was dressed in gray sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. It didn’t match with her curly hair which was gathered at the top and flowed down past her shoulder. Her make-up had been done, but there was little streaks of black coming down for her glossy blue eyes.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Sebastian,” she said quietly, looking at the ground. I walked over to her and put my arms around her small body.

“You’ll do fine. This is what you’ve been waiting your whole life for, isn’t it?” I asked her. She nodded and slipped out of my arms, sitting on the chair I had gotten out of.

"Care to go for a walk? It’ll clear your mind.” I walked over to the door and opened it, motioning outside. She got up and hooked her arm around mine, pulling me out the door.

I had always been the best friend. We sounded like your typical cliché romance, but we aren’t going to have a happy ending. She’s getting married later today and I’ll be sitting there watching, smiling and clapping for the two of them. He was a nice guy; the sweet, funny charming type, but he wasn’t me.

We walked around the outside of her apartment, circling the building until we came to the parking lot. I pulled her over to my car and opened the door. She gave me a questioning look before jumping in, closing the door behind her.

I got in behind the steering wheel and drove out of the parking lot, turning down different roads until we came to one neither of us recognized.

“Where are we going? I should be getting ready for my wedding right now,” she said, her eyebrows scrunching together.

“I just wanted to go for a drive, Eva. We’ll get back soon,” I told her, turning my eyes back to the road. We sat in silence for a minute until I decided to speak again. This time my voice was lower.

“You know, well, uh, you know I’m happy for you guys right?” I asked her. She nodded and tilted her head.

“Well I wanted to give you something. I’ve had it for a long time but I wanted to give it to you now.” I reached into my pocket and wrapped my fingers around the delicate paper and pulled it out. I held it out to her; the little heart coloured with red crayons. I had made it when I was eight, meaning to give it to her that day. But I never did. Now, so many years later, I wanted to have it.

She reached out and grabbed it from my fingers; her eyes scanned it as she turned it around. She looked up at me and smiled, putting the heart in her pocket.

“How long have you had that?” she asked, a small smile was on her lips.

“Too long,” I told her, looking down.

“Thanks,” she whispered, leaning over to kiss my cheek. “Would you mind taking me back now? I don’t think it looks good to be late for your own wedding." I laughed and turned around, driving back to her apartment.

She ran inside to the bridesmaids that were waiting for her and I smiled, driving back to my house to get ready.

We all sat in the white chairs laced with flowers, watching them say their vows. There was lots of teary-eyed smiling people watching, clapping at just the right times and awing when it was appropriate. I sat there with a sad smile on my face.

I couldn’t get rid of the pulling feeling in my chest. Eva looked happier than she ever had, but she wasn’t smiling at me. She was becoming Mrs. Him instead of Mrs. Me. She would always have my heart as long as she kept the paper one. I hoped she would realize that one day.

They walked back down the aisle and I clapped, smiling as she passed me with her bright eyes and smiling lips. Her hand was interlaced in his and he was smiling just as bright as her. I kept my mouth shut and smiled right back at them.